Re: Jews who hate Reform Jews

cindys <cstein1@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:

"Eliyahu" <lrooff@xxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:1190658212.164793.159020@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
On Sep 24, 5:16 am, mi...@xxxxxxxxxxx (Micha Berger) wrote:
Jonathan J. Baker <jjba...@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:

I've been to both Orthodox and Conservative funerals. They're pretty
much identical, including partially filling in the grave (at least
covering
the box in dirt) as part of the service. This Reform service was
pretty
different.

Interesting. About your "partially": I have never been to the gravesite
part of an Orthodox funeral where the attendees stopped burying before
the ground was level with the rest.

And one time the ground was frozen, and the process of breaking the pile
of dirt in order to shovel it made the ceremony take a very long time.
And yet, they kept at it until done.

We had a funeral here a few months ago which was done under the
supervision of a visiting O rabbi from the coast. We all added a few
shovels of dirt, but didn't fill the grave. He and the family were
all Sephardi rather than Ashkenazi, so perhaps it's a "S" vs "A"
thing?
--------
I have (unfortunately) gone to a number of Jewish funerals in my city. There
was up until recently only one Jewish mortician/funeral parlor. So, he did
all the Jewish funerals, whether the person was O, C, or R. I don't think I
have ever attended an R funeral, so I can't speak for that, but at all the C
and O funerals I have attended, what I have seen (including at my father's
a"h funeral) was that the family and friends would each put a couple of
shovelfuls of dirt in the grave. When everyone who wanted to do this had
done so, the mourners et al would leave, and someone else would finish
filling in the grave. I'm not sure if the "someone else" was someone who
worked for the funeral parlor or an employee of the cemetary itself. It's
almost as if that's "just how it's done" (where I live), and I've never seen
anybody question this or do otherwise. Unless, I've just been going to "the
wrong funerals," or I never paid attention as the deceased's son dutifully
finished filling in the grave and I just assumed it was an employee of the
cemetary. If David Esan is reading this, perhaps he could comment? It's
funny how different customs evolve in different places, and nobody thinks
anything about it until an "outsider" starts questioning it. Hmmm...
Best regards,
---Cindy S.

I have never been to an R funeral, but in the all of the O and most of the C ones the
grave is filled up almost to the top by the people present. The cemetary crew will
just put in the layer of sod on the top. (Also, after the casket is totally covered
with soil, they will put the liner on. In the predominantly O section only concrete
liners are used. In the other section they use a plastic liner.)

--
Harry J. Weiss
hjweiss@xxxxxxxxx
.

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