Re: An article for Backgammon player

"CTG" <LONGLIVEIRAN@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in news:1136513629.942081.56820
@g49g2000cwa.googlegroups.com:

> from iranian.com
>
> A few nights ago, I was in the mood for playing a relaxing game of
> backgammon on the Internet, the game I learned from masters in my
> childhood. There are a few advantages in playing backgammon on the
> Internet. Cheating is impossible and Korkory (bragging) is optional.
>
> As soon as I opened a table, a player beeped and the game started.
> Right at the very beginning, my opponent raised the stakes and
> challenged me to do so. I doubled only when I was ahead.
>
> What you are about to read is based on actual comments communicated
> between us.
>
> In the middle of the game, he opened where he shouldn't have (Lat
> daad). And sure enough I hit him.
>
> He wrote: NR (Which means nice role.)
>
> I didn't reply as I sensed the sarcasm in his message.
>
> A few minutes later, he commented: Can you possibly play slower than
> this?
>
> I didn't respond to this remark either because I am a civilized
> Iranian who lives peacefully in America. I just wanted to have fun.
>
> When I got far ahead in the game, I doubled the points and surprisingly
> enough he accepted and offered a double out of spite.
>
> Then he wrote: You are a chicken.
>
> This message made me wonder. How could he possibly know what kind of
> bird I was? Why a chicken and not a rooster for example? The contents
> of his messages so far and his wrong assumptions convinced me that my
> opponent was an uncultured individual, one who I could not possibly
> relate to.
>
> Another message came: I'm going to kick your a$$.
>
> Once again, I kept my calm and let him kick my Dollar signs!
>
> Then I rolled a nice shish o besh (six and five) and covered two of my
> lats and blocked him in (shish daresh kardam). Evidently, as koon
> shaance ovordam (literary means "I pulled luck out of my ass"). Please
> note that only we Iranians are capable of pulling luck out of our ass!
> We must admit this is one of our unique cultural advantages.
>
> I raised the stakes once again. And this simple lucky roll of dice
> sparked a clash of civilizations.
>
> He immediately wrote: F#%& you.
>
> I didn't understand this message but I had a feeling it could not
> mean anything good.
>
> I wrote: Khafeh sho, (loosely translated as "Shut up". "Khafeh
> sho" is a more drastic measure than "Shut up". One can shut up
> and still breath and have a normal life but a "khafeh shodeh"
> person cannot breath because all major air passages are blocked
> intentionally to achieve suffocation. The victim in this case will
> permanently shut up! We may logically conclude that "Shut up" is an
> insult and "Khafeh sho" is a criminal threat).
>
> He wrote: I don't understand.
>
> I wrote: Be bayzeye chape asbe hazrat abbas keh nafahmidi (Which
> literary means "To the left testicle of the disciple Abbas' horse
> that you didn't understand." For the sake of brevity, I won't
> further explore the significance of the left testicle in the male
> anatomy or the historical roots of this sweet Persian expression.)
>
> He wrote: What an exotic language. Are you from Eastern Europe?
>
> I didn't respond, as I was preoccupied with my joft shish (double
> six).
>
> He continued: Female?
>
> Now he was hitting on me too! But I just wanted to be left alone and
> enjoy the game.
>
> I responded: Chi gofti?
>
> He wrote: It must be Hebrew.
>
> I wrote: Nagoftam khafeh sho? (Didn't I tell you to shut up?) I was
> trying to avoid a confrontation.
>
> He wrote: My name is ***.
>
> I wrote: Akhe, *** ham shod esm folan folan shode? (You call "***" a
> name?)
>
> Unfortunately, explaining the "folan folan shodeh" segment of this
> ancient curse for non-native speakers is a very challenging task. This
> truly fascinating Persian curse is the most polite way of calling
> someone the worse names you can ever imagine.
>
> This is a very user friendly and lethal Persian curse. There are two
> "folan"s in this curse. The first "folan" may be replaced by a
> person's name that you want to insult and the second "folan" is
> replaced by a bizarre sexual act you wish to perform on that person.
>
> Iranians, who speak Farsi proficiently, may upgrade this curse by
> adding two more "folan"s to achieve a higher level of insult. The
> enhanced version of this curse allows you to insult anyone around the
> world along with his family and the city he came from. It insults up to
> six generations in one shot. The global reach of this curse is
> astonishing.
>
> Yes, our Iranian culture is complicated and we can be so creative when
> it comes to cursing. It must be a result of our long painful history.
> However, if you are not an experienced Farsi speaker, please do not try
> this at home or consult with your father first.
>
> Regrettably, because of our cultural differences, my opponent did not
> properly absorb my comments. "***" was the only word in my message
> that he understood!
>
> He then joyfully wrote back: Yes, Yes I am D I C K.
>
> I thought: Shaitoone migeh yek cheeze koloft baaresh kon taa haalesh
> jaa beyaad. ("The devil is advising me to load him with a big one to
> make him feel better." However I refrained, as it was a devilish
> thought.)
>
> Then he said: ENGLISH. YOU MUST SPEAK ENGLISH.
>
> Now he was yelling at me. Besides, if I didn't know any English,
> writing in capital letters wouldn't help me understand. Would it?
>
> I politely responded: Be koon laghet khandidi. ("You laughed at your
> own wobbly ass.")
>
> Unfortunately, the history and the cultural origin of this beautiful
> slang are unknown to this writer. "Kiss my Ass" might be considered
> an English equivalent of this expression but I like our version better
> for obvious reason. He could easily laugh at his own ass in the comfort
> of his home versus kissing mine on the Internet.
>
> He then wrote: You are not assimilated.
>
> This comment reminded me of the two American think tanks -- Fukuyama
> and Huntington -- who have emphasized the same issue for a long time.
> They believe that all immigrants must get assimilated otherwise they
> are potential threats to American society.
>
> Although we exchanged so many cultural notes, obviously he had a long
> way to go to understand our culture. We could easily relate based on
> our common interest on the Internet, but *** was not willing to try.
> So I had no choice but to "assimilate".
>
> When I beat him in the game, I sent the final message in a language he
> could understand. I wrote,
>
> "Now, you are officially F#%&ed."
>

LOL
.