Good news! Oz gets another stimulus payment!
- From: Peter Jason <pj@xxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Fri, 08 Jun 2012 09:59:48 +1000
Sometime this year, we taxpayers in Oz may again
receive another 'Economic
This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll
explain it by
Using a Q & A format:
Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?
It is money that the federal government will send
Q. Where will the government get this money ?
Q. So the government is giving me back my own
A. Only a smidgen of it.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to
purchase a high-definition TV
set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of
A. Shut up.
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help
the Aust. Economy by
Spending your stimulus cheque wisely:
If you spend the stimulus money at Coles, the
money will go to China
or Sri Lanka .
If you spend it on petrol, your money will go to
If you purchase a computer, it will go to India
, Taiwan or China .
If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go
to Mexico , Honduras and
If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan
or Korea ..
If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to
If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it
will go to management
bonuses and they will hide it offshore.
Instead, keep the money in Australia by:
1) Spending it at garage sales, or
2) Going to the footy , or
3) Spending it on prostitutes, or
4) Beer or
(These are the only Australian businesses still
operating in Australia )
Go to a footy game with a tattooed prostitute that
you met at a garage-sale
and drink beer all day ! No need to thank me, I'm
just glad I could be of help.
And the good ol' USofA has been stimulated for 20
years now. and is still up to its lobes in the
deepest warmest bong.
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