Save Your Troubled Marriage
- From: oomfhexcrrnp@xxxxxxxxx
- Date: 29 Apr 2007 07:10:12 -0700
You should never beg or plead with your partner to get them to return.
Begging or pleading just shows your partner what depths you will go to
in order to win them back. You'll then feel humiliated when they don't
respond to your pleas. When your marriage is in crisis, don't show
your partner that you're panicking. Desperation will cause your
partner to feel suffocated and will push him or her even further away.
Collect yourself and gather your thoughts before doing anything you
might regret.
For example:
Imagine that your partner has left you. You feel alone, desperate, and
will do anything to get them back. You call your partner continually,
do things that you know they like, and ask everyone you know to help
you get your partner back. What you don't realize is that, in the
process, you've given away any bargaining power you might have had.
You've shown your partner that you want to accept 100% responsibility
for the marriage ... and your partner doesn't have to do anything
except come back to you.
You may not believe this, but very few marriages reach the point of
separation or divorce without being pushed along that path by both
partners. Both of you influence each other in ways that may not even
be visible. That's why it is so crucial that you look at why your
marriage is in crisis. Even a tiny change in your attitude, actions,
or lifestyle can completely change the dynamic of your marriage. You
have enormous power ... but only if you know how to use it.
Begging and pleading gives away that power. Clear-headed communication
and complete honesty intensifies it. You are an adult; don't let your
partner's actions turn you back into a child. If your partner needs
space, give them space. Spend time doing those things that make you
feel strong, capable, and nurtured. Spend time with your family and
your friends; talk about your feelings with others. Do whatever it
takes to make sure that the next time you speak with your partner
about your marriage crisis, you are calm, collected, and in control of
your feelings so that you can talk honestly.
Before you talk with your partner next, ask yourself these three
questions. Are you feeling defensive? If you are, take a step back.
You may not be ready to speak to your partner. Are you feeling
desperate? If you are, take a step back. You may not be ready to speak
with your partner. Are you feeling resentful and angry? If you are,
take a step back. You may not be ready to speak with your partner.
Just remember: the ball is in your court. How you react to your
partner's separation may determine the course of your marriage.
http://savemarriagety.blogspot.com/#
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