Re: My Fight With a Friend Last Night [Not OT]
- From: "CatNipped" <lcrews@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Tue, 3 Jan 2006 14:45:18 -0600
<sriddles@xxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:1136320409.170624.159640@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
>
> CatNipped wrote:
>> I may have ended a 45 year friendship last night. I'm talking about a
>> woman
>> who has been my best friend since the 5th grade - we've been through
>> *everything* together. She lives in Mandeville, LA now, and I live in
>> Houston, TX, but until I moved to Houston in 1991 we were inseparable.
>>
>> I always knew she wasn't a cat person - not even a pet person. Her
>> interests are just in people not animals (so maybe she should have known
>> enough about me to know what my reactions would be before she dropped the
>> bombshell she did last night!!?).
>>
>> A while back, she adopted two cats, a male and a female. First of all,
>> she
>> didn't get them fixed right away (even turned down my offer of the money
>> to
>> have them fixed), so naturally she ended up with a pregnant cat. She
>> refused to have the cat aborted/spayed, so I gritted my teeth and helped
>> her
>> get through how to care for a pregnant queen and told her how to find
>> *good*
>> slaves for the kittens.
>>
>> At around that same time, she mentioned saving up the money to get them
>> fixed and *have them declawed*. I spent an hour and a half on the phone
>> telling her why she shouldn't have them declawed and giving her realistic
>> alternatives. We had several phone conversations after that with me
>> reiterating the reasons why cats shouldn't be declawed. I gave her all
>> the
>> grisly details of what declawing entails and told her that most civilized
>> countries around the world have made declawing illegal because it's so
>> cruel
>> and barbaric.
>>
>> I had a cat declawed many years ago when a landlord told me I had to. I
>> didn't know then what it involved (thinking it was something like a super
>> nail clip). I told her how sick and guilty I felt about it after it was
>> done, when I found out just what I had done to my fur-baby. I told her
>> that
>> I still haven't forgiven that vet for not telling me what it involved
>> before
>> he did it, and I still haven't forgiven myself for not doing the research
>> beforehand and it still makes me literally sick to my stomach to think
>> about
>> it.
>>
>> She called me up last night to tell me that the male was having problems,
>> shaking his paw. I couldn't figure out why being neutered should affect
>> his
>> paws until she told me she had them declawed at the same time, even after
>> all I'd told her.
>>
>> I lost it and told her again, explicitly, just exactly what she had done
>> to
>> her cats and *WHY* they were still in pain even after a month. I said
>> that
>> since I'd told her all this over and over *BEFORE* she had it done, she
>> didn't even have the excuse of ignorance, just insensitivity,
>> selfishness,
>> and cruelty.
>>
>> She started whining that I shouldn't try to make her feel guilty about it
>> because her leather furniture had been ruined by the cats and someone had
>> given her a like-new leather sofa so she "had"* to declaw the cats, she
>> didn't have a choice. I told her that I didn't want to hear it because,
>> cats (or any living creature) mean more to me than some inanimate
>> object.
>>
>> I did get her to promise to spend the money to take them back to the vet
>> to
>> check on regrowth/ingrown claws - I told her that it's possible the vet
>> botched the job (she said he was the best vet in town, highly
>> recommended -
>> I told her good vets don't declaw cats). What's really depressing me is
>> that I *KNOW* she's going to "get rid of" the cats as soon as they start
>> biting or having litter box problems.
>>
>> We ended the conversation when she hung up on me. And to tell the truth,
>> I
>> feel worse about what her cats are going through than having ended a 45
>> year
>> friendship. I'm just glad I have friends here who understand why that
>> is.
>>
>> --
>>
>> Hugs,
>>
>> CatNipped
>
> You shouldn't feel bad, because there was nothing else you could do.
> You can't really compromise your principles for the sake of friendship,
> not principles that you feel so strongly about.
> My daughter homed a foster kitten with her mother-in-law, who actually
> signed the no-declaw/spay contract. She declawed the kitten anyway. She
> reacted like you did.
>
> Sherry
You're right. What's surprising to me is how *NOT* bad I feel about ending
the friendship! What I'm feeling really badly about is how those poor cats
must be feeling.
What's pissed me off so bad is that I told her beforehand, in detail, what a
horrible mutilation this is since cats walk on their claws - that this in
fact will end up crippling them with arthritis - and she still chose to do
that rather than using one of the other dozen alternatives I gave her.
You know what's even worse? She's a nurse! She kept saying, "It's been a
month, they should be over this by now." I told her that declawing is
equivalent to cutting off a person's fingertips at the first knuckle and
forcing that person to constantly support their weight with the stubs
despite the pain - did she really think it would be all better this soon???!
And she makes them jump up to the dryer in order to eat!!!?????!!!!
ARGH! With "friends" like this....
--
Hugs,
CatNipped
See all my masters at: http://www.PossiblePlaces.com/CatNipped/
.
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