Re: Bach Aristocrat Bb Flugelhorn

"What do you do when you're cyberstalked, taunted or abused online?
By Lisa Stone, 2:11 pm, Tue 31 Oct 2006



We need to have a talk. There's a reality of online life that some of
us are suffering through by ourselves, a completely normal but painful
experience that every woman I've ever met who goes online has had --
and that plenty of men have had too.

I'm talking about the lovely experience of encountering Internet
trolls. And for me, it all boils down to this...

Sometimes people are mean in this virtual Web world. Really mean.

And it's my opinion that there's only one solution: Ignore them.

That's the most powerful thing you can do.

I'm saying shun them, like the Amish, as a friend recently recommended
to me via email. This is our virtual world -- we created it. The most
powerful thing we can do when we encounter a person who is abusive
online is to refuse to acknowledge them. Deprived of the spotlight,
their own hateful little lights will blink out.

Buh-bye!

Don't link them, don't talk about them, don't read them. As far as
we're concerned, they don't exist. And amongst ourselves, I think it's
time to bring the issue out of the closet, demystify it, circle our
wagons and learn to roll our eyes about it together, even laugh at it.
Who cares?

I can imagine some of your faces -- you're thinking that I don't
understand. You're wrong. I already know how hard it is and I do
understand. Believez-moi.

If you're lucky, you may not yet have learned that people exist who
will use the Internet to come to our blogs or sites and belittle us,
call our names and poke fun at us, our beliefs, our races, our
religions, the fact that we are women or men or other, perhaps even
our kids or our dogs or our sans-serif fonts, for crying out loud. In
fact, if we have the nerve to be female, especially someone who is not
white, we will attract more mean, hate-filled people than folks who
are not female and white. Some of these people even (inexplicably)
have enough time and interest in us to start their own blogs and sites
to showcase their abuse of us.

Ridiculous, isn't it? You may wonder to yourself, how is it that there
can be a war on in Iraq, children starving on the streets of every
nation on this rock and the unfolding horror that is Darfur -- and
some people have time to spend hours bullying other people online?

Here's how: It's not about us. It's about them. That's why ignoring
trolls works.

Please read that last sentence again? Now print it, cut it out, chew
it up and swallow it. This is my mantra: It's. Not. About. Me. That's
why I refuse to play.

Here's a little perspective that helped me: As Timothy Campbell, who
wrote this great article for AOL users in 2001, said: "Trolls crave
attention, and they care not whether it is positive or negative. They
see the Internet as a mirror into which they can gaze in narcissistic
rapture. If you want a deeper analysis than that, perhaps a
psychologist can shed some additional light on the matter."

In order to take our revenge, our best bet is "don't respond, don't
interact and don't engage," recommends the UK National Workplace
Bullying Advice Line:

"Many serial bullies are also serial attention-seekers. More than
anything else they want attention. It doesn't matter what type of
attention they get, positive or negative, as long as they can provoke
someone into paying them attention. It's like a 2-year-old child
throwing a tantrum to get attention from a parent. The best way to
treat bullies is to refuse to respond and to refuse to engage them -
which they really hate. In other words, do not reply to their
postings, and on forums carry on posting without reference to their
postings as if they didn't exist. In other words, treat nobodies as
nobodies."

Gina Trapani of Lifehacker puts it yet another way:

"But when YOU are the target of an insulting post or sharply-worded
email, quite frankly, it can really suck. Today I've got some
strategies for dealing with Internet Meanies: those faceless virtual
bullies who take pleasure in shooting other people down from the
safety of their keyboards....It's easy to take out frustrations on
someone online because they don't quite feel real. Talking smack puts
people in a position of power, one they want to be in because they
feel small and weak in other areas of their lives. The key words here
are "small" and "weak." "

Today, fortunately, the law and corporate policies have evolved to the
point where we can take action in certain circumstances.
Specifically:

Currently there are 45 cyberstalking (and related) U.S. federal and
state laws on the books, as well as laws in U.K. and India. Read about
them here at Jayne Hitch***'s site, Working to Halt Online Abuse
(WHOA): http://www.haltabuse.org/resources/laws/index.shtml
If you need information on child-related laws, WHOA suggests you visit
Safetyed
Get their IP addresses from your logs and ban them from your blog.
That's what Jenna Hatfield did. She writes:

"what do you do when mocking, name-calling, insulting, ignoring and
cussing don't work? What do you do when you've got a persistent little
bugger that annoys the bejeebus out of you, sucks up your bandwidth,
steals photos and takes things out of context to their own personal
spaces? I wasn't sure this morning. I now know how!"

