Is Marriage Any Good?

I can't stand having a woman at my apartment for over a day. I say that
from having had women from all over the world. She stinks up the apartment
with her perfumes -- or if she insists she is "not wearing perfume", it's
the hundred other scented products she smears all over her body. They want
to take over your bed, make the bed sheets twice as dirty, raise the room
temperature too high, clutter up your bathroom with feminine ***, clog your
bath drain with hair, cook up terrible food I didn't ask for, then act
offended that I didn't like it. Or to clean things without my knowledge,
putting everything in the wrong place, and then accusing me of "sexism".
Making it impossible to turn on room lights at night, or work on my
computer.

So am I supposed to put on an elaborate act of romance, as if I need her?
Should I buy her a pet penguin when she gets the flu? We could name it
Peter, I could put it in bed with her, and dump ice and fish all over her
belly to help Peter feel at home.


.