Re: Beer and Conquest
- From: "vello" <vellokala@xxxxxx>
- Date: 12 Feb 2006 23:31:00 -0800
martin wrote:
Given our recent discussion concern the merits of beer, this article
called "Baltic Countries" on the website intelligent.ru from May 2005,
caught my eye. I particularly loved this bit:
<quote>
History is a long affair. Over time, some people exhibit more drive and
enterprising spirit than others. Some decide to wake up earlier,
explore new horizons, discover new lands, and fight for new
possessions. Others decide to stay home and brag about how their beer
is so much better than in the neighboring village.
<unquote>
Enjoy.
(posted for educational purposes):
Baltic countries
By Kirill Pankratov
Over the past few weeks surrounding the commemoration of the 60th
anniversary of the victory over Nazi Germany, some former Soviet
satellites raised a big stink demanding an apology from Russia for the
"occupation" after WWII. Russia should really apologize for one
mistake. They shouldn't have extended an invitation to the likes of
Latvia and Estonia in the first place. What's the point of having these
little Nazi stooges at the Moscow parade anyway?
Russian officials engaged in rather tortuous and silly rhetoric denying
the "occupation." Frankly, it's a pointless argument. If you're a
small, piddling principality in the vicinity of big serious powers, you
get stomped, period. You can call it "occupation," "domination,"
"vassalage." It does not change things much. You're just a freaking
doormat. You're told what to do, and are obliged to lick the big boots
that rule over you.
They say there is no greater fury than a woman scorned. There is a
corollary to this statement, based on the same logic of a weaker party.
There is no greater hatred than a little vassal country which spits on
its former master whose power has waned. This hatred's flip-side is an
even greater zeal with which they proceed to grovel and lick the boots
of their new masters. It has happened so many times in history and, no
doubt, will continue.
There is one memorable line from an otherwise forgettable Stallone
movie Cliffhanger, when the hero, his back to the wall, provokes the
bad guy: "In a minute I may be dead, but you'll always be an *******."
Russia may be down or out -- proven by history to be a rather temporary
condition -- but you'll always be small, utterly insignificant
ass-lickers, extending wet and willing tongues before your masters,
whoever they may be.
Yes, building a large empire often required a lot of blood. But
pipsqueak nations are no less bloodthirsty -- just small, with a
limited capability. When they have their chance for rape and pillage,
they usually jump at it with greater zeal than bigger predators, who
can often afford to be more lazy and forgiving.
In many countries the locals collaborated in the Nazi racial
"purification" policy. But only in Latvia and Estonia did they
exterminate nearly all their Jews and other minorities even before
Nazis set up their administrations in 1941 -- and with the most gleeful
enthusiasm they bragged to their German masters how efficiently they
solved the "Jewish question." For many of them it was their proudest
moment in history --] that Nazis regarded them as the second-grade
suckers, to be subjugated, unlike others, of the third-grade stock, to
be exterminated completely.
Let's review how and why some countries become great, some -- just big,
and others -- neither big nor great. There is a lot of silly bull****
in this respect. Some think it is usually a matter of geography, like
when a country occupies a separate island, or is bounded by rivers and
mountain ranges. This is certainly wrong. A great nation can begin with
a small island, but it would outgrow small confines if it has a will to
do so. Ancient Greece -- one of the greatest civilizations in history
-- began with just a motley collection of rocky islands and mountain
valleys. You'd never guess looking at today's Brit brats, but they used
to be a genuinely great country in the 19th century. And the most
remarkable example, Venice, had its core territory a small swampy
island, which Romans ignored completely in all their 1000-year history.
And yet it was a truly great, magnificent empire for a time, in the
late 15th-early 16th century.
Basically, some countries remain small, pathetic nobodies for the same
reason some soccer teams are stuck in a third league, while others
compete in the premier league championship. Can you spell l-o-s-e-r?
Surely, even if you're in the third league, there will be some
passionate fans around your village, getting drunk toasting your little
victories and declaring your team the greatest thing on Earth.
Occasionally even a glamorous big city magazine will mention your team,
tickling your little engorged ego. But, damn... this is still a third
echelon, and many spend their entire lives there.
History is a long affair. Over time, some people simply exhibit more
drive and enterprising spirit than others. Some decide to wake up
earlier, explore new horizons, discover new lands, and fight for new
possessions. Others decide to stay home and brag about how their beer
is so much better than in the neighboring village. And even while in
conquest, after a spell of pillage and slaughter, some decide to stay
and commit to a long-term development of conquered lands. Others just
steal some trophies, rape some local maidens, and hurry back to their
villages, bragging about their exploits.
For example, Lithuania had its moment of greatness, back in the 15th
century. It was far larger in size than Russia at the time. Up to the
middle of 17th century Russians had to defend themselves from
Lithuanian and Polish incursions more often than attack these lands. In
the 17th century the whole huge territory comprising today's Ukraine,
Belarus and western Russia was still up for grabs. There weren't sharp
ethnic or religious boundaries. These lands switched sides and passed
from one hand to another many times. Why was it that Russia eventually
became the biggest Eurasian power ever, and Lithuania (and Poland)
ended up in a damp little corner of the Baltic Sea? In short -- over a
period of time Russian conquerors proved a little less corrupt, a
little more tolerant and inclusive, a little more amenable to the
long-term development of the occupied territories than the "democratic"
thieving plutocracy of Polish magnates and stupid pretensions of its
squabbling petty aristocracy, the szlachta.
When Ukraine was under Lithuanian and Polish control, the latter could
not care less that hundreds of thousands of Ukrainians were captured
and sold into brutal slavery in the Ottoman-allied Crimea, the biggest
slave market still existing in Europe in the 18th century. In fact,
Poles and Lithuanians were more likely to team up with Crimean Khans to
raid Russian lands. Russia, in contrast to that, starting with Peter
the Great, got serious about fighting slave-mongering khans, and kicked
their asses for good. No wonder Ukraine ended up allied with Russia,
and today (the Orange revolution notwithstanding) is incomparably
closer to Russia in a cultural sense than to Poland or Lithuania.
Lithuania and Poland at least had their passing moments of greatness.
Ever heard of a Great Latvia or Great Estonia? They were always just
village hicks ruled by German barons, and later by Russians. The most
famous Estonian -- albeit ethnic German -- I can think of, before the
20th century at least, was Fabian von Bellinghausen, the discoverer of
Antarctica in 1820 as a co-commander of a Russian expedition. Had
Estonia been a small independent country back then, his biggest
expedition would probably have been to Stockholm, where he would have
just bragged about how much cheaper beer was in Tallinn. And when they
actually became independent and sailed to Stockholm, they mismanaged it
so badly that their ship Estonia sank in 1994 with some nine hundred
passengers, making it the biggest peace-time disaster in the open sea
since the Titanic.
So you guys from that little corner of the Baltic, maybe you should
have your own parade, proudly displaying your long wet tongues, so
skilled in licking the boots of your masters. If history is any
indication, you'll need those skills for a long time to come.
thanks, Martin, it's a real masterpiece!!!
.
- References:
- Beer and Conquest
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