Check out Jenna's post to ban IP addresses if you host your own site.
Here's how to ban an IP address on: Typepad, WordPress (Update: see
Sassy's comments below about taking care with this host), Movable Type
and Blogger (I don't know for certain about this last link, but it's
the best I could find)

So - there you have it. That's my approach to online life.

What do you think?

Image credit: Family Living, Hatfield Style

Lisa Stone
BlogHer Co-founder
Surfette



permalink | Lisa Stone's blog | | | |

Does this apply
Comment by shelleyp posted Tue, 2006/10/31 - 3:01pm
To Blogher's own editors?



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Sorry, don't understand the question?
Comment by Lisa Stone posted Tue, 2006/10/31 - 3:22pm
Lisa Stone
BlogHer Co-founder
Surfette



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It's difficult to define
Comment by shelleyp posted Wed, 2006/11/01 - 6:34am
It's difficult to define what is 'troll' behavior. Some of the people
who replied mention physical threats and that's traditionally not the
behavior of a troll.

Some would say that just disagreeing, or disagreeing passionately with
the author is being a troll. For instance, looking at some A listers,
Mike Arrington considers anyone who doesn't agree with him to be a
troll. Scoble, on the other hand, seems to welcome those cricial. But
then I'm biased (she says, tongue in cheek after recent discussions).

Others would say you have to get personal, but when we're discussing
something such as embryonic stem cell research, it does get personal.
Not to say discussions should be reduced to, "You're a doo doo head",
but people are going to feel strongly on the issue and write
accordingly. Is this trolling? Or debate?

The author themselves can be a troll, by wording a post in such a way
to generate an acrimonious debate. I guess we can ignore such, as
authors can ignore commenters.



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Trolls are hard to ignore...
Comment by Annie Dennison posted Tue, 2006/10/31 - 3:04pm
You are SO right, but it's hard sometimes not to fight back when
someone is being just plain malicious.

I try to remind myself that when I get "trolled" online, the beauty of
the Internet is that it's like a vast ocean. With all that new content
replacing the old each day, bad things seem to "wash away" with the
tide, and readers (mainly...) soon forget.

Well, they forget if we ignore the trolling in the first place!

Annie
www.SmartatLove.com



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That's where your email posse comes in!
Comment by Lisa Stone posted Tue, 2006/10/31 - 3:23pm
Great metaphor, the tide...

Lisa Stone
BlogHer Co-founder
Surfette



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While not verbally "troll-ey"
Comment by debra roby posted Tue, 2006/10/31 - 3:19pm
While not verbally "troll-ey" (is that a word??), I love Deb
Lacativa's reaction to "sweet young things on MySpace" who linked to
her photos and stole her bandwidth.

You can read about her sweet revenge plans here.

Warning: Do NOT click over with food or liquids in your mouth.

Debra
A Stitch In Time
Deb's Daily Distractions



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Just a note...
Comment by sassymonkey posted Tue, 2006/10/31 - 3:21pm
You cannot currently ban IP addresses on free wordpress.com blogs.
There are ways to blacklist posts that contain certain words, etc but
you have to be careful applying them in case you ban actual comments.

Sassymonkey, Sassymonkey Reads, and Sassymonkey Eats



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Thanks Sassy
Comment by Lisa Stone posted Tue, 2006/10/31 - 3:24pm
I'll amend the post!

