Misc. Info.



#1, Your Car Mirrors:

I don't like it when people assume because they own one
piece of little known knowledge they consider themselves
a genius. Or even smart. However, it has come to my
attention that all but one or two of you basturds have
your side mirrors set improperly. When a vehicle is
approaching you on your left you should first see it in
your center mirror and for a moment or two, as it
passes, see it in your center AND side mirror. If at
any time you fail to see the car in either of your mirrors
they are set RONG.

"But Tom, you dickweed, a blind spot is a blind spot."
Once again, RONG. Most people set their left mirror by
sitting straight in their seat and turning the mirror slowly
outward until they just see the side of their vehicle.
What you should do is put your left cheek (the one on
your face) against the driver's side window and then set
your mirror so that you just see the side of your car.
Once again, this way, you should not EVER lose sight
of any vehicle on your left for even a second.

If you drive a Ferrari or a Maserati or some other exotic
car, never mind.

#2, Fun At The Big-Box Store:

I enjoy going to Home Depot, Lowes, Best Buy etc. as much
as any heterosexual male. However, sometimes when you
find yourself at Target, Sam's Club or Costco (which can be
fun regardless) and you are bored or in a hurry and don't
have time to enjoy looking over new saws-allls or cement
anchors you need a diversion. Occasionally, I'll see an
attractive but harried wife with her dorky husband and a couple
of kids. Every once in a while, if you can make eye
contact, give her a wink. You may get a big smile in return.
Maybe. (Not that I have done this since I was married...)

#3, I know a 40 year-old virgin.

-Tom Enright

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