Re: It's 2008 but Hmong women are still NOT eating at the "Family" table
- From: hnubkaj@xxxxxxxxx
- Date: Wed, 19 Mar 2008 10:06:44 -0700 (PDT)
To Poor Zhen,
:( , LOL, Peace,
Hnub
To Everyone Else,
With 13 responses from Hmong men and 5 from 1 Hmong she-man, it
appears that there is awareness and certain degree of discomfort
amongst everyone and good small and big effort to change this practice
at the community level and/or big family gathering. It also appears
that some groups are more opened and equipped to change because of
their new religious belief and teaching (depending on where they are
in their transition). The Hmong tradition followers may have more
challenges adapting/adopting due to certain symbolic ceremonials and
practices that must be conducted at these gatherings. Based on some of
your suggestions, the buffet style may be the middle ground if we were
to set aside just one table for the "elders" to conduct their
ceremony. Everyone else, men, women, young people should all be
treated equal and honored as respected guests at these gatherings.
Why is this an issue for Hmong women? Why am I advocating for changes
and better treatment of women? For sure, it is self-serving because I
will directly benefit and so are my Hmong sisters, our daughters and
many more generations of daughters to come. The benefit is not more
food on my plate, I get to eat first or I am treated better than men
but it is recogniton and respect that a woman is also a human being
and deserving of same. I felt put down and embarassed when I attended
family gatherings that clearly implied that because of my gender, my
presence was insignificant. It did not help for the tswv tsev to keep
apologizing and making excuses as to why they can't treat me as an
honored guest in their house. In America, where food is abundant,
people attend family feasts/gatherings as a gesture of honor and
respect towards the tswv tsev, they don't just go for the food
anymore. If we don't change, increasingly women will stop
participating in kwv tij functions (we are too busy to mus zov mov
noj). Secondly, we are sending our daughters the message that they are
not valued in the Hmong culture. I could go on forever about benefits
and consequences but I believe you get the picture. Gotta go for now.
Thank you all for your thoughts.
Hnub
.
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