Re: The Life Of A Pool Forum Troll

You limey's, the worlds greatest losers, you lost your colonies, we
whipped yo ass twice, twice we bailed you out from da Krauts who had
you whipped, with out us you would be goose stepping and drinking
snapps. You aint won a war in a century and no, running over the
Falklands island does not count, that is like me wiping out a fire ant
mound, no contest. Or Max the wonder dog, a 135 Alcase, beating up a
toy poodle. A frog *** dog. A real poodle is 75 lbs, a poodle hund
from da deustchland, a water retriever, a real fookin dog. The frogs
*** up every thing they touch. The frogs are the only people you
limeys have ever beat.
Why does the British navy have all glass bottom boats.
A. So they can see the Hood and the rest of the fleet.

Your food sucks, you cant fookin cook, and your booze is the worst.
Get on a Brit cruise ship, you will jump over board 2 days out to keep
from dying from boredom. Get on a wop ship and you eat and drink lika
da bigga pig and hava gooda time.

Bush keeps Blair in office and in reality, you are now our colony and
Tony is suckin 43's ***.

Here is why you people are so fooked up. Take the half breed *** Li,
she drinks a full quart of cheap gin every night, no fookin wonder she
is fooked up and as crazy and a bloomin loon. This *** rots your
bloody brain, makes you mean as a black momba and also as horny as a
mink in heat with no other minks around.. That is a bad combination
laddie. Your beer, I have tasted better moose piss than this ***.
And that black beer with he foam on top, I would rather drink motor
oil. Beer, real beer, glorious beer is only in the Deustchland, ya vo.
Pilsners are where it is at. Only ferriies drink light beer filled
with water. Real men, drink the real ***.

Real food is there as well, food real men eat. You never saw a Kraut
eating a crumpet. Fook no, he eats Kraut and sausage.

You limeys cant drink either, you go out, binge drink till you bloomin
drunk, then throw up all over the hood of a police car and think that
is bloody cool. This happens because the body revolts and rejects all
this moose piss you are putting in it and out it all comes.
The last time I was over I went into a pub and ordered me a pint. I
took a jolt and is was hotter than me pecker. I asked for some ice in
a glass and got one little cube. I politely asked for more ice and got
2 tiny cubes. I said, excuse me gov-nor, but can I have a full glass
of ice, to which he stomps off staying bloody yank, comes back and
rudely slams in down, like fookin ice is rare and your bloody blaggards
are in the fookin congo and dare aint no ice for 2,000 fucikin miles or
what. Fookin moutains called ice bergs are floating off the bloomin
coast and you act like the fookin ice machine has yet to be invented.

So I poured me pint into the glass of ice and 3 people dropped to their
knees out of breath, 2 ladies fainted and the bar keep threw me out of
the pub. Warm beer, you are outer barbarians, it's cold beer that
rocks dude.
So drink what real fookin men do, and over night you will become mellow
yellow, like Hu and Li, stinky and yellow. They you will love FL, and
all the worlds creatures.

Drink Blue Agave. We have 26,000,000 fookin Mexicans illegal here to
keep happy and this also keeps the greasers empolyeed in Mexico and
from coming over da border as well.

Here is FL's famous receipt, toss down 4 or 5 of these bad boys and you
won't be making any more nasty posts, cause you wont be able to find
the bloody key board, and if you do, your bloody fingers wont function.


So sit down, slap that frozen concoction to yo lips and here's some
songs you can sing along with laddie.

Life is a waste of time,

time is a waste of life,

so get wasted all of the time

and have the time of your life.



There are those who drink...

and those who pound,

and those who don't...

are bound to frown.

No matter what you say do...

Always cheer your frosty brew!



For every wound, a balm.

For every sorrow, cheer.

For every storm, a calm.

For every thirst, a beer.



Of all my favorite things to do,

The utmost is to have a brew.

My love grows for my foamy friend,

with each thirst-quenching elbow bend.

Beer's so frosty, smooth, and cold,

It's paradise... Pure liquid gold,

Yes beer means many things to me,

that's all for now... I gotta Pee



Here's to a long life and a merry one.

A quick death and an easy one.

A pretty girl and an honest one.

A cold beer and another one!

Irish Saying

I admire your strength,

I admire your spunk

But the thing I like best,

is getting you drunk.



"DO RE MI BEER" by Homer J. Simpson.

---------------------------------------------------------------

DOUGH... the stuff... that buys me beer...

RAY..... the guy that sells me beer...