Lisa Stone
BlogHer Co-founder
Surfette



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I'm pretty lucky in that I
Comment by kperfetto posted Tue, 2006/10/31 - 3:28pm
I'm pretty lucky in that I haven't had to deal with too much on my own
site, just some banal, childish crap. I've noticed it more on some of
message boards I've been on (not here, thankfully). At least one
person has been holding a grudge against me for a couple years, and
has said some pretty cruel, unnecessary things. I'd rather not get
into a fight and have myself removed from the forum, so I try to let
it go. It's like there's this bravado that comes from hiding behind a
computer screen. In my experience, people remember their manners when
they're standing three feet away from you, plus online discussions can
get completely blown out of proportion. It's very junior high at
times.
Five Dollar Camera



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Anonymous bravado
Comment by Lisa Stone posted Tue, 2006/10/31 - 8:48pm
A nice oxymoron. You put it well into perspective, kperfetto.

Lisa Stone
BlogHer Co-founder
Surfette



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I have been very, very lucky
Comment by laurie posted Tue, 2006/10/31 - 4:24pm
I have been very, very lucky so far and have yet to fall victim to
anything worse than internet spamming. I can only imagine how icky it
feels to have someone abusive invade your space in the way some of you
describe.

I think one thing we do owe each other is to make sure and applaud
each other's successes and write about the good we find on the web. I
try and link to the sites that I find interesting and acknowledge the
good, smart writing (especially women's writing) that I find.

I have only recently found BlogHer and I love that this space exists.
I don't always agree with what I find here but most posts are
thoughtful, interesting and beautifully written.

To hell with the trolls. We are better than they are.

laurie
www.notjustaboutcancer.blogspot.com



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Laurie, how can one troll banish ten positive comments?
Comment by Lisa Stone posted Tue, 2006/10/31 - 9:15pm
Your comment about acknowledging good, smart writing really caught
me:

"I try and link to the sites that I find interesting and acknowledge
the good, smart writing (especially women's writing) that I find."

A thousand years of good karma to you! Now can you answer me this: Why
is it that so many bloggers I speak with can get ten, 20 or even 30
wonderful comments and the lone stinger from an anonymous coward
outweighs all the others?

I regularly see that reaction. Hopefully by supporting good writing we
see online -- and creating a forum with each other here -- we can help
put this behavior in perspective and keep writing, keep typing like
hell.

Lisa Stone
BlogHer Co-founder
Surfette



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I've had my tussles with
Comment by HerBadMother posted Tue, 2006/10/31 - 5:08pm
I've had my tussles with trolls - I prefer to call them blogtards, but
that's just me.

I'm actually of two minds about this. I agree that ignoring them is
the most powerful response, because it deprives them of their very
oxygen - attention. BUT - sometimes it's just too much to pretend that
it didn't happen. Because sometimes, it hurts.

I once responded to a blogtard, albeit indirectly - it was a
particularly pissy blogtard who actually started her own blog to
protest me and what she saw as the cult-like comportment of my
readers, all of whom she understood to be 'Kool Aid moms,' and
characteristic of mommy-bloggers generally. I ignored her, dutifully,
until I received word that she was running a contest to find the Worst
Kool Aid Mom Ever - title to be awarded on Mothers' Day. This struck
me as pure, hurtful evil, so I struck back by holding my own 'contest'
- the Great Mommy Blogger Love In, which provoked a huge outpouring of
love and solidarity. I didn't link her, I didn't mention her blog
name, but I did make it clear on my own blog that I was responding to
hate with love.

I NEEDED to act, to cleanse my psyche of all the ick and yuck that was
being splattered around by this blogtard - I couldn't just leave it
alone. And I'm glad that I didn't, for my own sanity, and for my
heart.

Her Bad Mother



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Bravo HBM!
Comment by Lisa Stone posted Tue, 2006/10/31 - 9:18pm
What better response than positive action?

And "blogtard" is infinitely better than "troll" for our purposes.
Time for a wikipedia entry?

Lisa Stone
BlogHer Co-founder
Surfette



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rise above
Comment by MommaK posted Tue, 2006/10/31 - 5:55pm
I've had a few tussles with trolls but all in all I've been very
lucky. I'm also lucky that I'm in with a good community of friends
that don't put up with any nastiness - myself included.

Great topic, Lisa!

