Re: Movie review o' the week: The Last Legion (spoilers)

On Aug 25, 9:27 pm, John Rogers <tiger7...@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
A good summer adventure flic with an interesting spin on Arthurian
legend. Very formulaic at times, but what low-budget adventure flics
aren't? Also very jumpy because it is too short for the epic subject
matter it tries to take on. Still it was fun and I liked it. I
probably would have been happier if I had paid matinee prices.

(plotline spoilers follow!!!)

Rome is sacked by the Goths and the 12-yr old emperor, Romulus
Augustus (a direct decendent of Julius Caesar), is taken prisoner and
sent to the island of Capri to be imprisoned. While there, the young
Romulus discovers a sword forged on the island of Britannia for Julius
Caesar that had been hidden there for centuries since Tiberius Caesar
had built the Capri castle.

The captain of the Emperor's Guard, Aurelius (Colin Firth), and a few
of his best soldiers remaining from the Emperor's Guard (plus Mira
(Aishwarya Rai), a guard assigned to Aurelius from the Constantinople
ambassador) rescue Romulus and his teacher, Ambrosinus (Ben Kingsley),
from Capri. With the intent to flee to who they thought to be their
ally in Constantinople, Aurelius is betrayed by his friend (a Roman
senator) and the envoy from Constantinople as they try to kill the
young emperor. After again rescuing the young emperor and now not
having the option of fleeing to Constantinople, the group crosses the
European continent (in a matter of days seemingly, thus one of the
"jumpy" parts) and goes to Britannia to find the Roman 9th Legion, the
last Roman legion thought to be loyal to the emperor.

After traveling to Hadrian's Wall looking for the 9th "Dragon" Legion,
they discover the Wall unmanned and the Legion nowhere to be found.
They eventually find the Legion has "gone native", thinking they'd
been abandoned by the Empire. After the bad guy in Britannia (Vortgyn)
discovers "the sword" of legend has returned to the island, he
threatens the community of former legionnaires to give up the sword
and the boy emperor or pay the price.

Do the legionnaires give up the boy and continue their life as lowly
farmers? Or do they defend their boy emperor?

Well, half the legionnaires decide to join Aurelius and the boy
emperor for their last stand at Hadrian's Wall. A bloody battle ensues
as Vortgyn's army attacks the Romans and the fate of the boy emperor
and the sword is in desperate straights. But, ho, as things are
looking their worst, the rest of the 9th Legion, after having
discovered their conscience and loyalty to the boy emperor, shows up
in the nick of time and saves the day! Yeehaw!

After having seen his mother and father murdered in Rome and the
bloodshed of the battle that had just occurred, Romulus takes the
legendary sword and throws it away, swearing to "make war no more". As
the sword comes down out of the air after being thrown by Romulus, it
plunges point down in to a stone.

As the movie ends, a very young boy and a much older Ambrosinus are
walking through the field where the sword in stuck in the stone,
covered in moss and vines, while Ambrosinus is finishing up the story
about the sword to the young boy. The young boy is incredulous at the
story Merlin (as the young boy calls the old man) has told him about
how his father, Uther Pendragon happened to come to Britannia.

And now we know, of course, that the sword is Excalibur (we kind of
knew that before), the young boy beside Merlin now is Arthur, and that
he and his father (Uther Pendragon) are direct descendants of the
greatest of the Roman imperial bloodlines.

The best movie ever? Nope. The best movie of the summer? Nope. But fun
nonetheless. And an interesting spin on the Arthurian legend.

Plusteth, any movie showing the gorgeousnes and the ample cleavage of
Aishwarya Rai gets at least 2.5 out of 5 stars in my book.

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John Rogers
AU Class of 1985
The Al Del Greco of Atlanta
The Nail Gun of Quiet Reflection
Deacon Dr. John Flow

"A ship is safe in a harbor. But a harbor is not what a ship is for."

Dude, you are an idiot who is obviously being paid by whoever made
this movie. This film sucked so bad, only Black Supaman exceeds it in
sucking. You should consider jumping from a high building if you
thought this was not painful and shitty. You are a liar, and will burn
in hell for misleading people, if even one person sees this movie
because of your review. It's so bad, its not even mystery science 3000
bad, it's criminal bad...it's you are insane bad! Do not see this
movie or you will suffer the shame I am suffering now. I wish I could
die, and will probably kill myself because I am so scarred from having
had to sit through this piece of horrible horrible horrible shit. I
will haunt the makers of this movie in the afterlife. IT SUCKS. Dont
believe anyone who says it isnt the worst movie ever. They are liars.

.

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