Re: My Fight With a Friend Last Night [Not OT]


CatNipped wrote:
> I may have ended a 45 year friendship last night. I'm talking about a woman
> who has been my best friend since the 5th grade - we've been through
> *everything* together. She lives in Mandeville, LA now, and I live in
> Houston, TX, but until I moved to Houston in 1991 we were inseparable.
>
> I always knew she wasn't a cat person - not even a pet person. Her
> interests are just in people not animals (so maybe she should have known
> enough about me to know what my reactions would be before she dropped the
> bombshell she did last night!!?).
>
> A while back, she adopted two cats, a male and a female. First of all, she
> didn't get them fixed right away (even turned down my offer of the money to
> have them fixed), so naturally she ended up with a pregnant cat. She
> refused to have the cat aborted/spayed, so I gritted my teeth and helped her
> get through how to care for a pregnant queen and told her how to find *good*
> slaves for the kittens.
>
> At around that same time, she mentioned saving up the money to get them
> fixed and *have them declawed*. I spent an hour and a half on the phone
> telling her why she shouldn't have them declawed and giving her realistic
> alternatives. We had several phone conversations after that with me
> reiterating the reasons why cats shouldn't be declawed. I gave her all the
> grisly details of what declawing entails and told her that most civilized
> countries around the world have made declawing illegal because it's so cruel
> and barbaric.
>
> I had a cat declawed many years ago when a landlord told me I had to. I
> didn't know then what it involved (thinking it was something like a super
> nail clip). I told her how sick and guilty I felt about it after it was
> done, when I found out just what I had done to my fur-baby. I told her that
> I still haven't forgiven that vet for not telling me what it involved before
> he did it, and I still haven't forgiven myself for not doing the research
> beforehand and it still makes me literally sick to my stomach to think about
> it.
>
> She called me up last night to tell me that the male was having problems,
> shaking his paw. I couldn't figure out why being neutered should affect his
> paws until she told me she had them declawed at the same time, even after
> all I'd told her.
>
> I lost it and told her again, explicitly, just exactly what she had done to
> her cats and *WHY* they were still in pain even after a month. I said that
> since I'd told her all this over and over *BEFORE* she had it done, she
> didn't even have the excuse of ignorance, just insensitivity, selfishness,
> and cruelty.
>
> She started whining that I shouldn't try to make her feel guilty about it
> because her leather furniture had been ruined by the cats and someone had
> given her a like-new leather sofa so she "had"* to declaw the cats, she
> didn't have a choice. I told her that I didn't want to hear it because,
> cats (or any living creature) mean more to me than some inanimate object.
>
> I did get her to promise to spend the money to take them back to the vet to
> check on regrowth/ingrown claws - I told her that it's possible the vet
> botched the job (she said he was the best vet in town, highly recommended -
> I told her good vets don't declaw cats). What's really depressing me is
> that I *KNOW* she's going to "get rid of" the cats as soon as they start
> biting or having litter box problems.
>
> We ended the conversation when she hung up on me. And to tell the truth, I
> feel worse about what her cats are going through than having ended a 45 year
> friendship. I'm just glad I have friends here who understand why that is.
>
> --
>
> Hugs,
>
> CatNipped

You shouldn't feel bad, because there was nothing else you could do.
You can't really compromise your principles for the sake of friendship,
not principles that you feel so strongly about.
My daughter homed a foster kitten with her mother-in-law, who actually
signed the no-declaw/spay contract. She declawed the kitten anyway. She
reacted like you did.

Sherry

.

Relevant Pages

  • Re: My Fight With a Friend Last Night [Not OT]
    ... >> I may have ended a 45 year friendship last night. ... >> A while back, she adopted two cats, a male and a female. ... >> grisly details of what declawing entails and told her that most civilized ... >> I did get her to promise to spend the money to take them back to the vet ...
    (rec.pets.cats.anecdotes)
  • Re: My Fight With a Friend Last Night [Not OT]
    ... >I may have ended a 45 year friendship last night. ... > A while back, she adopted two cats, a male and a female. ... > civilized countries around the world have made declawing illegal because ... > that I still haven't forgiven that vet for not telling me what it involved ...
    (rec.pets.cats.anecdotes)
  • Re: My Fight With a Friend Last Night [Not OT]
    ... >I may have ended a 45 year friendship last night. ... > A while back, she adopted two cats, a male and a female. ... > civilized countries around the world have made declawing illegal because ... > that I still haven't forgiven that vet for not telling me what it involved ...
    (rec.pets.cats.anecdotes)
  • Re: My Fight With a Friend Last Night [Not OT]
    ... A while back, she adopted two cats, a male and a female. ... countries around the world have made declawing illegal because it's so cruel ... I still haven't forgiven that vet for not telling me what it involved before ... You can't really compromise your principles for the sake of friendship, ...
    (rec.pets.cats.anecdotes)
  • Re: My Fight With a Friend Last Night [Not OT]
    ... she should know that just cause someone say's a vet is ... > I may have ended a 45 year friendship last night. ... > A while back, she adopted two cats, a male and a female. ... > grisly details of what declawing entails and told her that most civilized ...
    (rec.pets.cats.anecdotes)
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