Re: A case of a suffering Singaporean family
- From: zanzibar <zanzibar_duck@xxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Tue, 26 Feb 2008 10:43:49 -0800 (PST)
On Feb 26, 4:02 am, "truth" <tr...@xxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
http://www.asiaone.com/News/The%2BNew%2BPaper/Story/A1Story20080226-5...
Take our kids, we are broke
FACED with mounting expenses and debt, one family of seven could think
of only one way to carry on: give some of their children away.
Mr S Lim, 45, and his wife, 29, have five children.
Recently, they discovered to their dismay that Mrs Lim is pregnant
again.
That was when they thought of giving up for adoption their three
youngest children - aged 16 months, 4 and 6 years.
MrLim, who is jobless, has been struggling to feed his family.
The eldest two boys, aged 19 and 16, are from his previous marriage.
And the boys have been begging their parents not to break up the
family.
As a result of their pleas, their three younger siblings may get to
stay.
But the couple remain adamant about giving up their unborn child.
Said Mrs Lim: 'We don't have a choice. We are really struggling and we
cannot manage. We won't be able to afford the diapers and milk powder for
the new baby.'
Mr Lim said: 'It is a hard decision. We don't even know if it is a boy
or girl, but it is still my child.'
The family lives in a four-room flat in Hougang which they bought in
1999.
The flat is clean, but sparsely furnished, with second-hand items
given by relatives. The beige sofa in the living room is cracked and torn.
The Lims have mainly kept to themselves and nobody knew of their plans
until Mr Lim e-mailed The New Paper on Sunday and the Chinese newspapers,
appealing for help.
He wrote: 'It does not matter if we die but what will happen to the
children? Thinking back, we really should not have kept all these children
in the first place.'
But thanks to his MP's intervention, the family may no longer need to
resort to such a drastic measure. (See report on facing page.)
While the three children are too young to understand what's happening,
the two older boys were upset when they found out their parents' intentions.
Mr Lim's 16-year-old son told The New Paper on Sunday: 'I know they
are only my half-siblings, but it doesn't matter. I changed their diapers
when they were young and I helped look after them when my step-mum had to go
to work.
'I'd rather continue to suffer and get less to eat as long as we stay
together as a family.
'If my parents still choose to give away my younger brothers and
sister, I will leave this home too.'
His 19-year-old brother, an ITE student, added that he had argued with
his parents over this matter.
But he agrees with his parents' decision to give up their unborn child
for adoption.
'It's a pity that the new baby won't have the chance to be part of our
family, but I would want the new child to get a better life,' he said.
'It is the best solution, and we must be practical about this.
'Life has been hard for all of us, and I wouldn't want another child
to suffer with us, even though I feel it is still a loss of a family
member.'
Mr Lim and his wife claimed to have used contraceptives, and said all
four pregnancies were unexpected.
'When I found out I was pregnant again two weeks ago, I felt depressed
at the thought of an additional mouth to feed,' she said.
'I won't consider abortion because it is not fair that this child does
not get a chance to live just because we cannot afford to keep it.'
ON THE RUN
MrsLim said she had seen a doctor in 2006, after her third child was
born, to undergo sterilisation.
'The doctor advised me against it because he said I was too young, and
I might regret it later,' she said.
The Lims' financial woes started in 2001 when Mr Lim, who ran several
noodle stalls, was arrested for hiring Chinese nationals illegally.
He jumped bail and was on the run for three years until he surrendered
in 2004 and was jailed for a year.
Said Mr Lim: 'During the three years that I was on the run, my family
were with me, and my children couldn't go to school.
'After my daughter was born, I decided to surrender as I didn't want
my children to continue living unstable lives.'
During that period, Mrs Lim was depressed due to the overwhelming
financial and family problems.
SELL FLAT?
The Lims are saddled by another problem at the moment.
They have not paid their monthly housing instalments of $1,360 for
19months and have received a letter from HDB advising them to sell their
flat.
Mrs Lim had been unable to work as she has been on medication and
counselling for depression since 2002.
In 2006, she plunged into post-natal depression, and Mr Lim decided to
hire a maid to watch over his wife and to look after the children.
'Somebody had to be at home to watch over my wife while I go to work,'
he said.
But the maid will be leaving at the end of the month as the Lims can
no longer afford her salary.
In September last year, when her depression stabilised, Mrs Lim found
a job as a clerk.
However, the work stress caused her depression to worsen again and she
quit her job in November.
She is now studying for a diploma in business administration with a
grant from the CDAC. She hopes to graduate in July next year.
Mr Lim, when he was released in 2005, worked as a hawker's assistant,
and last year, tried to run his own foodstall.
'I tried to start my own business in the hope of getting more income,
but I ended up with more debts,' he said.
He had to give up the business within two months.
He is now trying to look for a job as a cook or hawker's assistant.
'I am not afraid of hard work. I can work 16 hours a day, I don't
mind. I just need a job,' said Mr Lim.
'I don't womanise or gamble, all I want is a chance to give my family
a better life.'
He feels he has failed as a father and husband.
'I should keep my family together, but I cannot give my children a
good childhood, and my wife has to suffer with me,' he said.
'We just hope to find a good family to adopt our unborn child and give
it a better life than we can.