ME...... the guy... who drinks the beer,

FAR..... the distance to my beer

SO...... I think I'll have a beer...

LA...... La la la la la la beer

TEA..... no thanks, I'm drinking beer...

That will bring us back to...

[Notices can is empty]...D'OH!



Life alas, is very drear.

Up with the glass,

down with the beer!

Louis Untermeyer



Beer beer its all here,

one glass full...

and one for my peer.



Why, if 'tis dancing you would be,

There's brisker pipes than poetry.

Say, for what were hop-yards meant,

Or why was Burton built on Trent ?

Oh many a peer of England brews

Livelier liquor than the Muse,

And malt does more than Milton can

To justify God's ways to man.

Ale, man, ale's the stuff to drink

For fellows whom it hurts to think:

Look into the pewter pot

To see the world as the world's not.

A.E. Housman



Fill with mingled cream and amber,

I will drain that glass again.

Such hilarious visions clamber

Through the chamber of my brain.

Quaintest thoughts, queerest fancies

Come to life and fade away.

What I care how time advances;

I am drinking ale today.

Edgar Allen Poe



I love to drink martinis.

Two at the very most.

Three I'm under the table.

Four I'm under the host!

Dorothy Parker



When money's tight and hard to get,

and your horse is also ran,

When all you have is a heap of debt,

a pint of plain is your only man.

Old Irish toast



He that drinks strong beer and goes to bed mellow,

lives as he ought to live and dies a hearty fellow.

17th century

English drinking song



STARKLE STARKLE LITTLE TWINK

starkle starkle little twink...who the heck are you i think...im not
under what you call...the alcofluence of incohol...im just a little
slort of sheep...im not drunk like tinkle peep...i dont who is me
yet...but the drunker i stand here, the longer i get...so just give me
one more drink to fill my cup

'cause i got all day sober..to sunday up!



I'm not the fig plucker,

but the fig plucker's son.

But I'll pluck figs,

'til the fig plucker comes!



I'm not the pig fucker,

but the pig fucker's son.

But I'll *** pigs,

'til the pig fucker comes!



*** this ***!

Just let me put my *** inside!

Eazy E

Gimme that Nut



Let us sing our own treasures, Old England's good cheer...

To the profits and pleasures of stout British beer...

Your wine tippling, dram sipping fellows retreat...

But your beer drinking Britons can never be beat.

The French with their vineyards and meager pale ale...

They drink from the squeezing of half ripe fruit.

But we, who have hop-yards to mellow our ale...

are rosy and plump and have freedom to boot.

English drinking song, circa 1757

*******************************************************************

Fast Larry's world famous Margarita receipt and secret. 6-7-06

Dude you wanna be in Margqarittiville looking for your lost shaker of
salt, here is yo passport. Put on Hawaiian shirt, shorts, take shoes
off, go buy some play sand at Home depot, sprinkle some between yo
toes, FL picks a hibiscus, He has 14 of them in all colors in pots, and
he likes the pink ones and puts it behind his ear. What the hell dude,
walk on the wild side, Mel Gibson did the same damn thing in the movie
the Bounty. He puts 3 strings of cowry shells around his neck and he is
good to go. Play the album by buffet Margarittiville and get ready to
kick back and be somebody. Be prepared to go into tamale, into la la
land. FL has a seat belt installed around his drinking chair with a
shoulder strap as well.

No FL does not put the funny parrot head hat on; he does wear a nice
panama straw hat however in the summer in the tropics. Yes, he is a
card carrying parrot head, one of the original members from Key West.
He and Captain Tony were drinking buds for years.

Disclaimer, actung, pay attention, do not make this drink. If you do
you hold FL harmless in a court of law. You will end up drunk, in jail,
in a fight, knocked up, bank on it. You can't handle this bad boy,
it's beyond you. This drink is for rambo's, not for girlie boys or
bozos like you.
The other issue is this. FL once drank Ripple and cold duck and was
happy with this as he did not know any better. He advanced into $10 q
uart top of the barrel bottles with a cork of Woodbridge carbernet
sauvignon wine red and could never go back to that goat piss with the
metal screw on top. Homeless people drink that she-yit. He discovers
the Baron Lefites she-yit and evolves once more. He discovers
porterhouses and can't go back to hamburger helper. Lipton black tea
was fine until he finds Earl Grey with a slice of lemon. He was happy
with his hav-a-tampa cigar until he went to Cuba. The list is endless.
Drink this drink and you are ruined. You can then never order one in a
bar ever again and be happy. You will pay 5 to 8 bucks and get a piece
of she-yit with no booze in it. If you tell them how to make it they
will charge your $25. They will want $3 more to grind up ice that takes
9 seconds, ice cubes are faster for them. You will wake up to discover
bar margaritas are total she-yit and a waste of money, a total bar rip
off. Top Shelf, bull she-yit, they aint got no clue what that is. So if
you like the drink and now order it out in public, you have been
warned. Read no further, run, do not walk away from this. Read no
further, you can't deal with this.

