Re: do me a favor and then I will cease and desist

On May 28, 12:38 am, "Robert Wiersema"
<robwISNTATh...@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
"takver" <ragb...@xxxxxxxxx> wrote in message

news:1180324536.473515.11850@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx



I put my heart and soul into a post here a bit ago to have a very tiny
part of it commented on so glibly . Can I ask you to read it again..or
for the first time? I cried as I wrote it and thought of so many
people that i know personally who are struggling so much. I mentioned
one but her situation is just one of so many situations in which I
have seen women treated so badly by men. I work in a business which
sees a lot of horror which is why I picked an example from outside of
work, I could pick many more examples from outside of my case load. If
I chose stories from my work you probably wouldn't believe them ( I
know steve wouldn't) because you wouldn't want to believe that people
could be so cruel to family members ( mostly female). I cannot express
what anger and sadness I feel every day. It is overwhelming.

Here is the afore mentioned post . consider reading it an early
birthday present to me.

I understand where you are coming from and I have the same problem
with dogma of any stripe( or even spots). However, when you have
spent
as long as I have as a woman and you see the same thing or experience
the same thing over and over and over again.....It's hard. It's hard
to trust any of you. And every time I say that I get into a whole lot
of trouble. But Guys really have to work hard to earn my trust...
Think of it this way. Most men could kill me with their bare hands
sheerly because they are stronger than I am. Therefore it is prudent
that I am very careful about which of those I share my day with, let
alone my life. I have seen a lot of very bad things happen to women
over my almost 56 years and I frankly am scared a lot. Especially
now
as I feel my own strength starting to ebb. I had a friend who married
a man ten years younger than she is say recently " I don't feel that
I
can trust him to care for me as I age. I fear him" She has been with
this guy for 25 years, and while he has never been overtly physically
abusive, he has been a controlling verbally abusive character and I
can understand where she is coming from completely. As to why doens't
she leave? It ain't that simple....two mortages held together, a
couple of kids, their finances and as entertwined as most
folks..probably more so for a variety of reasons. She must feel
insanely trapped. There are ways out for her but even starting that
scares her because she is afraid of his reaction. He's not a bad guy,
I have known him for 15 years, but I can understand her fear. She is
starting to become more frail. He isn't.
And then I have my fondest male buddy ( besides my husband) caring
beautifully and gently for his 90- something parents and I smile. I
trust him. Unfortunately the great majority of the men that I run
into aren't him, and they are not you. They are people who feel they
have been given the birthright to treat half the worlds population
like crap. And they do. I encourage men like you, Rob, to produce
more
sons and teach them to be like you. It is the only way this will ever
improve. I don't see much of that happening though. When I lived in
the BAy Area I had hope for men as a species but the Bay Area ( and I
suspect where you live as well) ain't much like the rest of this
world. What I have seen in Rural NJ is terrifying. And I suspect that
a lot more of the world is like here and not like San Francisco.

This make any sense?

My husband , a very heterosexual male, has given up on his own
gender.
He has a couple of long time friends but he tells me what he hears at
various events around here when the women folk leave the room....the
way the men folk talk.. And he generally says" Men Are Pigs". He says
it way more than I do. In fact, I have more male friends than he
does. Curious, eh?

I am an angry woman. And I don't get mellower and more forgiving as
I
age .. I just get more pissed off. Perhaps it is because I have two
daughters. Two amazing daughters and I fear for them every second of
my life. They don't know it though. I don't want them to know that. I
want them to think things will improve and that they will help with
that and benefit from it. I don't want to tell them what I really see.

I obviously don't have your experiences, Ruth, but I don't dismiss them.
There are some terrible men out there - no question about it.

If I can comment on one thing, though, it would be the hope that you have
for your daughters. I understand your fears, but I do think that things are
not only getting better on the gender front, but ARE better on the gender
front. The men coming of age now were raised by women like you, strong
women. Independent women. Feisty women, as my wife likes to have it. And
it's not only the men - your daughters have learned from your example, your
strength.

I don't think for a minute that the world is a shiny, happy, universally
harmonious place. I think those boys in the Duke case deserve a sound
thrashing - preferably from their mothers - for their attitudes and their
behavious. I think that there are still men who abuse and harrass women.
But I think it is improving out there... for what it's worth.



I wish I had more faith in humanity. I have none anymore. Certain
humans , sure, but I feel I have seen all of the human races tricks
and I am not all that impressed. I don't think we will survive as a
species and more and more I don't care.

Callous, I guess. Maybe it is because death is closer for me than it
is for many of you. I don't know. Of course, I do plan to take the Hob
Gadling route with that little Death thing... I ain't goin'

.

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