Death by cyber-bully
- From: "chow" <chow@xxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Mon, 24 Jul 2006 10:18:36 -0700
JOHN HALLIGAN
Death by cyber-bully
http://www.boston.com/news/globe/editorial_opinion/oped/articles/2005/08/17/death_by_cyber_bully/
(Paul Lachine Illustration)
By John Halligan | August 17, 2005
MASSACHUSETTS HAS taken an important step in forming the ''Safe Schools
Initiative," a pilot program to prevent all forms of harassment and hate
crimes in the state's schools, including online ''cyber-bullying." From my
own family's personal experience, I know that as we get ready for the school
year, we need to be aware of this new form of teenage harassment and take
steps to prevent what can be its tragic consequences.
It's true that the Internet provides young people with a wealth of
educational resources and enriching experiences that previous generations
could not even imagine. But what are your children actually doing online? To
whom are they talking? Are they chatting with friends? Or are they being
stalked by predators? Or harassed by bullies? Are they playing inappropriate
online games or reading inappropriate material for their age?
According to iSafe America, a nonprofit organization designed to promote
Internet safety, 91 percent of kids 12 to 15 years of age use the Internet
regularly. While 90 percent of parents think they know what their children
are doing online, only 66 percent of the children actually tell their
parents. In addition, while 92 percent of parents say they have Internet
rules, only 65 percent of young people say their parents have set
guidelines.
My wife and I thought we knew the risks of Internet use and thought we had
done all that we could to protect our 13-
year-old son, Ryan Halligan. But we were unaware that the difficulties of
Ryan's middle school life had extended into the summer, then into the
evenings when school started up again.
Two years ago, Ryan sat in the comfort of our Vermont home being humiliated
online by peers from his school. Ryan discovered websites that promoted
suicide as a solution for the pain he was feeling and met up with a peer
online who encouraged his suicidal ideation. Ryan took his own life on Oct.
7, 2003.
This is a sobering story, but important to share. Now, my wife and I are
doing all we can to ensure that parents and children know the risks of
Internet use, combined with the challenges of adolescence.
What are the risks?
Kids who go online have access to inappropriate material, unwanted
solicitation from online predators, and can be victims of cyber-bullies.
How can you protect your child? Keep the computer in a high-traffic area:
This way you can keep tabs on what your child is doing while using the
computer. Know who is on their buddy list: Does your child know each person
on their list personally? Do you? Are you comfortable with whom they are
associating with online?
Make sure your children keep their personal information private: They should
never share passwords, personal information, or photographs online. They
should never provide any information about themselves in their instant
messaging/chat profile.
Learn the instant messaging lingo: Did you know ''POS" means ''parent over
shoulder"? Ask your child: Which programs do you use for instant messaging
and chatting? What is your screen name? What is in your profile? Who is on
your buddy list? Have you shared your password with a friend? Have you ever
posted your picture online? Have you ever been cyber-bullied or
cyber-bullied others?
I think it's also helpful to define what bullying behavior is to your
children. In my home state of Vermont, we recently passed a new ''bullying
prevention law" that included a clear definition. Bullying means ''any overt
act or combination of acts directed against a student by another student or
group of students and which is intended to ridicule, humiliate, or
intimidate the student." Cyber-bullying is bullying performed online, but
its reach and potential impact can be far greater.
In Massachusetts, Aug. 30 is the deadline for schools to apply to be part of
the state attorney general's ''Safe Schools Initiative." I congratulate the
Commonwealth on launching this important partnership of government,
education, and others. Taking precautionary measures can help to protect
your child in ways you may never have imagined.
John Halligan is vice president of the Vermont chapter of the American
Foundation for Suicide Prevention.
© Copyright 2005 Globe Newspaper Company.
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