Best real life "up the creek without a paddle" stories...

First story. Okay, this was right after I got out of college and
before I got my first real job with the MegaCorporation I was playing
hold'em and omaha hi/low split poker to pay the bills. So I go the the
cardroom on Tuesday (this was in California, important to the story)
and in the waiting room there was this real sad looking dude with his
face buried in his hands. Well, I figure, another sad loser....so I
play, and go home. My next session is on Thursday night, and the dude
is still there in the exact same position! So eventually, one of the
guys who work for the cardroom goes to talk to him and the conversation
goes like this...

CardRoomDude: Hey, what's wrong?
SadLoser: I lost all my money.
CardRoomDude: Don't worry, guy. I think you should go home and get a
good night's sleep.
SadLoser: I lost all my money and I have no way to go home.
CardRoomLoser: Well, why don't you call a cab and pay when you get
home?
SadLoser: You don't understand. I'm from Minnesota!


Second story. Friend of friend (FOF)goes to middle of nowhere in
Siberia to do some preliminary work for a MegaCorporation to see if
they can get stuff like Timber and Aluminum out of the place in 1989 or
1990 when the Soviet Union was falling apart He gets in a traffic
accident and breaks his leg. the conversation at the hospital goes
like this...

(The doctor tosses him a round piece of wood wrapped in towel)
Doctor: Here you go.
FOF: What's this for?
Doctor: For the pain. We have to reset your leg.
FOF: What the hell are you talking about?
Doctor: We don't have any anestic.
FOF: But it'll hurt like hell!
Doctor: If we don't reset your leg, you might die. Pain never killed
anyone...,

Grativo

.