MommaK
Link TextPetroville
Link TextBloggy Gossip



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Great post, Lisa. I've also
Comment by Mamalogues posted Tue, 2006/10/31 - 7:47pm
Great post, Lisa.
I've also been fortunate in that I haven't been trolled to the extent
of some others, though I do get enough snide comments and e-mails to
keep me from feeling left out. Fortunately, I have a pretty thick skin
- which I credit to doing investigative journalism, where most
EVERYONE hates you - but every now and then I have to wrestle the urge
to bite back.

Dana
Mamalogues.com
In the St. Louis Post-Dispatch
Pop Mama
Since Eve



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My children were threatened in the last week
Comment by Karen Rani posted Tue, 2006/10/31 - 7:50pm
So what I did was fairly drastic. I don't know if it was right or
wrong, but my site is a mess as a result. I panicked. I disabled all
the pictures, hid my Flickr account from the public and deleted a
number of posts.

I'm angry, I'm upset, and I'm going to use alot of precaution in
future. Say what you want about me, but my kids should be off limits
to serious threats and vile critisism. I have readers emailing me left
right and centre, and so I'm torn about whether to blog about it. My
instincts say no. Not more than I have already.

The person(s) that threatened my kids have gotten the best of me. I
have no idea if I'll get that back. I've always said that if blogging
ever becomes a chore, I'll quit.

I'm hurting, and I suppose I'm doing too good of a job hiding it. I'm
teetering on the edge of internet - wondering whether to just
disappear, or stick it out.

Karen

--
Troll Baby

Motherless

Troll Baby Graphics



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Keep writing, by all means
Comment by Lisa Stone posted Tue, 2006/10/31 - 9:39pm
and if walling off your photos and certain subjects makes this
possible, so be it. Retain your privacy and security - but don't be
muzzled. Your stories are too important, Karen.

Lisa Stone
BlogHer Co-founder
Surfette



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Agree - but aren't we discussing it?
Comment by Dorothy posted Tue, 2006/10/31 - 8:09pm
Lisa - I do agree that we should ignore. I thought about it a lot with
regard to what's happened this week with Sweetney, Dooce and Joy
Unexpected. I've met each of these women in person or via other
projects, and they are all nice people. They don't deserve such an
attack.

I've had trolls - bad trolls - before, but my trolls did not post
online. They went after me in the real world. Fortunately for me, it
didn't end up hurting me the way one in particular wanted it to hurt
me, but then again, she didn't make fun of me publicly, either. She
just tried to get me fired.

Writing about trolls here is not ignoring them, either, but maybe we
shouldn't, not completely. Of course, shunning is not the same as
ignoring, not in the way you suggest. Shunning is overtly avoiding,
seeing, acknowledging we see, and then not responding.

We should reassure each other that we should not let trolls stop us
from connecting. What bloggers do is offer someone to talk to when
you're up or you're down, someone who's been through something similar
to your experience even if you don't have any friends locally that are
going through whatever hard thing you are going through at a
particular time. Writing about it helps, and hearing from others who
have been through it helps. Reading blogs of other people who have
been through it helps. So no, we shouldn't stop because someone wants
to say something mean or hurtful.

But it will hurt, it does hurt, when someone makes fun of us. In some
ways, we never do get past middle school ourselves. We all want to be
liked, and there is nothing dorky or stupid about wanting to be liked.
It is human. We are social beings.

At the same time, if you blog professionally (and by that I mean
running ads), in some ways your blog is your job. While people aren't
always overtly mean at work, they do stab you in the back, try to
steal your ideas and try to form coalitions against you. (Or maybe
that's just been my career.) What do you do? You call all your best
girlfriends together, stab stickpins in a personal, private voodoo
doll, and be civil when you see your sworn enemy in the restroom. If
you let her see you sweat, then she knows that she got through.
Perhaps I've spent too much time in corporate America, but I think
there's some translation here.

Writers, artists, creative people are criticized. Their performances
are ripped apart. It's part of the territory. Just because our blogs
are personal does not mean they're not creative works. This is why I
agree with you that shunning is probably the right thing to do. Shun,
and write well.

Because as M. Kennedy always says, writing well is the best revenge.

