I am a gay person (Deckard)

From: Superman <Blade@xxxxxxxxxx>
Date: Thurs, Jul 10 2003 9:57 am
Email: Superman <superthe...@xxxxxxxxxx>
Groups: alt.drugs.hard

POTSIE?! Ahhhhhhhhh! Dammit! (hehehe) Luke Perry... ok... that was
nice. He
is a good looking guy, I mean... I bet women think he's handsome. I
don't,
but he seems like he's attractive. I don't mean that in a gay way, just
that
he... <grin>

I wasn't high when that pic was taken, but the person that took it was
pissing me off. She kept taking the picture *right before* I was ready.
We'd
taken about eight and I was so ready to stop. My two boys can be seen
in the
background, hugging each other in a picture on the wall. It isn't my
office,
it's hers, she loves my two boys. She took that pic too, and hung it on
her
wall all without me knowing. She babysits my monsters once in a while
and
they both are crazy about her. My oldest has a crush on her, but you'd
never
get him to admit that. He just says things like "Do you think she's
pretty
dad?" To whit I'll say, "Sure, she's pretty. You think she's pretty,
huh?"
He gets that 'look' on his face and says "I didn't say that, I just
asked
you if you think she's pretty"... and on it goes, you can imagine with
him
being nine years-old.

On the gay fear thing. It probably happens because when guys are in
their
teens, *any* comment that is even a little bit "gay" sounding is met
with
mass ridicule from your peers. I'm sure the Deluxe One and Durt have
tons of
stories, which aren't a bit funny about that little bit of hatefulness.
This kind of conditions you to respond in a zealous (sometimes
homo-phobic)
manner when things get "mushy". Yea, it's stupid, and I try not to act
that
way, but sometimes those deep habits surface.

I tell my closest male friends that I love them, and they do the same,
but
it's a "guy" kind of comment - something like "Alright, I'll see you at
the
clubhouse at 4:00. Love ya bro." Or if someone is really hurting I
might get
more intense and say "I love you, and I'll do anything I can to help
you get
though this ***". Well, I'm sure that's way more than you cared to
know on
that subject.

Superman

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