Going nowhere using kickboard

I never had a good freestyle stroke, mostly since my kicking is way
off. Wanting to get a better stroke, I tried doing some laps with
kickboard. TO MY SHOCK, when I grab the board with arms extended and
kick, I actually stand in place and sometimes even go BACKWARDS. If I
move the board closer to my chest, I move at incredibly slow speed.
I'm too embarrased to get coaching at this point in my life (I'm 42).
Are there any sites that show tips and have videos of proper kicking
form?

Thanks
Roger

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