Surrender, Dorothy - When I was your age, we just let them ride in the
back window.



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Yes, we are discussing it...
Comment by Lisa Stone posted Tue, 2006/10/31 - 9:52pm
And for exactly this reason:

"Writers, artists, creative people are criticized. Their performances
are ripped apart. It's part of the territory. Just because our blogs
are personal does not mean they're not creative works. This is why I
agree with you that shunning is probably the right thing to do. Shun,
and write well. Because as M. Kennedy always says, writing well is the
best revenge."

You are absolutely right Dorothy -- this post cracks the shunning
model. I thought long and hard about writing it, and only did so
because I think refusing to feed the trolls is an important, proactive
response to this kind of behavior -- but it's hard to do without
support. Hopefully reading responses like yours will help people stick
to their silence and move on.

And what a story you have -- a stand-out among those I've heard.
Nicely handled -- after all that, you're still there!

Lisa Stone
BlogHer Co-founder
Surfette



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Trolls are like Children
Comment by Girls Gone Child posted Tue, 2006/10/31 - 8:10pm
When anyone acts a fool (and I pity the fool) I usually treat them
like I do my own child or the children I work with.

"You hate me? Well... I LOOOOOVE you!"

Showering assholes with love and "thank you so much for your opinion!"
usually throws them off and they don't come back.

And then I delete the comment, days later. So far (over the course of
blogging for four years) this has worked like a charm. Every. Time.



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MOM, is that you?
Comment by Lisa Stone posted Tue, 2006/10/31 - 9:43pm
Not really kidding... Thanks.

Lisa Stone
BlogHer Co-founder
Surfette



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The blogger script doesn't work....:( :(
Comment by AmandaM posted Tue, 2006/10/31 - 11:17pm
I would SO love to block a certain stalking IP from my blog. It got so
bad that I stopped posting recently, hoping she'd get bored and get
out of the habit of checking compulsively on my blog. (I do know who
she is, pieced it together and checked in with a website admin. to
confirm. Maybe she doesn't realize that I can "see" her every click?
And that I know that the anonymous comments are hers? It's not rocket
science...geesh...)

I use blogger, so I clicked on the link you provided and read all the
way through to the end. The conversation there wraps up with this:

"I guess the instructions for this script aren't very good. I did
mention in the first post that it had to interact with the server, but
didn't explain what this meant. ...the script must be on an SSI page.
In most cases this would be a .shtml page. The only way to do this
with a blogspot blog is if you put the pages on a server with another
isp. This would allow you to rename the index file to index.shtml.
There isn't really any alternative method to block ip addresses. If
you are on your own hosting you can do the same with a .htaccess file,
which would be a better solution than using a script."

If anyone finds a blogger hack to block IPs, please let me know!

- Amanda M
Imagine Bright Futures



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IP Banning
Comment by kperfetto posted Wed, 2006/11/01 - 9:35am
something I hope I never have to do. I have the same problem: the blog
stalker. In my case, unless she actually comes out of stalker mode
trolls up the joint, she can lurk all she wants. Besides, when you ban
an IP address, you're not just banning that one person, right? What if
she logs in from work? Or her local library? And what about those IP
addresses that change with every log in?

Five Dollar Camera



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Re: IP Banning
Comment by bobafifi posted Wed, 2006/11/01 - 3:14am
Besides, when you ban an IP address,
you're not just banning that one person, right?

Depends. If they're on a DSL or cable modem connection, chances are
that they've got a static IP. In that case you can block the
connection by IP (using .htaccess). However, there's a well known
company (AOL) that uses a handful of IP addresses for it's gazillion
customers. Best to do an IP check to see who owns it before
blocking! ;-)

What if she logs in from work? Or her local library?

Yup - that's a problem, though there might be some recourse by
contacting the employer or the library.

And what about those IP addresses that change with every log in?

If the dynamic IP in question is from a network you don't think
anybody but her is using to access your site, you can block the range
of the IP by lopping off the last quadrant of the address. For
example, if the IP is 12.34.56.78 you'd block 12.34.56. (don't forget
the period!)