'My wife has cried many nights over this and we lost sleep over this
decision, but we have do it.'
But help is at hand for the Lims after The New Paper on Sunday brought
the family's case to the attention of their MP, Mr Yeo Guat Kwang.
He said Mr Lim had earlier sought help from the Northeast Community
Development Council.
Mr Yeo, who took up the Lims' case immediately, said: 'The fact that
he has been granted assistance from the CDC demonstrates that he is aware of
the channel he could have approached for help.
'I am surprised that he did not seek help again when he ran into more
problems subsequently.'
'We will try our best to solve their financial issues and to help the
children.'
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
I DON'T WANT THEM TO CONSIDER ADOPTION: MP
ADOPTION should not be considered even as a last resort, said Aljunied
GRC MP Yeo Guat Kwang (below right).
'My belief is no parent would want to give up their children for
adoption,' said Mr Yeo. 'I still want to explore more ways to help them
obtain assistance. I don't want them to consider adoption.'
Last Tuesday, soon after The New Paper on Sunday contacted Mr Yeo
regarding the Lims' plight, his grassroots leaders visited the family.
Ms Anna Toh, senior constituency manager for the Aljunied-Hougang
Constituency Office, said MrLim was concerned about how he could continue to
take care of his children, with his mounting debt, especially in HDB
mortgage payments.
ALREADY GETTING HELP
North East CDC has a record on the family as since 2002, Mrs Lim has
been under full Medifund assistance for her treatment at the Institute of
Mental Health.
The family also received some monetary assistance, including a subsidy
of $430 under the Childcare Financial Assistance Scheme.
The Convenant Family Service Centre has been counselling the family
and giving them milk powder and grocery vouchers.
It was unaware of the Lims wanting to give up their children for
adoption.
Mr Yeo said some families faced problems such as unemployment which
are beyond the purview of the CDC. But agencies, such as the Work Care
Agents, may be able to help.
Said Mr Yeo: 'The Work Care Agent will help to understand Mr Lim's
situation and coordinate with other assistance schemes to bring relief to
his family.'
Mr Yeo noted that in some cases, the problem of unemployment could be
due to family conditions or poor health.
Ms Toh said Mrs Lim would be referred to the Tze Hng Wellness Studio
to seek further help for her depression.
Help is also being arranged for the Lims' children, with the CDC
working with their schools to provide financial assistance.
Mr Lim is not eligible for the Home Ownership Plus Education scheme as
he has more than two children.
The scheme helps low-income families get out of the poverty trap by
keeping their families small. It provides cash grants, educational bursaries
for the children and mentoring support.
Mr Yeo said he has also put in an appeal to the HDB on behalf of Mr
Lim.
In response to queries on the case, HDB said Mr Lim had been allowed
to defer his mortgage payment for six months and was put on a reduced
monthly instalments scheme on two occasions and his repayment period has
already been extended to the maximum period of 25 years.
Said an HDB spokesman: 'Despite these measures, Mr Lim was still
unable to cope and could not make the necessary monthly payments. It is
therefore not in Mr Lim's interest to hold on to the flat without making any
payment as interest will continue to accumulate on the outstanding amount.'
HDB therefore recommends that Mr Lim consider other more viable
options such as selling his four-room flat or staying with his relatives
until his financial position improves.
The spokesman added that the HDB is prepared to consider giving Mr Lim
a loan to buy a smaller flat if he can cope with the monthly instalment
based on his income.
Mr Lim said he was pleasantly surprised by the visits by the
grassroots leaders.
He said: 'I am embarrassed at having to ask for financial help because
I am able-bodied, and I want to find a job.
'I feel relieved that I have a chance to work things out, and that the
help came very swiftly.
'If possible, I would like to find two jobs to earn more, as I am not
afraid of long hours.'
Mr Lim also said he will think hard about his decision to give up his
unborn child.
begin 666 blank.gif
M1TE&.#EA!0`%`)$!`````/___P```````"'Y! $```$`+ `````%``4`0 ($
&C(^I6 `[
`
end
The problem wth Singapore is that she would rather give free money to
foreigners to come here to study but no contract for them and no NS
for them if they wish not to have PR for it.
But she will not be happy if Singpaoreans had 5 children - to help
boost the population for the country. She should have given this man a
good job instead.
If there is selective selection of big jobs for the scholars, they
should have selective selection of good jobs awaiting for for these
"population boosting" people like him.
They shoul give tthis man a good job - a high paid job, so that his
children and wife could feel the security of depending on him.
There should be free loaded with bag of rice and consumer foods from
NTUC fairprice, supplying them, until the children reached age 21.
.
.
.
- Follow-Ups:
- Re: A case of a suffering Singaporean family
- From: Paul
- Re: A case of a suffering Singaporean family
- References:
- A case of a suffering Singaporean family
- From: truth
- A case of a suffering Singaporean family
- Prev by Date: Why we didn't be the first to send our Singapore Orchestra to North Korea.
- Next by Date: Re: Discussion on emigration to Australia
- Previous by thread: A case of a suffering Singaporean family
- Next by thread: Re: A case of a suffering Singaporean family
- Index(es):
Relevant Pages
|