This drink is only for real men or you give one to a date when you get
her back to your apartment, you get laid every time. She wakes up the
next morning and says, did we do it. You say, no, I respect you too
much not to wait for you. Do you want to now? She says no, you take it
like a man, tee hee hee....As this bad boy is a triple beware, FL is a
world class drinker, 250 lbs and his limit is 2. When he drinks 3 or 4
he usually crawls to bed on his hands and knees totally she-yit faced.
His record is 6 but this bad boy does not drink tequila well, he is a
world class scotch drinker though. When FL drinks tequila this stuff
cross links in his system and he goes nuts, he see's a big S on his
chest, a red cape unfolds on his back and he becomes bullet proof,
faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive and can
jump over a tall building or wipe out a full bar single handed which he
has tried to do several times with disastrous results. He will proudly
show you his 10 scars all over 2 to 6" long and two bullet holes. So
if you are not as big and bad as FL, just cut these portions in half
for you and give the big Kahuna to your date.

You need a large glass and fl uses a Kerr jar, which is what he usually
uses to drink scotch or beer in as well. He has fine glasses and
Waterford, but prefers this. When he drops the $60 waterford that puppy
buys the farm. FL drops a lot of glasses as the evening wears on,
boozers under stand this. When he drops the Kerr jar, it bounces and FL
catches it usually spilling a minimum of booze. You have to be really
unlucky to break one of these tanks hitting it on the edge. FL breaks
about one every 2 weeks. He buys salad dressing in them so he keeps an
incoming supply of them in stock. He likes honey mustard, Caesar,
ranch, Italian, French, oil and vinegar.

The Jigger is l.5 ozs. This is very important.

1 ½ jiggers, 2 oz of Tequila, blue agave. Joes Cuervo 210 tradicional
blue agave respondo. Nicer stuff is El Ultimo agave resposado. The
color is light gold.

l/2 jigger Gran Gala, a brown colored liqueur, triple orange with vsop
brandy from Italy. Itsa nice sa stuff.

l/2 jigger grand marnier liquer, Paris France, this is made with
tropical oranges, cognac and Carmel. FL loves Cognac and his favorite
thing is to have some really nice Xo after dinner warmed up in a big
bowel snifter and just honk on it, sniff it till it cools and then take
a jolt. Just drop it in the Micro wave, fl is like a glue sniffing
freak, he would rather sniff it than drink it. He warms it up 3 or 4
times to keep it going. You can get stoned just sniffing this. Cognac
is like 186 proof and it's stronger than whale she=yit.
FL actually uses both, one to impress, the Marnier, but for just him he
prefers the Cointreau from France, an orange liqueur. In the movie
Casablanca when the most sophisticated man in Europe walks into
Rick's café American with Ingrid Berman he orders a Cointreau
cocktail. When FL is making the drink, when he gets to this part, he
pours 1/3rd jigger of cointreau and tosses it down as a jolt as his
bartenders fee. Then pours l/2 jigger and it goes in the glass. Pour a
shot and just sip it some times before dinner, it's so nice.

l/2 jigger of brandy. Any cheap stuff will do and most is pretty cheap.
Brandy and cognac are about the same thing, brandy is made in
California and cognac in France. Brandy is bad, Cognac is great. It's
like rot guy whiskey against Jim Beam. But for a mixed drink you can
get by with the cheap brandy. FL uses Centaure Xo Remy Martin fine
champagne cognac because its basically white wine twice distilled and
once you pop the cork you have to drink it in a reasonable period of
time or it will go flat and bad and at $140 a bottle this is a problem.
He has a pal who serves him Remy Louis X111 which is $1500 a bottle, or
$75 a jolt. Yeah, this dude has his and her's jets, DC9's, when he
wants to go, he does not want to hear his jet is tied up by his old
lady, so he bought the old lady her own. What do you expect this dude
to be drinking, ripple?

