Re: Checking In - Update!
- From: "Dick G" <dickdotgoldhaber@gmaildotcom>
- Date: Mon, 27 Feb 2006 16:47:44 -0500
Les, you were the best son that you could have been, and as you move on,
always remember that.
You were the best son you could have been.
--
DG in Cherry Hill, NJ
"LES!" <CruiseAddict@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:Z8udndaPO9VyD5_ZnZ2dnUVZ_tmdnZ2d@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hey guys. I know it's been quite a while since I've posted anything here.
I've not had newsgroup access on my laptop. I know I coulda gotten to the
group through the web, but that's entirely too much work for me to mess
with.
On August 1st my Mom was diagnosed with lung cancer. I went to East Texas
to
drive her to chemo and radiation. I was there until mid November. 2 days
after I left (after her radiation and chemo were done with) she had 2 back
to back strokes. Medicaid wouldn't pay for the hospitalization unless she
agreed to stay in a nursing home for 30 days, so I stayed home for a few
weeks.
I took the Grand Princess out of Galveston on December 3rd with a group of
friends. Then went straight back to my mom's house. She was released from
the nursing home the day after I got back to Longview.
Her cancer had spread, contrary to what the oncologist originally told us
once radiation and chemo were through. It had spread from her left lung to
the right lung (as well as enlarging in the left), both kidneys, her
spleen,
bones and brain (the cause of the strokes).
A couple days after Christmas, we decided it was time to call Hospice to
help us out a little bit.
On February 21st at 9pm my Mother passed away in her sleep. That morning
we
decided to start a sedation therapy, and that allowed her to let go. The
sedation therapy was just one of the many many decisions I had to make
with
no help from my Step Father, brothers or sister. (I literally had no help
from anyone even though they were all there with us)
She was buried yesterday February 25th. Which was also my 35th birthday.
As
hard as that was, I think in the end I'll find it a therapeutic thing. My
mother brought me into the world 35 years ago and on the anniversary of
that, I saw her out of this world.
Taking care of my mother was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I had
absolutely no help until the last week or so when my Grandparents came to
Longview to be there until mom passed. I was having to give her liquid
morphine every hour (as prescribed) through a Foley catheter. She was no
longer able to swallow and the taste and smell of the morphine made her
dry-heave. She had gone 54 days without eating. She got to where she
craved
food, so I would make or buy her whatever she was craving. She and I knew
she couldn't eat it, so I'd cut off small bites of whatever she was
wanting.
She'd chew on it a few times then spit it out. At least she had the
pleasure
of tasting the foods she wanted.
It was difficult when the dementia set in and she had very few lucid
moments. I'll never forget the terror in her eyes every time someone else
tried to adjust her pillows or wet her lips etc... She only wanted me to
do
it.
There was only 1 point where I had to leave her bedroom because of
something
she had said. After giving her the morphine once, she started praying out
loud. She said "God please forgive my son for killing me. I never will and
he'll never forgive himself". I do know that this wasn't my mother
speaking,
but the medication. But no matter what knowledge I have, it still hurt
quite
a bit to hear those words in her voice.
I'm home now and I feel completely lost. It's going to be hard getting
used
to not having to check on my mother every 30 minutes day and night. But I
know in my heart that things are better now. At least her pain and fear
have
ended.
This has been the longest 6 months of my life. And although I know it'll
get
worse before it gets better, I know my mom's no longer hurting or ill.
Now to make this an on topic post:
I've got 4 cruises booked for this year. I'm giving NCL another try on 4/1
on the Dream then on the 8th we're driving to Galveston to board the Grand
Princess again (my 4th time). I'll also be doing the Conquest in October
and
the Grand once again in December. I lucked into an aft balcony cabin for
an
incredibly cheap price, so I couldn't resist booking it (plus they were
running a $100pp deposit special!)
The 4/8 cruise will be nice because a cruising friend is getting married
onboard before we leave port.
So now that I'm home, I should be able to be more active online. At least
to
add my random comments :)
Hope you all have a great Monday!
LES!
.
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- Checking In - Update!
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