Age and physical presence proven father ( on slighty contention to Mr Blow of NYT)
- From: "." <agnescherry@xxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Sat, 18 Jun 2011 11:11:00 -0700 (PDT)
Age and physical presence proven father ( on slighty contention to Mr
Blow of NYT)
"ALTHOUGH he had never told me that he loved me, I would cling to that
day as the greatest evidence of that fact.
He had never intended me any wrong. He just didn’t know how to love me
right. He wasn’t a mean man. I had never once seen him angry. He had
never been physically abusive in any way. His crime and his cruelty
was the withholding of affection — not out of malice but out of
indifference.
So I took these random episodes and clung to them like a thing most
precious, squirreling them away for the long stretches of coldness
when a warm memory would prove most useful.
It just goes to show that no matter how estranged the father, no
matter how deep the damage, no matter how shattered the bond, there is
still time, still space, still a need for even the smallest bit of
evidence of a father’s love. 'Op-Ed Columnist
Remembrances of My FatherBy CHARLES M. BLOW
Published: June 17, 2011
...
PERHAPS PART CONSTRACTED AND THE EXEMPLIFICATION HOW PARENT CAN
SET UP A PEERSON ALMOST FOR LIFE FOR SELF DEFEATING ACCEPTANCE
SEEKING. THIS SEEMS TO CROSS WELL FOR THE YOUNG MEN AND WOMEN,
TO THE MERITAL RELATIONSHIP.
WHAT THE ARTICLE DISCRIBES IS NO CONCEPT OF UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND A
CONTINUED PROJECTION OF NEGATIVITY ONTO THE CHILD. IF IN REAL LIFE
THE PARENT DOID THAT AS OFTEMN AS ARTICLE STATES , THE YOUND PERSON
WOULD PRESEMNT LACK OF EGO STRENGHT AND EITHER FORM IT IN RELATION
WITH MOTHER OR OTHER SIGNIFICANT FINGURES OF HIS LIFE SOMETIMES
INCLUDING SPOUSE AND FOR THE PRICE OF IT ( THAT THIS WRIGTER WOULD
HAVE IF THAT WAS NOT JUST A CONSTRUCT OR SELECTIVE PRESENTATION
NOW - HE PRESEMNTS STROG ENOUGH NOW).
...
IT CAN BE EVEN WORSE - SOME PARENTS ARE FULL CRIMINALS;
7 COMMANDMENTS THAN HAD; unconditionally listen to mother and father
( sin otherwise)
some men today do niot have an imaginary figure to keep working off
thie way the author of NYT arrticle does. This essey is for them.
We, in such situation, contact the uncomnditional love of the
universal father.
The real father conveyes that on the real level; separates that
univeral acceptance
of the child no matter what ( but mind you , this is not reversive -
we did not parent
out parents) from the real relationships and in tghe testing situation
send these massages:
looks like you be starighting this us ( ig negative) and you know you
can always rely on me
( givenalso that parents does not take what is child responsibility
in sit - to mess him);
if positive - I am glad in proud ( conditional approval that is easuy
to go to far ) and you
know that I have not only my share of struggkles up the hill to share,
but I be here no matter
what meaning if you gotoo far too :)). meaning that parent is is
decelopmental reference point
for the developing person. At 21 - 23 after the period of doing things
together to get that 'share'
the messaging changes and the task oriented activity/ sharing family
responsibility with the parent account for age differences better ( no
longer a child). The unconditional love
have been transfered. That parent does not worry about child being
wrong as adult ;
harm the parent ( taht worse one), go off to far without checking with
the family and the like.
For these who do not have inner reference point lets work one; It is
very much like being
greateful on Thankigiving, and no other messaging on that day. On this
date we relate
to parent as is in us, if the physical is gone; or still work is that
and accept that we
do and how we do and get guidance for the rest. I reciognizwe physical
parent when
it is there vey well, but article here is for these who do not have
one, age proven.
.
- Follow-Ups:
- Prev by Date: The whispering pines and the hemlocks
- Next by Date: Re: Age and physical presence proven father ( on slighty contention to Mr Blow of NYT)
- Previous by thread: The whispering pines and the hemlocks
- Next by thread: Re: Age and physical presence proven father ( on slighty contention to Mr Blow of NYT)
- Index(es):
Relevant Pages
|