FL drinks a Reme after dinner a couple of times a week and so since
it's on hand he uses it also for his margaritas. Kind of over kill
but its use it or lose it, like your pecker dudes or your mind. Fl
said, the perfect evening is a Johnny Walker blue, a porterhouse, a
warmed Xo Remy, a Cuban Cigar and a hot blond later on in your hot tub.
After you put her to bed with sweet dreams you get up and pour a Johnny
Walker Blue neat, they go out to your private billiard room and on your
gold crown run and try and run 100. Usually you don't, now and then
you do and even if nobody saw it but you, that does not matter. Life is
to be lived to the fullest.

½ jigger of orange juice fresh squeezed. Larry has his own orange and
lime trees which are in 7' tall pots which produce and he brings them
in for the winter. His limes are from the keys.

2 full jiggers of Joes Cuervo Margarita mix green

Fresh lime, l/3rd of cut off and squeeze into glass forcing some pulp
in, then cut small sliver to float on top. In Florida use a key lime.
It is much tarter.

You now fine grind up into tiny chunks a ice tray in the blender and
then scoop the ice into the Kerr jar up to the rim, put in a stirrer
you keep from some nice bar, mix the drink up well and put it in the
freezer. Serve it 5 minutes later. For old people with high blood
pressure like FL, no salt on the rim, young people like to lick it off.
They take time to make so FL usually makes 6 of these at a time and
just stores them in the freezer in the Kerr jars and booze will never
totally freeze or crack the glass so if one of his boozer pals comes
over to beg for one he can put one out mucho fasto. They don't call
this guy rapido for nuttin. A tip, as this bad boy is loaded with booze
it settles down to the bottom and the ice to the top so you want a
straw or stirrer to keep mixing it up. When you have it half way down,
mix more ice and fill it back up, re stir and finish the drink.

If you have a date, don't do this, it is counter productive to your
mission which is getter her stoned and drunk on her ass and then bag
her. No mercy, the human race must continue to reproduce and it's
your responsibility to do your duty dude. You must not let the human
race die off, pork the bitch; deal with the rest of it later. Lie like
a dog, plead insanity, any good lawyer will get you off. Just keep
taking ad 5th. Get on your story and stick to it.

Fl has an equally divesting coffee drink so you can get laid in the
winter months as well. It's called the Fast Larry special; he is the
inventor of both drinks. FL invented many things, standing in line, the
coffee cup strip you pull back on the lid, the internet, the UPS cpu
back up, shafts, cue balls, drinks, the list is long. He is an evil
genius.

How did brandy come about?

In the 16th century, a brisk trade of wine existed between France and
Holland. This trade was, of course, carried out on the sea utilizing
war vessels, sometimes small sailing ships with limited cargo space.
These circumstances caused the cost of shipping full casks of wine to
be astronomical.

So, according to legend, there was a thrifty Dutch shipmaster who got
the idea of concentrating the wine (removing the water) and
transporting it in this form (sometimes referred to as the "soul" of
the wine) to Holland, where the water could be put back. When he
arrived in Holland, however, his Dutch friends tasted the concentrated
wine and liked it just as it was and insisted he not put the water back
in. The concoction grew in popularity and later became known as
brandewijn (or "burnt wine") and then shortened to the present-day
word: brandy.

What is the difference between Cognac and brandy?

Cognac is a brandy. It is a brandy, however, that comes from the Cognac
region of France which is noted for its special process of distillation
as well as its ideal soils and climate for the production of brandy.
Therefore, all Cognac is brandy. Not all brandy is Cognac, however.
Brandy made outside the Cognac region of France may not be called
Cognac and can only be referred to as brandy.

How is brandy made?

The wine is put into a distilling apparatus which consists of a simple
boiler, topped by a metal hood to collect the vapors as they pass
through the condenser and converted back into liquid, where the brandy
is colorless and roughly 70% alcohol (140 proof). It is then aged in
wood casks ("limousin oak," if Cognac) for a number of years, which
gives it its distinct, dark amber color. As it ages In the barrel,
alcohol evaporates more quickly than water, allowing the strength of
the liquor to lower as time goes on. After the set number of years of
aging, the brandy is removed and adjusted to shipping strength (40-43%)
with the addition of distilled water, as needed.

What do all of those letters on the label mean?

