Ode to Jewish Dating Sites

Ode to Jewish Dating Sites

My cup runneth over, my life is a joy.
Still, I am a girl and you are a boy.
I have many riches, my gelt and bookshelf.
But some things you really can't do by yourself.

I sell stocks by day and work out at night.
I'm never religious, that wouldn't seem right.
I love cats and dogs, and also kids too.
Nu, possibly maybe I'd even love you?

Tall, shtark and handsome, lift me on your shoulder
'Tween 30 and 40, please nobody older.
I won't try to change you, if you are good lookin'
And you'll do the cleaning and I'll do the cookin'.

Chemistry, chemistry, communication.
Who says that life isn't one long vacation?
We'll never get sick and we'll never get old.
And our hots for each other will never get cold.

I look great in jeans or a slinky black dress
I do love to laugh, no time for distress.
Though I am my own woman and don't need an owner.
Maybe I should just go and find a sperm donor?

I'm tired of bars, I'm through with that scene
You must always be smiling and never be mean.
You'll kill in the boardroom and kill on the courts.
Our kids will get presents from FAO Schwartz.

I like you, but you just are not my beshert.
Goodbye and good luck and I mean you no hurt.
I simply can't settle till everything's right.
Happy hunting to all and to all a goodnight.

.

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