Re: New song for comment "Oblivion"
- From: "D.J.B." <djb_at_studio-b-music_dot_com>
- Date: Tue, 20 Dec 2005 20:53:18 +0100
Mike
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Regarding "other instruments"... After a long day where
everything was already set-up for recording - we took
another 1 minute 20 seconds to record this doodle - the
opening four chords - just repeated in slightly different
styles.....
http://tinyurl.com/c8adz
I am not suggesting that you turn your song into a 6/8 waltz,
but you see how different any song can sound? It's all down
to instruments and arrangement:
The doodle.mp3 will stay on-site until the end of this week...
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Doug
--
http://studio-b-music.com
http://studio-b-music.nl
http://nederpop.nu
"Mike Azzopardi" <mikeazzo22@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:hfCpf.1953$Nl4.1329@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
> Hi DJB
>
> Thanks for taking the time to comment. I really appreciate it. I'm hearing
> ya all ears on the lyrics. The first half is from 7 years ago and is
> quite an immature write. Back then I thought writing things to be
> ambiguous was good so the different listeners can relate to it in
> different ways. I have since learned confusion and misinterpretation is
> bad for the listener.
>
> Thanks for the tips on the instruments. When I get a chance I will
> rerecord with a click, like I am doing with all my tracks so I will try
> that direction for sure.
>
> Best Regards
> Mike
>
> http://www.soundclick.com/bluemenagerie
> http://www.bluemenagerie.co.uk
> "We are the music makers, we are the dreamers of dreams"
>
> "D.J.B." <djb_at_studio-b-music_dot_com> wrote in message
> news:43a5714c$0$202$dbd41001@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
>> Mike
>> ------------------------------------------------------------------
>> "Oblivion"
>> ------------------------------------------------------------------
>> Well - over the weekend I've managed to listen to it quite a few
>> times now... (This is the second song in a month to leave me
>> thinking of "Needles and Pins" by The Searchers...... )
>>
>> The basically 6/8 timing is a little too free and wavering, but this is
>> common, with singers who record acoustic guitar and voice in one
>> pass. I am an advocate of strict-time. It's easier to listen to, and
>> much easier to add other instruments to....
>>
>> For some reason - with a song called "Oblivion" - you chose to
>> open the song with "People change....." which has no definite
>> meaning...
>>
>> Rod Stewart wrote "Wake up Maggie I think I got something to say
>> to you. It's late September and I really should be back at school" ...
>> Almost the whole theme in two sentences.......
>>
>> I never write lyrics: (I have done..) mainly because they always seem
>> too direct and I prefer to let people draw their own conclusions from
>> the music itself. However - I think that in this song, you do need to
>> put the listener into a way of thinking which is remote from the real,
>> direct world. You also have to be tight and concise: Your lines must,
>> if possible, not be subject to misinterpretation.....
>>
>> "People change, but I'm afraid of feeling the same way" This is quite
>> ambiguous: It could mean several things.. (Feeling the same way as
>> the changing-people? for example....)
>>
>> "Suddenly I'm in a crowd without a face" Has the crowd got no face
>> or have "I" got no face...?
>>
>> "Every time I see a rose, its blue with tears" Well - not all roses are
>> blue, and the purpose of this line is lost.....
>>
>> On the other hand "Reality and time has left this place" is good. This
>> says what it means.. and all the song has to do is explain "why"...
>> You need to hammer home this "Oblivion" theme....
>>
>> Summary: This has the makings of a good song: The lyrics need to
>> be engineered to convey a precise meaning. Guitar and bass don't
>> quite support this song adequately: I think it might call for grand-
>> piano, and a couple of violins......
>>
>> Sorry of this was a bit long: Your song was worth several listens,
>> and I would really like to hear it, all dressed up, with energetic
>> drums, piano, and maybe a string quartet, slightly better lyric-
>> phrasing and a good arrangement...
>>
>> Good Luck! - Keep Writing!
>> ------------------------------------------------------------------
>> DJB
>> --
>> http://studio-b-music.com
>> http://studio-b-music.nl
>> http://nederpop.nu
>>
>>
>>
>> "Mike Azzopardi" <mikeazzo22@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
>> news:u8%of.6803$q4.5009@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
>>> Hey folks
>>>
>>> My latest offering: The bass is pretty rough. but I wanted to get some
>>> comments on this song as it has a tempo change and is my first ever
>>> narrative kinda song. Feedback appreciated. Its still really in demo
>>> phase, but i was thinking that all of my tracks are so I'll post them on
>>> here anyway!
>>>
>>> Oblivion: http://www.soundclick.com/util/streamm3u.m3u?id=2029743&q=hi
>>>
>>> Best Regards
>>> Mike
>>>
>>> http://www.soundclick.com/bluemenagerie
>>> http://www.bluemenagerie.co.uk
>>> "We are the music makers, we are the dreamers of dreams"
>>>
>>> Oblivion
>>>
>>> People change, but I'm afraid of feeling the same way
>>> Suddenly I'm in a crowd without a face
>>> Reality and time has left this place
>>>
>>> Everytime I see a plane I think of love
>>> Taking off but can't remember if I should
>>> or even if my feet did touch the ground
>>>
>>> Chorus
>>> I wanna be a bird so I'll never fall again, into oblivion
>>> I wanna touch a star, look down on the earth and then, one day I will
>>> return
>>>
>>> I've become, I've become the man only the mirror sees
>>> The cracks have become scars for you and me
>>> and fate was never willing to believe
>>>
>>> Everytime I see a rose its blue with tears
>>> Forever has become the friend I fear
>>> how quickly all my moments become years
>>>
>>> Chorus
>>> I wanna be a bird so I'll never fall again, into oblivion
>>> I wanna touch a star,look down on the earth and then, one day I'll be
>>> reborn
>>>
>>> i was so desperate for your company
>>> that your ghost has spent all this time dining with me
>>> day after day, night after night
>>> i would look at your face knowing somethings not right
>>>
>>> each time i hear the wind i think of you
>>> i turn in a moment and feel so confused
>>> theres a time and a place, and the distance is here
>>> where immortal writers would lend me an ear
>>>
>>> this notebook of memories page after page
>>> is left here to crumble and won't rearrange
>>> into something where I can read between the lines
>>> to half figure out what is so hard to find
>>>
>>> we were the music makers or so it seemed
>>> now we are dreamers of forgotten dreams
>>> i could not save the words which now are gone
>>> i was too late and your spirit lives on
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>
>>
>>
>
>
.
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