Distillers of "higher end" brandies and Cognacs use letters to indicate
the quality of their products. Interestingly, these letters represent
English words and not French. They are as follows:

E is Especial
F is Fine
V is Very
O is Old
S is Superior
P is Pale
X is Extra
C is Cognac

With this in mind, let's take into consideration some Hennessy Cognac
products:

Hennessy V.S. Cognac is: Hennessy Very Superior Cognac
Hennessy V.S.O.P. Cognac is: Hennessy Very Superior Old Pale Cognac
Hennessy X.O. Cognac is Hennessy Extra Old Cognac

What does all that mean? Well, like any other aged liquor, the longer
it is aged in the barrel, the smoother and more expensive it will be.
Therefore, the VS (without an "old" denomination) is, likely, their
youngest and most reasonably priced Cognac. The VSOP is still Very
Superior, but also has Old in its denomination, and therefore will be
slightly smoother and slightly more expensive. And the XO will have
even more years under its belt in the barrel, and will be even smoother
and even more expensive.

Which brandy should I drink or serve?
Which Cognac should I drink or serve?

Again, your choice in brandy or Cognac depends on what your intended
use for it is. Since brandy is often used in cooking recipes, there is
a question of how good does the brandy need to be if you're just going
to be cooking with it? So, I've broken down the brandies and Cognacs
into three categories: Top Shelf, Middle-Class, and Budget Models. If
you're enjoying some fine-dining at a restaurant or dinner party and an
after-dinner brandy is an option, I would look to the Top Shelf brands.
If you would like to experiment and find a more reasonably-priced
brandy or Cognac that you might enjoy, give the Middle-Class brands a
"shot." The Middle Class brandies/Cognacs are also good for when you
want to splurge and use a higher-quality product in your cooking
recipes rather than using the cheapest. And, if you're just using
brandy for cooking or you're on a budget, the Budget Model brands are
where to go.
TOP-SHELF BRANDY:


The history of Cognac
________________________________________
The Saintonge vineyards were probably created in the last quarter of
the 3rd century A.D. It was when the Roman emperor Probus extended the
privilege.

Since the end of the Middle Ages, the wine trade had been developed
from the port of Bordeaux.

The marriage of Alienor of Aquitaine with Henry Plantagenet had thrown
the Guyenne over to the English, who established, in the 18th century,
a monopoly of the wine production and commercialization in Aquitaine.

Facing this competition, the North European merchants developed, with
the Dutch impetus, two new wine-growing regions :
· - one to the south of Bordeaux, which later became the Gers
vineyard (Armagnac), with an access to the sea via Adour basin,
· - the other one to the north of Bordeaux, in the Charentes
(Cognac), its production having been transported on the river Charente
and from the port of La Rochelle.

Wine was then indispensable to provide daily drinking needs for the
sailors, who were making long sea voyages and who couldn't keep their
drinking water for very long. During the second half of the 16th
century, many Dutch ships came to the Charente to look for the famous
"Champagne" and "Borderies" vintages.

In the 17th century, the Dutch acquired a habit of importing the
Charente vineyard's products in the form of brandy, which meant a
reduced cargo volume and was thus cheaper to transport. Once mixed with
water, this product recieved the name of "Brandywine". It was also
noticed that this brandy, traditionally kept in cask, improved with age
and could be drank dry.

That's how the "cognac" was born.


During the 17th and 18th centuries, certain enterprising merchants
founded, in principal region's cities, trading posts and started to
export their cognac to the North America, West Indies and Indian Ocean
Islands.

Toward 1830, these companies acquired little by little a habit of
exporting the cognac in bottles instead in casks. Apart from the
specificities of each production, different kinds of cognac were
distinguished by their origin and their age.
The vineyard

It's slightly larger than 80,000 hectares in the Charente and
Charente-Maritime and is exploited by more than 20,000 winegrowers.

The region is divided into the Grande Champagne, Petite Champagne,
Borderies, Fine bois, Bon bois and Bois Ordinaires ; however, knowing
that most of cognacs are mixtures of different origins, these
appellations are only of a relative importance.
The cognac's age

