Re: [Long] Re: Projecting Prejudices (WAS: Re: 'Monster' Cat In China Weighs 33 Pounds)


"-L." <gentleboa@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:1141090494.046495.132440@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

jXwXeXrXmXoXnXt@xxxxxxxxx wrote:
CatNipped <lcrews@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:

> *NOBODY* *CHOOSES* *TO* *BE* *FAT*!!!

That's probably true, for the most part. I do know people who choose
not to diet, and by doing so, they stay fat.

It's not a matter of "dieting". It's a matter of changing your
lifestyle and for many fighting against your "natural" state which is
"overweight" based on "societal"** standards. A low metabolism is a
survival mechanism in most animals, including humans. And as Lori said
- it is also a battle against an addiction for many.

**Some societies/cultures value those who are overweight or obese -
it's merely a matter or perspective.



But I'm not convinced that
dieting would make them thin anyway, so it's not really much of a choice
after all. (I'm one of these people, by the way.)

It is a myth that we can control our weight in the long run. Most of
us cannot. We can lose weight in the short run, sure. And that's what
gives us the idea that we control our weight. But for 98% of dieters,
it comes back, often with even more weight.

The real clincher for me is that dieting and regaining, over and over,
is so unhealthy that I think it's better for me to remain at my current
size. I'm not saying there are no risks to being at my weight, but until
there is a SAFE, EFFECTIVE, and PERMANENT way to lose weight, I'm not
doing it anymore. Instead, I'm putting my energy into eating well,
exercising, and taking care of my body in the best way I can. So far,
so good.

> Having a choice between this: http://www.possibleplaces.com/Before/
and
> this: http://www.possibleplaces.com/After/ does anybody in their right
mind
> think I would *CHOOSE* or *ALLOW MYSELF* to look (AND FEEL!!) as I
looked
> for 30 years of my life????!!!!!

Well, frankly, Lori, I don't think you look so bad in the before picture!
It's not a very flattering picture, which has nothing to do with your
size.
The picture is blurry, you're not wearing an outfit that flatters your
body as well as another one might, and your haircut in the "after"
picture
is much better, too. It's like those weight-loss ads that show before and
after pictures - the before picture always shows the woman in a muumuu
and
a bad haircut, looking unhappy, and the picture is blurry and has bad,
unflattering lighting. The after photo always looks clean, crisp,
colorful,
and the woman is wearing a great outfit, is made up, and smiling to beat
the band. Well NATURALLY she looks better in the after picture!

Lori probably doesn't have any good pictures of herself at her highest
weight because she felt so bad about herself either she didn't let
people take photos or her low self-esteem showed in the photos that
were taken. (Excuse me Lori, if this isn't true.) I have weighed
everything from 98 to 198 as an adult. You will never find a pic of me
at 198 - none were taken. You will only find one of me at 98 - for the
same exact reasons.

Very true! Those pictures were taken on a trip to New York City and I *HAD*
to have at least a couple of pictures of me there - but I hated them. My
clothes were sloppy (except for work), my hair was a mess - because, besides
feeling bad and tired all the time, I had no self-esteem at that point. I'm
normally a very out-going, happy-go-lucky type person, but when I was that
weight very few people would even bother to talk to me!

I once , while looking for a prom dress for my daughter, walked into a 5-7-9
store and had a skinny little sales girl run up to me before I got two steps
inside the door. She looked me up and down and said, with sneer on her
face, "Oh we don't sell your sizes in this store." I said, "Well thank you
for telling me that before I spent hundreds of dollars on my daughter's prom
dress, we wouldn't want a snotty little git like you to have *that*
commission, now would we?" I stuck my nose up and walked out the store, but
when I got to the parking lot I sat in my car and cried - then I went out
and had a Big Mac (my comfort food - the more people rag on you about your
weight, the worse you feel, and the more comfort food you need).

You see, for me (and I suspect for a lot of other people) overeating wasn't
about being greedy about food. What I was trying to do was somehow fill up
that huge void inside of me that *should* have been filled with my mother's
love and approval. By the time I finally realized that was my problem (and
able to give to myself what my mother withheld from me) I was so overweight
(and had been for so long) that simple dieting would never have worked.
Even knowing this about myself, I still have times when I want comfort food,
though - it's insidious.

--

Hugs,

CatNipped

See all my masters at: http://www.PossiblePlaces.com/CatNipped/




Of course, I can't tell you how you *felt* at your higher weight, that's
not something I could know. But I don't think fat equals ugly, so when I
see a fat person, I don't automatically dismiss them as unattractive. It
would take other attributes to turn me off of someone - fat or thin.

American society does not value people who are even moderately
overweight. So you are the exception.


However, it's true that most people would not choose to be the object of
prejudice, discrimination, ridicule, rejection, and so forth. So given
the
choice, most people would lose weight and keep it off, if they could. So
why can't they? Maybe because biologically, our bodies fight any and all
attempts to lose weight? Your metabolism doesn't know the difference
between chosen and unchosen starvation, after all. And we're still here
on earth because our bodies have evolved ways to keep ourselves from
starving.

Bingo.


What I really can't stand is the moral righteousness people have about
fat people. What is that about? To all who are reading this post: if you
are the kind of person who sneers at a fat person and who believes that
they deserve moral judgement, could you take a few minutes and ask
yourself
why you feel the need to make that judgement? What's it to ya, anyway?
Why do you care if a fat person complains about her health, but doesn't
"do anything" about her weight?

It seems so petty and sophomoric.

<snip>


No, now they're gun-toting gangstas. Don't assume racism is gone just
because polite white people don't express it openly. I do agree with
you that it's still OK to express fat-hatred openly. But as a white
person, I can't assume that racism isn't getting expressed just because
I don't see it very much. Ask any black person you meet, and you'll hear
about being followed in stores by clerks, stopped on the highway for no
reason at all ("Driving While Black"), people crossing the street when
they see them coming. It's still there, even if it's more hidden than it
used to be.


It's just become more covert and subtle. Racism is still alive and
well in America.



> What people don't seem to "get" is that overeating is an addiction
like
> every other addiction *with one crucial exception* - you can't avoid
food
> like you can avoid the source of other addictions.

And this assumes that all fat people eat too much, which is simply not
the case. That is a superficial analysis and ignores the complexity of
the human metabolism.

Bingo. Plus the addiction, and the psychological ramifications of
being overweight.



Which is not to deny that many people do have eating disorders, and I'm
sure that is hell to live with and recover from.

Many people go from one eating disorder to another. I have suffered
obesity and anorexia nervosa, both. And I can tell you that 100% of my
eating disorders stemmed from societal pressure and low self-esteem.
It took me 30-some-odd years to learn not to hate my body - a lesson I
learned from society at a very young age. We are doing a number on our
little girls in this country. And it is the bigots and the media who
sneer at overweight girls/women who are guilty.

-L.



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