Hope that helps,

-Bob
bobafifi.com
usedviolins.com
fluteplayer.net



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This is extremely helpful.
Comment by CityMama posted Wed, 2006/11/01 - 12:32pm
Thanks for posting this information. (This could be a new post in
itself "How to block trolls"...)

Stefania Pomponi Butler
Contributing Editor, Arts & Entertainment, BlogHer

I blog:
CityMama
Kimchi Mamas
Family F



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Great points on trolls
Comment by media girl posted Wed, 2006/11/01 - 7:18pm
I emphatically agree: ignore them, if you can.

We've had our share of trolls, which is to be expected on an
opinionated, political, feminist community site. They've almost all
been MRAs (men's rights activists). (If you don't know about them,
consider yourself blessed.) Often they would start off pretending to
be reasonable, but as you engaged them in discussion, they would
ignore your points and focus on irrelevancies, and work hard to steer
the discussion into their manufactured controversies.

When they would get personal, I would block them. Offensive ad hominem
posts often get deleted.

One thing I've done is use the spam filter. Since the trolls have
tended to use the same tired talking points, the spam filter "learns"
how to identify them, so even if they used different IPs, different
email contacts, different names, their posts would get caught. Seeing
how their trapped posts would get more and more angry with
frustration, I figured that was probably the best way to deal with
them: take away their voice.

--
media girl



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How to care for your new troll!
Comment by Jenn Satterwhite posted Thu, 2006/11/02 - 4:51pm
New to having a troll? In light of all of the frenzy, maybe a light
bit of tongue in cheek humor on how to handle your new troll can
lighten it up a bit and take away some of this new person's power.

Who me? A smart alec? Nevah!

~Jenn~
Mommy Needs Coffee | Mommybloggers
Aggroqueen



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Requires Discernment, All tollers are not the same
Comment by Nordette posted Thu, 2006/11/09 - 10:50am
Usually I ignore them; however, there are some people who seem to
assume you're afraid and so escalate situations when they realize
they're being ignored. At this point, I usually tell them what I think
of them, let them know that I will not give them public coverage in
anyway, (No Hope for link!; so many seem to be after attention as in
hoping I'll speak of them in a blog post or something), and then I
stick to my guns.

I got quite a few trollers after I wrote about Sheriff Jack Strain
down in Slidell, La., and his comments on people from New Orleans,
meaning black people, and people who wear dreadlocks. Despite his
defense later that he spoke of the actual criminals in a particular
case, many who saw the video could see he spoke of black people from
New Orleans in general. Some of his supporters were quite nasty. One
in particular made it a point to attack my literary work, which had
nothing to do with the Jack Strain issue. Once I let him know
privately that I would never respond publicly to his nonsense and that
I would no longer answer privately, and equally important, I'd never
allow his comments to post on any of my sites. He moved on.

After dealing with my ex who for a time watched everything I did
online, I invested in some serious statistics programs that picked up
IP addresses. Unless you're dealing with a genuinely dangerous,
devious person, most trollers stop when they realize you know their
IPs, which is how I nipped a lot of nastiness in the bud during the
Jack Strain thing. I responded to a few of the meaner anonymous
commenters who returned calling themselves by different names by
posting the their IP addresses and their locations. I guess the
redistribution in power unnerved them. If you're trying to be nasty
with a *** over your head, but realize I see through the ***, then
game over.

My ex chilled out after my attorney made it clear he would bring the
behavior to the attention of law enforcement and once he realized I
even knew it was him when he'd stop at a computer kiosk in airports
before he went to his apartment just to check on me. I'm not sure what
that was about since he was usually on his way back from visiting his
girlfriend in California, but since I'd been told this type of
behavior in a former spouse or lover can be a precursor to them doing
you bodily harm, I didn't take it lightly.

I'm not sure he ever understood that I simply recognized his IP when I
saw it or I recognized his patterns when he used someone else's pc. In
that instance, ignoring him was not the option. I'd write about the
"stalking" because I wasn't speaking to him during the divorce. I
think it helped him to see that those who commented found his behavior
abusive and usually gave me advice on how to press charges.
Significant-other stalking is probably not what you're talking about
though.

