Re: The 2006 Darwin Awards

John Wilson wrote:
"Tilly" <TillyGr@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:PGK4g.6601$0Y5.4886@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
They're out. Here they are!

* IN Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of
water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate
to retrieve his car keys.

* A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when
he ran," --accidentally jogged off a 100-foot-high cliff on his
daily run.

* Buxton, NC: A man died on a beach when an 8-foot-deep hole he had
dug into the sand caved in as he sat inside it. Beach-goers said
Daniel Jones, 21, dug the hole for fun, or protection from the wind,
and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom Thursday
afternoon when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand.
People on the beach on the outer banks, used their hands and
shovels, trying to claw their way to Jones, a resident of
Woodbridge, VA, but could not reach him. It took rescue workers
using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him while about 200
people looked on. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.

* Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, CA, as he fell
face-first through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was
burglarizing. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had
placed in his mouth to keep his hands free) rammed into the base of
his skull as he hit the floor.

* Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed in Selbyville, Del, as he
won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded
with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.


HONORABLE MENTION:
* Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover township, NJ, and
his wife Bonnie was also injured, when a quarter-stick of dynamite
blew up in their car. While driving around 2 AM, the bored couple
lit the dynamite and tried to toss it out the window to see what
would happen, but apparently failed to notice the window was closed.


RUNNER UP:
* TACOMA, WA Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends
when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from
the Tacoma Narrows Bridge in the middle of traffic The conversation
grew more heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of
the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge
they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham,
who! had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a
coil of lineman's cable lay nearby. One end of the cable was
secured around Bingham's leg and the other end was tied to the
bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore
his foot off at
the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy river
water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen.
"All I can say" said Bingham, "is that God was watching out for me
on that night. There's just no other explanation for it." Bingham's
foot was never located.

AND THE WINNER:

Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn, Germany) fed
his constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and
more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the
plugged-up pachyderm finally let it fly, and suffocated the keeper
under 200 pounds of poop! Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich,
46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema
when the relieved beast unloaded on him.
"The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr.
Riesfeldt to the ground, where he struck his head on a rock and lay
unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top
of him" said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik Dern.
With no one there to help him, he lay under all that dung for at
least an hour before a watchman came along, and during that time he
suffocated. It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that
proves that:

"*** happens!"

I laughed so hard after '*** happens' that my sides ached and I
nearly 'let loose' myself

I'm glad you enjoyed my comment.


--
TillyGr@xxxxxxxxxxx


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