Re: Dear Abby

On Mon, 11 Jun 2007 17:10:35 -0500, Ken Cashion <kcashion@xxxxxxxxxxx>
wrote:

On Mon, 11 Jun 2007 14:19:08 -0700, Greg Thomas
<gjthomas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:

Saw this over on the jazz guitar group

Dear Abby,

I have never written to you before, but I really need your advice. I
think my wife is cheating on me. I am a musician and travel
sometimes.
When I come home things are not like they used to be. It's very
awkward.


The usual signs, her cell phone rings and she steps outside or says
call
me later. When I ask her who called she gets evasive. Sometimes she
goes out with her friends but comes home late, getting dropped off
around the corner and walking the rest of the way home. I never see
who
brings her home. I once picked up the extension phone while she was
on
the phone. She got angry and accused me of all kinds of things.


Anyway, I just did not have the courage to come right out and ask her
if
she was cheating on me.


A buddy of mine plays guitar in a band. He told me that my wife and
some
guy show up at their gigs. He wanted to borrow my amp, and that's when
I
got the idea to find out for myself. I said, sure, you can use my
amp
but I want to hide behind it and see if she comes in to the club and
with who. He agreed.


Saturday night came. I slipped behind my Marshall JCM800 half stack
to
get a good view of the club. I could feel the heat coming off the
back
of the amp. It was at that moment, crouching down, when I noticed one
of
the power tubes was not glowing like the other three.


Is this something I can fix myself or do I need to take it to a
technician?


Thanks,
Wondering Man

That is wonderful! Thanks for the big laugh.

It reminds me of Freudian slips. A fellow said that the other day, he
had a bad Freudian slip. He meant to ask his mother-in-law, "Mother,
would you please pass the butter," but what came out was, "You are a
hateful bitch and you've ruined my life."

Ken, still chuckling.

This is a real exchange between myself and my mother in law at a BBQ
at our place on Sunday:

"Hi Pete, how's it going?"

"Allright. Could do without being full of snot and hayfever."

"Well, if it makes you feel better, my haemorroid has come back."

"Actually, that really does make me feel better."

My M.I.L. and I have had an interesting relationship over the last 25
years. A typical conversation goes something like this:

Gwen arrives for lunch:

"Hi Gwen, how's it going?"

"Sorry, I'm having a bad day. Feel like death, to be honest."

"Don't get me excited..."

She loves it. What she doesn't realise is that I'm not taking the
piss.

Pete (who is about to buy a house with the old bag to see her through
her dotage so we don't spend our inheritance on geriatric care...)
.

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