There was a woman I should've ignored, but didn't. She began copying
whatever I did as though we were in some kind of competition that no
one told me about. If she read I was doing a certain thing, then she
would try to do something similar and beat me to it. She also started
a campaign against me on a site that where she thought she should be
the only "star." Spooky. I let her know I was aware of what she was
doing, and her response was to start a special blog to say mean things
about me. That's when I realized it was best to ignore her completely.
If her imitation had been genuinely due to admiration, no problem.
Clearly, the imitation was prompted by something else. This happend
several years ago. Today, my first line of action is no action as in
ignore the troller.

I don't care if people follow me around and do it often. That's a fan
base. It only bugs me when I know they mean me harm.

But you're right. Ignoring them should be our first instinct. And
having the reputation of not tolerating nonsense helps as well. I
ended up posting this piece a while back, My Definition of a Stalker
and noticed some of the spookier people stopped following me around.
Maybe they didn't realize their actions were strange. I need to add
that AOL quote you used.

Uh, I think I responded to something you wrote yesterday. LOL. Er, I'm
not following you. I'm trying to figure out Blogher. You must've hit
on something that intrigued me again. *smiles*

"Love is liquid. Be drunkards!" ~~Nordette



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Strategies from online teaching
Comment by mcmilker posted Tue, 2006/11/21 - 6:34am
This has been a great read for me. I have not been struck by Internet
Trolls yet, but I await them trembling. I have however taught online
for 6 years and think; IMHO, perhaps some of the strategies that work
there might also work for trolls.

I agree ignoring them can be an effective strategy. I have also found
though that responding with kindness and agreement helps too. Just
today, I watched a blogger from a fairly large blog, respond to a
comment about poor writing on the site, with a snap that, more or
less, said, " quit complaining; if you don't like it; don't read it",
Yikes!

My response would have been. "I'm glad you brought that up! I know my
writing is not always the best. I have something to say, but don't
always say it well :-) This is a skill on which I am working, as most
of we bloggers are! I'd love it if you had some resources to share
with me to improve writing!"

This type of response, I believe works particularly well with women -
but also some men. From years of averting "flame wars" in the online
classroom...this is my best strategy...oh, yes, I agree...ignore and delete
is a great option if option A doesn't work!

MC Milker



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Scary Post
Comment by teritith posted Fri, 2007/03/30 - 6:29am
"Blogtards", I love it. We have so much fun with our new blogging
lexicon!

Seriously, a 4,000-word post scared me so much that I decided to close
my personal blog and go underground to create a private one for family
and friends - by invitation only. I plan to follow the links you
provide here to report this individual's suspicious post to
authorities. I did report the incident to Blogger.com, but they took a
week just to send me a cookie-cutter reply. Now, I realize they are
not the right recipient of the notice. To put it mildly, this post
read like it was written by the next Unibomber. Very scary
pontificating, slurring almost everyone, from lesbians to blacks. Very
narcissistic. Even worse, it didn't have anything to do with my
original post! This made me think that this attention-freak was
posting this all over the Internet and some authority should be
alerted. What a blogtard.

I'd like to know if anyone else had seen something like this?

I had been thinking about letting go of my personal blog for a while
so I can focus on my more professional blog. It's not monetized, I
just take it more seriously. I even have a proofreader.

I thought this more controversial, topical blog would potentially draw
the ire, so upon launch I put carefully worded Ground Rules up in the
sidebar to spell out fair play. I think that really worked. I recently
modified those ground rules to simply say "keep it clean, not mean". I
didn't think I had to spell out that if they don't, their comment will
simply be deleted. I have only had to do that twice in two years of
blogging. I hate to do that because it's all about the dialogue.

This experience has also prompted me to get a PO box so that I can
change my domain registration and still have my home address unknown.
I also will be using this on my checks going forward. I am sure there
will be other uses. A small box only costs $40 per anum in my town and
is well worth the extra protection.

Lisa,
Thanks for this post and the links. Very topical.

Teri Tith
Childfree Blogger & Founder
Purple Women & Friends
www.PurpleWomen.org
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