Re: My father

"mrpomfrit" <mrpomfrit@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:4468dda7$0$19675$8fcfb975@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I want to talk here about the smoking thing. I appreciate your warning
and know that you send it out in your current circumstances heartfelt
and true. But you've got to know that it ain't that easy. I have a
nine-year-old daughter who is my pride and joy and I want to see her
grow up. I've been smoking a pack a day for thirty-five years or so
(I'm in my fifties). Sometimes I lie awake at night and think "You
stupid fucker. Quit. I never want to touch another fucking cigarette
in my life. I'm scared shitless that I smoke". Then, the next morning,
it's Dr Jeckyl and Mr Hyde: I pour my coffee and reach for the pack. I
give up about once a year and it lasts about a week or two. Therapies?
What the ***: those therapies (hypnotism, acupuncture etc.) are
expensive and it seems to me that everyone who manages to give up
through therapies has been through at least three or four before
hitting on the one that works for them. I can't afford to do that.

And then, of course, cigarettes are sublime. The existential high.
Dicing with death is a neccessary part of human nature. Hell, I'm an
old maybe even ex deadhead...I've done my share of drugs. Not for
years now though, because even smoking dope wasn't working for me any
more...made me tired, too spaced and, worst of all, paranoid...yes,
even me, a real starship trooper, I finally was getting paranoid about
bills and hospitals and loss and death and debt etc.

So all I have left is cigarettes and booze. Both very very bad for my
health. But you know, how long do you want to live in deprivation of
what gets you off?

Yeah, you've got a point there, and you really just have to decide if
you like smoking enough that you are willing to likely shorten your life
a bit to continue doing it... I quit smoking cold turkey some time in
March, and although there have been many times that I certainly wanted a
smoke since then, and although I did like smoking to a certain extent,
it just wasn't an important enough activity in my life to risk
shortening the amount of time I could spend in the future doing other
activities that I enjoy more... Fact is, it just seems like there will
never be enough time in my life as it is to read all the books, listen
to all the music, and visit all the places that I want to, so an
activity that I generally enjoyed, but which could have possibly
lessened my ability to enjoy those other activies more often, was
discarded... As far as the quitting part, there was one night that was
really really hard, hanging out with a bunch of my friends at a bar in a
situation in which I would have normally smoked several cigarettes over
the course of the night... Once I got through that night, I had quit...

One other thing... The only thing worse than non-smokers general
attitude towards smokers is the attitude of some ex-smokers towards
smokers (and I will also say here that all the ex-smokers around here,
Joe, Walter, etc were very supportive and helpful to me when I quit), so
I don't want to come off like as disapproving at all... I understand the
enjoyment of a cigarette, and especially as a drinker, I understand the
perfect combination that is your favorite alcoholic beverage and a
cigarette... It is just a matter that, if you are sitting at bed in the
night thinking about quitting and wanting to quit for the sake of your
daughter, then you don't have to psyche yourself out by thinking that
you can't quit... Of course you can if you want to, and you can probably
quit rather easily.. A day or two of discomfort, a week at most, and
bam, you're done... But, it is your decision, and if you decide to
continue smoking, and that is really the right decision for you, nothing
wrong with that either... We all make cost/benefit decisions every
day...

Anyway, best of luck to you, whichever way the wind may blow...


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