As it gets better over the years, one can find on the market these
appellations of origin :
· - the V.S. (Very special) or ***, which can be sold at the age of 2
years
· - the V.S.O.P. (Very Superior Old Pale), 5 years of age at least
· - the Napoléon and X.O. (Extra Old), at least 4 years old, but
often much older. Some are up to 50 years old. They are very expensive.
History:
Some historic notes
Cognac's history is deeply linked to its homonymous region of origin,
and to the Charente, the river that runs through it. The Charente is an
easily navigable river, and has always meant a precious access for the
Cognaçais to the nearby Atlantic ocean on the South Western French
coast. Many shipments travelled on it already in early XII century,
transporting mostly salt and wine to the northern European countries.
Wine had a second, not less relevant, function on board: it was
indispensable to provide daily drinking needs for the sailors, who were
making long sea voyages and who couldn't keep their drinking water for
very long. The only problem was that wine was too much encumbering.
Then, the Dutch transporters, along with the French wine producers from
Charente, thought of distilling the wine. The product became indeed
considerably reduced in volume but also more stable and resistant to
transportation. It was named "brandewijn", burned wine - the forerunner
of "brandy"!
Later on, the French producers initiated the habit of double
distillation, to guarantee even safer conditions and cheaper transport
to their treasure, that kept in those times to be called "eau-de-vie",
water of life. They stored the alcohol in oak barrels, meant to be
diluted upon arrival on destination. It is purely by chance that they
realised that these eaux-de-vie improved with time and contact with the
oak wood. They began to drink it as such, and discover it was
delicious. Soon, it would be named: Cognac.

There is a turning point in cognac's past that could have meant its
extinction, at least in its native lands, and deserves to be quoted.
During the 1870s an infamous parasite made its appearance on the vines'
leaves, and quickly destroyed a large part of the vineyards. Land
values plummeted dramatically and the entire production risked to end.
The name of this insect still makes the Cognaçais shudder, so we'll
just whisper it... phylloxera.

Only le bonne chauffe
Cognac is a spirit derived from the distillation of wine, that is
processed twice through a still called "charentais". The first step is
putting the wine into a boiler: by heating, the alcohol separates from
the water and evaporates into a second onion dome shaped cowl. Once
there, it evaporates a second time and goes into a thin serpentine in
which it slowly condense. During this second process, the distiller
performs a delicate operation called "coupe" which consists in
separating the first-arrived vapours (the "heads"), the best part of
the alcohol (the "heart") and the tails (the "seconds"). The heads and
the seconds are put aside for different reasons - the first are too
high in alcohol, the second lack harmony - and then reintroduced to the
wine for another distillation. Only the heart, with its 72% of
alcoholic clearness, becomes cognac, and it is also called "bonne
chauffe".
The alembic used to distillate the wine has Arabic origins, and it was
probably introduced in France during the crusades. Many legends
surround the eau-de-vie, but probably the best known is the one
concerning the invention of the double distillation. It tells about the
XVI century's knight Jacques de la Croix-Maron, who had a nightmare one
night: he dreamt of Satan trying to take his soul by boiling it; as
soon as the Devil did not succeed, he kept threatening the knight to
re-boil him. De la Croix suddenly awoke and had the intuition that the
dream meant something more than it seemed. He thought that he had to
boil the wine twice in order to extract its real soul!

Double distillation itself is a peculiar way to produce a spirit, but
it is not enough to let this spirit be called cognac: then comes
ageing. Cognac maturing is a slow and accurate process. After the
distillation, the bonne chauffe is put into large oak barrels made with
soft, finely grained wood from the Limousin and the Tronçais forests.
The quality of the wood is very important because its inner humidity is
the element that makes the cognac age: the process of ageing, in fact,
ends when the spirit is put into glass bottles and there remains
immutable. Cognac, passing the years, loses progressively its alcohol
content and its volume, while taking wood's unique tannin, boisé and
taste. In order to be sold, it loses at least 60% of its original
volume via evaporation. The majority could think this is a wasted
quota, but French people found a more poetic way to define it: "the
Angels' share" averages around twenty-five million bottles per year,
making the angels flying over the town probably the happiest in the
world!

Elaboration is the next step, a very delicate operation as well. The
bottling of the cognac is not simply the transferring of it from the
casks to the bottles. The cognac we drink is always the blending of
several eaux-de-vie of different ages and "crus" - the six geographical
areas in which the production territory is divided - supervised by the
"cellar master", the magician behind the definition of each cognac's
unique taste. With a great deal of expertise, combined with intuition
and method, the cellar master holds the key to the non-written secret
of blending and transmits his know-how from generation to generation.
The cellar master decides also when is time to send the casks to the
elaboration. The oldest Cognacs are kept in a dark cellar, usually away
from the other cellars and known as 'the Paradise'. Once they have
reached maturity, the cellar master decides to stop the ageing process
and puts them first into very old oak casks, then into glass
demi-johns, in which they can stay for many years without further
development, no longer in contact with the air.
Prestige: a matter of age
There are obviously many different cognac brands, but all of them have
to follow strict rules to define their product. First of all the
harvest must come from a strictly delimited area, the region around the
department of Charente, whose entire vineyard covers around 80.000
hectares and 15.000 plantations.
But the most important limit to consider is a limit of time. To be
sold, a cognac has to be at least two years old, taking the age of the
youngest eau-de-vie used in the blend as an indicator. Reading the
label we can easily know the category of the cognac we are drinking.
Somewhere we should find one of the following acronyms:
- V.S. (Very Special); *** (three star); Sélection; de Luxe: stays for
cognacs in which the youngest eau-de-vie is at least two years old.
- V.S.O.P. (Very Superior Old Pale); Réserve; stays for cognacs in
which the youngest eau-de-vie is at least four years old.
- Napoléon; X.O; Hors d'âge; Vieille Réserve; Impérial: stays for
Cognacs in which the youngest eau-de-vie is at least six years old.

