Honeymoon Ideas?

If I go to Europe, are there any places where I can watch nazis marching
down the street, knights on horseback being shot with crossbows, or royal
executions? Are there canals in Venice where maidens in silk robes dive
into the canal to retrieve pearls? Are there churches that are at least
1000 meters tall? How about oil paintings that are worth at least $10
trillion, or statues of naked men taking a ***? How about statues of the
virgin mary that cry and make Catholics scratch themselves bloody in
religious frenzy? Are there places in the Vatican where I can give my bride
an abortion for xmas? Are there volcanoes that bury Italian cities at 3PM
every day, or the Irish alps that require oxygen masks to climb, or blimps
made out of Swiss cheese that fly over the Grand Mosques of France?

Unless there are better attractions in Asia. Are there any airports where
levitating monks give rides on flying carpets? Are there live harakiri
shows at 3PM every day, geisha petting zoos, or airlines that serve dog
brain sushi? Are there places where I can watch starving children with
Bausch & Lomb eye infections, elephants destroying Indian villages, or
Muslims blowing up nightclubs with lots of white people in it? How about
the world's tallest skyscraper on top of Mt. Everest, Buddhist temples built
out of human bones, or Asians with 3 eyes singing karaoke?

But would there be more fun in North America, where I can watch herds of
buffalo blocking highways? Are there regularly scheduled school massacres,
or statues of liberty being blown up at 3PM every day? How about Mexican
illegal immigrants in holocaust camps, Canadians throwing spears at hybrid
polar bears, or McDonalds that serve Improvised Explosive Devices? Is there
a subway built by the Department of Homeland Security that goes from New
York to LA, or a place to watch Hurricane Katrina victims swim across the
misipipi, or whatever it's called? Are there cities where religious police
arrest anyone carrying a science textbook? Or helicopter tours piloted by
Mrs. Bush? Are there sushi bars in Hollywood where Tom Cruise chops up
newborn babies, or places in the Grand Canyon where Cowboys and Indians have
shootouts? Can I watch a KKK cross burning, or get a free nuclear weapon
keychain? Are there Wal-mart stores that sell starving homeless children?


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