Re: Rob's update Saturday 3 March 07

"tanadashoes" <tanada@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:1172948478.632595.304290@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hey all, I'm responding on what will be Rob's new toy, thanks to
Mandy's boyfriend, Jim, and a certain wonderful lady in a northern
state. The arrangement is that this laptop will go to the hospital or
nursing home with us and that it is Rob's, but we will take it home
when we go home ourselves. Less chance for theft that way. After Rob
is gone, ownership of the laptop will go to Jim. This is an ACER
bought at Radioshack for $700 with a $100 rebate. Jim ponied up over
half of the cash for it, and I covered the rest. It has microsoft
vista on it and is wi-fi (obviously) wired.

We're looking at nursing homes for Rob. I have received two good
recommendations, or at least good as of 10 years ago. We hope to have
him back in Fayetteville this week. I'm currently waiting for lunch
and for Mike to get his heinz ketchup *** up here so we can take this
to Rob. I think Rob will really appreciate this.

We're back on the rollercoaster. When I called the rehab center,
Eric, Rob's nurse, said that Rob was sitting in the lunch room eating
and that he'd responded well to therapy. This after yesterday when
Rob was incontinent, unable to make sense, and so forth. I was told
to get used to it. I think this one is going to be a long one and
going to hurt. Sigh.

To be honest MaryL, I hadn't even thought about DNRs. Oh God, I don't
want to make that decision. As I just posted, Rob was not competent
yesterday, and I talked to the Social Worker who would be doing all
legal paperwork, and he said that he couldn't notarize any legal work
for Rob when he, the social worker, couldn't verify that Rob really
knew what he was signing. I agee with him. But this doesn't make it
any easier.

Pam S.

I thought I had a rough time when my husband died of lung cancer. Your
ordeal is much, much worse. If Rob becomes rational again, you can discuss
the DNR thing with him and find out his wishes. If that's what he wants,
and he's rational, he can sign the papers and it won't be your
responsibility. It's awful to have that kind of power, even when you know
you're trying to do the best for the person.

I didn't really do anything about it when my husband died. However, last
year when it became obvious that my mother needed to go into a nursing home,
I made sure I have a Directive to Physicians and a DNR. I think there are
three forms altogether, but it varies from state to state. Fortunately, my
mother had made her wishes clear, and had given my sister both financial and
medical powers of attorney, so things were done as she wished. It does help
when you know what the person wants, because you're carrying out their
wishes, rather than making the decisions for yourself.

My thoughts and prayers are with you during this very hard time.

((((((((((Pam and Rob))))))))))

Joy


.