As a choice of the producers themselves, the age of the eaux-de-vie is
almost always older than that requested by the category. The term
"Fine" is authorised by the 1938 law to designate a Controlled
Appellation of Origin (AOC) Cognac.



Our choice

COURVOISIER
Today one of the greatest names of the category, Courvoisier has been
easily identified since the beginning of the 20th century by the shadow
of Napoleon, and some fifty years later, by the distinctive Josephine
bottle. Those attributes, combined with its authenticity and legendary
quality, are the foundations of the international reputation of
Courvoisier cognac.
To maintain its quality Courvoisier exclusively uses Ugni Blanc grapes,
from the four finest crus of the Cognac region: Grande Champagne,
Petite Champagne, Borderies and Fins Bois.
Jean-Marc Olivier is the company's master blender since 1986.

XO imperial
The bottle like a drop of perfume, reflects the voluptuous and elegant
XO, elected best Cognac of the world (International Wine and spirit
Competition) in 1994. A harmony of old eaux-de-vie from Grande and
Petite Champagne that has been further enriched with very old
Borderies, XO has become unanimously renowned for its subtlety.

Erté Collection
Erté, the renowned French artist of the Art Deco period, was a
connoisseur of cognac. Courvoisier's remarkable Collection Erté
consists of eight decanters, beautifully designed and inscribed by
Erté and containing an exceptionally rare blend influenced by his
impeccable taste. This classic blend, reflecting the warmth and
sensuality of Erté's designs, is made from only the oldest Grande
Champagne cognacs. The heart of this cognac is the 1892 vintage, the
year in which Erté was born.





HENNESSY
Hennessy is proud of its long history. Its Irish founder, Richard
Hennessy, was so charmed by the region that he established a trading
firm in the town of Cognac in 1765. Under his son, James, the company
expanded rapidly and took the name it still has today: Jas Hennessy &
Co. Eight generations of Hennessys have run this outstanding company,
travelling the world and building the brand's universal reputation.

Richard Hennessy
Richard Hennessy, blended in homage to the founder, is appreciated by
knowledgeable connoisseurs who set great store by extremely elegant
cognacs. Well-rounded but with infinite possibilities, mature and at
the same time every-youthful, this perfectly balanced aromatic cognac
is the quintessential Hennessy.




MARTELL
Jean Martell founded its company in 1715, when he was only 20 years
old. Six years later he was already one of the most important
businessman in Cognac. Almost three centuries later, his name is still
on top of the charts for lovers of fine drinking.

Martell XO Supreme
A combination of some of the rarest and finest eaux-de-vie.
Acknowledged and appreciated by connoisseurs for its delicate hints of
almond and vanilla with a long aftertaste and its full and powerful
aroma, as well for its deep gold amber colour.




RÉMY MARTIN
Beginning almost three centuries ago, the story recounts the
extraordinary determination of generations of Martin family, friends
and a dedicated workforce to battle the odds and create reality from a
vision that now sees its eaux-de-vie rank among the finest in the
world. Rémy Martin is about ideals and tradition; about passion and
patience; about giving decades the time to work their magic.

Louis XIII
Probably the highest quality Cognac on the market today, Louis XIII has
been carefully tended by three generations of Rémy Martin cellar
masters. The result is a magical combination of savoir-faire, art and
patience. A limited collection has been designed for great lovers only:
the Edition Précieuse decanter, in fact, is crowned with a diamond!

