Re: Looks like I'm staying

On Wed, 03 May 2006 02:44:40 GMT, Tanada <tanada@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:

jmcquown wrote:


I'm already in agreement that Dad is not in his right mind. He's in the
early stages of Alztheimers. I really hate to say this, but I suppose I
should. I have a job interview next Monday and he said "Oh, you are going
to be interviewed by a ***?" OMG, Dad, you didn't really say that to me.
Yes (he said), I actually did say that. WTF? I hate racism. He said so
call me a racist. I am a racist. This is the point where I don't like my
father anymore.


That is not your father talking, but the alztheimers. If your father
was a racist, you'd have known it long ago. Alztheimers changes their
brains and personalities so much.

We're going through a confusing time with Rob as well. This weekend, he
thought Mike was "challenging" him. Mike had no idea what was going on.
Rob tried to ground a 23 year old man. I got Mike aside and told him
to apologize to Rob and then got Rob away from Mike to find out what was
going on. Mike had made a statement on the order of "common, let's go,"
and Rob thought that Mike was ordering him around. Rob was the most
mild mannered and gentle man you'd ever hope to meet. Not anymore.
He's not physical at all, but his temper is getting more obvious. It's
not Rob, but the cancer speaking.

Just keep reminding yourself that your dad is in there somewhere, knows
what is happening to himself and is confused by it as much as you are.
Then tell him "yes sir" and do what you feel is needed for yourself. It
is better not to argue with him, if you can help it.


My father was officially diagnosed as _not_ having Alzheimer's, but
the doctors never said just what form of dementia he did have in
addition to his series of minor strokes in his last two years of life.
As his condition deteriorated, he became physically aggressive at
times, sometimes used swear words, and sometimes made racist remarks,
none of which had previously been characteristic of him. The verbal
and physical aggression was usually when he was trying to fight off an
aide trying to catheterize him (he had had bladder cancer 10 years
earlier, and had handled the catheters himself until the first stroke
robbed him of the memory of how to do the procedure, and eventually of
the understanding of why the procedure needed to be done). They
sometimes ended up having to give him powerful tranquilizers before
they could catheterize him.

--
John F. Eldredge -- john@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
PGP key available from http://pgp.mit.edu
"Reserve your right to think, for even to think wrongly is better
than not to think at all." -- Hypatia of Alexandria
.

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