Re: Dad's Decline (OT and Long)
- From: Outsider <not@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: 28 Feb 2008 23:30:53 GMT
"jmcquown" <j_mcquown@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in
news:f_qdnYQS04UeLlvanZ2dnUVZ_rSrnZ2d@xxxxxxxxxxx:
"Joy" <toastie@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:13sblf9b10iro90@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"bobblespin" <nospam@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in messageI've kept my middle brother in the loop but he's sort of questioning
news:Xns9A516528D915Ebobblespin@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"jmcquown" <j_mcquown@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in
news:pZudnVAdoN8LL1nanZ2dnUVZ_qmlnZ2d@xxxxxxxxxxx:
An update, which may be premature. After rallying and doing sosnip
well upon his last admission to the hospital... after being moved
from ICU to a regular room and charming all the nursing staff, he
stopped eating. So they did the nasal feeding tube thing. At that
point he could still swallow. Now, he can't.
Jill
This brings me back 20 years when my dad had a massive stroke,
paralyzing him on the right side and he was unable to swallow. They
put in the stomach feeding tube, but it only prolonged the
inevitable for 2 weeks. My
mother and I tried to let him go (we knew his wishes), but the
doctor refused saying they weren't there to kill people. My mother
didn't cry much at the time, but afterwards, she cried every day for
years. I just hope you don't have problems with the rest of the
family, who often criticize the actions taken by those who have to
make the decisions, while
they are miles away and don't deal with it.
Take care, and as my dad used to say, chin up.
Bobble
The rest of the family may not need to know. When my husband was
dying, I knew his wishes, and talked things over with my children.
We were all in agreement. Near the end, the doctor said he could
continue a particular medication that would prolong things, but
wouldn't really do any good. He asked if I wanted him to stop it,
and continue the morphine, which kept him comfortable. After
discussing it with the kids, I told him yes. A couple of hours
later, my mother-in-law was there when a nurse came in and said she
was going to put in a shunt so they wouldn't have to keep sticking
needles in him. Then she turned to me and asked, "Did the doctor
tell you what he's going to do?" I said yes. When he went out, my
mother-in-law asked sharply, "What is the doctor going to do?" I
just said, "He's having the nurse put in a shunt so they can give his
medications more easily." She accepted that. I don't think she
would have agreed with our decision, so I didn't tell her about it.
Joy
what I've told him. He didn't quite understand (for example) why the
vascular surgeon said Dad probably wouldn't survive having half his
leg amputated and would not recommend we even try that. He's not
actually *challenging* the decisions I'm making (and yes, I'm talking
all of this over with Mom first) but he is asking me lots of questions
that almost sound like he disagrees.
He saw him last August; at that point he took Dad out to lunch, they
rode around in the golf cart a couple of times. Things have changed
rapidly and he really doesn't want to accept it. Then again,
hopefully without sounding bitter (I'm really not), if he wants things
handled differently he should bring his a** down here and deal with it
himself.
Sadly, my oldest brother is more interested in what condition the
house is in, for selling it (or turning it into a time-share which is
strictly against the covenants of the Island, anyway.) Besides, it's
Mom's house and she's still very much alive. But then, he called the
day Mom was admitted to the hospital (1/29) asking for a large sum of
money. When I told him she was at the doctor and I was 100% sure he'd
put her in the hospital he said, "Just leave her a note and tell her I
need $." Nice. (Note: he has since quit his job. He wasn't making
big bucks but it was better than nothing.)
Of course, middle-bro assumed Mom would move in with him when Dad
dies and had what would have been an office/study in his house built a
little larger so it could be her bedroom. A nice gesture, and maybe
one day she'll do that. It still irks me *her* bathroom is actually
the guest bathroom off the foyer. I'm pretty sure she doesn't want
his guests (he likes to entertain) traipsing in and out of her
bathroom!
Dad's older sister, his only living sibling, knows he's quite near the
end. She doesn't need every little detail. But she wouldn't question
us even if she did.
Jill
With all you have to deal with and you have these two adding to your
grief. That really sucks.
Andy
.
- References:
- Dad's Decline (OT and Long)
- From: jmcquown
- Re: Dad's Decline (OT and Long)
- From: bobblespin
- Re: Dad's Decline (OT and Long)
- From: Joy
- Re: Dad's Decline (OT and Long)
- From: jmcquown
- Dad's Decline (OT and Long)
- Prev by Date: Re: UPDATE: Licky's back home
- Next by Date: Re: Q
- Previous by thread: Re: Dad's Decline (OT and Long)
- Next by thread: Re: Dad's Decline (OT and Long)
- Index(es):
Relevant Pages
|