Places you go, cognac you drink
"The shoes of the shoemaker always have holes", says an Italian
proverb. Nothing more appropriated talking about consumption of Cognac.
The French, in fact, are not such big drinkers as one could guess:
their quota averages 7% of the world annual market. Much better goes
the selling in the United States that, with its 2.3 million cases per
year, represents the biggest importer of the liquor of the angels (data
excerpted from a study made by M. Shanken Communications Inc. in 1997).
This is surely due to a relevant factor, to say that the many different
ethnic groups in the US have several different ways of drinking it:
cognac is good for any liking because anybody can decide what to mix it
with! In fact, despite a common belief that wants cognac always to be
drunk straight and that consider cocktails using it as a base a
sacrilege, any country and people seem to have adopted its own way of
drinking.
In the UK, cognac has always been a common presence in pubs, where
people from any social level drink it straight, often alternating one
supper of cognac with one of beer, or even mixed with ginger ale.
Anyway, there like in most Western countries, Cognac is considered a
deluxe spirit, the top level drink to offer to a guest to affirm one's
high position in society.
Things change radically in non-Western countries. Cognac invaded the
Japanese market during the eighties' economic boom, when the French
liquor replaced whisky in middle class workers' imagery. The most
common use was "mizuwari", a mix of cognac, water and ice. And when the
ice was from the North Pole, that was probably the coolest thing a
Japanese could drink. In the Chinese area, cognac finally looses its
status of "spirit for special moments" and it keeps to be drunk in
almost every place and occasion, mostly mixed with water and ice.
However, places like Hong Kong and Thailand, traditionally big
consumers of cognac, are experiencing in the last year a "minor
revolution" in favour of red wine. Publicity in the media of scientific
made a big campaign insisting that grapes and red wine can help to
prevent heart disease and may also contain a potent cancer inhibitor,
while cognac is unhealthy, and this quickly changed people's mentality
on those imported beverages. Asian market was a main one for French
exports, and this change of taste meant a hard knock for its market. To
have an idea, in 2002, cognac exports to Asia totalled 357 million
euros compared with 947 million euros in the heyday of 1994 (figures
released by the Cognac Interprofessional Union). In 2003, US imports
represent a new glimmer of hope, even if its preference is for youngest
cognacs used for long drinks, something that someway declasses its
original status. In order to satisfy this new request, that sees 60% of
Cognac used in mixed drinks, many producers are recently releasing
brands appositely thought to be mixed, such as Maison Brillet and
Hennessy.


Elective affinities
Cognac has its own natural partner, sharing a love that will
difficultly end: cigars. They are linked together by so many elective
affinities that a large part of the consumers could not think about
having one without the other. A good cigar, with the right cognac,
sitting on a comfortable sofa, in front of the fireplace, listening
soft music while outside snows, is maybe the idea of a "perfect night"
that more people that one could guess have. Cigars and Cognac have
always been natural partners, but now several producers, such as Hine,
Pierre Ferrand, A. de Fussigny, Gautier and Davidoff (made by
Hennessy), have specific cigar Cognacs. And for those who prefer a
lighter, sweeter drink with a milder cigar, Gautier has a delicious
aged Pineau des Charentes called Panatela. Cognac producers often send
their eaux-de-vie to cigarmakers who blind-test them and send back
opinions that are taken in great consideration by cellar masters.
Unlike younger Cognacs that go into mixed drinks, Cognacs destined to
be cigar companions need to be aged 15 to 20 years or more to develop
that quintessential Cognac characteristic called rancio, which has been
variously described as the aroma of rancid butter, nuts (especially
walnuts), spices (particularly clove and cinnamon), dried fruits,
well-aged cheese, worn leather and a damp basement.


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Winning is not a sometime thing, it's an all the time thing. Winning
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Rack em sausage, Go play fast and loose. Ride em hard, put em up wet,
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Fast Larry Guninger, real man, real pool player, real American, real
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Roimh Cheartúcháin, Go dtuga Dia suaimhneas síoraí dó.

Minnesota Fats: Larry's teacher said? "When I played pool I was like
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don't learn from smart people, you learn from idiots. Watch what they
do, and then don't do it." Learn to be a lock smith. If you should be
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pigeon he should give you the 7 and the snap. Then you never lose.
Never put heat on your self, pressure is self induced; only you can put
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"I am the toughest golfer mentally." -- Tiger Woods now say's the
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Paul Newman, in The Color of Money: "Money won is twice as sweet as
money earned." FL says always have something riding on every match, it
steels the nerves.
W. C. Fields: "Trust everyone-and always cut the cards." You can't
con an honest man. Never wise up a sucker or Give a sausage an even
break

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