NBC: 30 greatest sports quotes

30 Greatest Sports Quotes Ever
Written By Robert Littal

30- Torrin Polk, University of Houston WR, on his coach, John Jenkins 1991

"He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."

Right Mr. Polk whatever you say.

29- Martina Hingis in Detour Magazine, 3/98 issue.

"I'm glad you're doing this story on us and not on the WNBA. We're so much
prettier
than all the other women in sports."

I cannot lie Martina is speaking the truth. The women in the WNBA look like
an Australian
Rules football team.

28- Doug Collins on the Detroit Pistons

"Any time Detroit scores more than 100 points and holds the other team below
100
points, they almost always win."

I am still trying to get Doug to call me back and let me know when the
Pistons lost when this
happen.

27- Jason Kidd on his team and Tracy McGrady on his career path.

?We?re going to turn this team around 360 degrees?

?My career was sputtering until I did a 360 and got headed in the right
direction?

No wonder why Kidd and McGrady have never won a Championship when they are
going
around in circles. It must be time consuming.

26- Former LA Dodger Pedro Guerrero on reporters.

?Sometimes they write what I say not what I mean.?

I wonder if he is still doing cocaine with OJ?s Nicole look-a-like.

25- Former Philadelphia Philly John Kruk

?I?m not an athlete. I?m a professional baseball player.?

You have never lied Kruk.

24-Former New Orleans Saints RB George Rogers.

?I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first?

I am pretty sure about this George, but I believe you would hit 1,000 before
1,500.

23- Former NBA Player Sherman Douglas.

?I don?t want to shoot my mouth in my foot, but those are games we could
win?

Other way around chief.

22- Ted Walsh- Horse Racing Commentator

?This is really a lovely horse, I once rode her mother?

I am going to assume that Ted likes HILFs.

21- Alan Minter

?Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing- but none of them
serious?

Of course Mr. Minter when has a death ever been consider serious.

20- Yogi Berra

?Baseball in 90% mental the other half physical?

Didn?t know half of a 100% was 90%. Damn Ohio State education.

19- Joe Theismann on who should be called a genius.

?Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman
Einstein.?

I definitely know one person who isn?t a genius.

18- Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State Basketball player, explaining to
Coach Jim Valvano
why he appeared nervous at practice, 1982.

?My sister?s expecting a baby, and I don?t know if I?m going to be an uncle
and an
aunt?

I am going to chalked this up to the tight shorts they had to wear back in
82.

17- Former NC State basketball player Charles Shackleford.

?Left hand, right hand, it doesn?t matter. I?m amphibious.?

Maybe he played ball under water a lot.

16- Tug McGraw on whether he preferred grass or Astroturf.

?I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf.?

Classic.

15- Shannon Sharpe on the sideline pretending to talk on a red phone to the
White House.

?Someone call the president and tell him to get National Guard because we
are killing
the Patriots?.

Shannon is one of the great trash talkers of our time.


14- Randy Moss on how he was going to pay his fine after fake mooning the
Green Bay
crowd.

?Straight Cash Homie?

Has become a hip-hop slogan.

13- Drew Rosenhaus at a press conference concerning the suspension of T.O.

?Next Question?

Drew is a pimp he got both T.O. and Edge paid more money than anyone
thought. He
needs to be my agent.

12- Shaquille O?Neal on his basketball achievements (this was before he won
titles with the
Lakers).

?I have won at every level I played at except college and pro.?

The wisdom of the Diesel.

11- Hollywood Henderson on Terry Bradshaw?s intellect.

?He couldn?t spell cat if you spotted him the C and the T?

This was from a guy who hid cocaine in his uniform during the Super Bowl, so
how smart
was he?

10- Terrell Owens on love.

?I love me some me?

That was more information than I wanted to know.

9- Rafael Palmerio on how to be a professional liar.

?I did not use steroids. Period!!!?

Barry Bonds didn?t use them either.

8- Charles Barkley on the 40 Year Virgin AC Green.

?If God is so good, how come he didn?t give you a jump shot??

That is cold blooded. I wonder if AC ever did get some, if you know the
answer to that email
me.

7- Mitch ?Blood? Green after Mike Tyson busted his eye in a fight.

?He is a sissy, a homo?

I think the picture describe this, better than anything I can say.

6- Magic Johnson on how well he and James Worthy work together.

?It?s almost like we have ESPN.?

No wonder this guy wasn?t smart enough to use a condom when he was sleeping
with 6
women at the same time.

5- Rasheed Wallace answer to every post-game question.

?Both Teams Played Hard?

If you need a good quote go find Sheed.

4- Al Davis on what makes a good defense.

?The quarterback most go down and he must go down hard?

You have to respect any man who wears pitch-black leisure sweat suits in
Cali.

3- Allen Iverson?s mom responding to allegations that A.I. threw his wife
out of the house
while she was naked.

?Did Tawanna tell you that??

Didn?t she married a guy that was younger than A.I.?

2- Mike Tyson:

Mike has his own wing in the sports quotes Hall of Fame here are my personal
favorites:


?I might just fade to Bolivian?

"[He] called me a 'rapist' and a 'recluse'. I'm not a recluse."

"I am many things. I am an animal. I am a convicted rapist, a hell-raiser, a
loving father, and
a semi-good husband. You don't really know me."

"I can sell out Madison Square Garden masturbating."

"If I take this camera and put it in your face for 20 years, I don't know
what you might be.
You might be a homosexual if I put that camera on you since you were 13
years old. I've
been on that camera since I was 13 years old."

"Lennox Lewis, I'm coming for you man. My style is impetuous. My defense is
impregnable,
and I'm just ferocious. I want your heart. I want to eat his children.
Praise be to Allah!"

"I want to rip out his heart and feed it to him [Lennox Lewis]. I want to
kill people. I want to rip
their stomachs out and eat their children."

"I paid a worker at New York's zoo to re-open it just for me and Robin. When
we got to the
gorilla cage there was 1 big silverback gorilla there just bullying all the
other gorillas. They
were so powerful but their eyes were like an innocent infant. I offered the
attendant $10,000
to open the cage and let smash that silverback's snotbox! He declined."

"My power is discombobulating devastating I could feel his muscle tissues
collapse under
my force. It's ludicrous these mortals even attempt to enter my realm."

?I want to throw down your kid and stomp on his testicles, and then you will
know what it is
like to experience waking up everyday as me. And only then will you feel my
pain.?

[To a female reporter] "It's no doubt I am going to win this fight and I
feel confident about
winning this fight. I normally don't do interviews with women unless I
fornicate with them. So
you shouldn't talk anymore... Unless you want to, you know."

"The one thing I know, everyone respects the true person and everyone's not
true with
themselves. All of these people who are heroes, these guys who have been
lily white and
clean all their lives, if they went through what I went through, they would
commit suicide.
They don't have the heart that I have. I've lived places they can't defecate
in."
"I'm not Mother Teresa. But I'm also not Charles Manson!"
"Fear is your best friend or your worst enemy. It's like fire. If you can
control it, it can cook
for you; it can heat your house. If you can't control it, it will burn
everything around you and
destroy you. If you can control your fear, it makes you more alert, like a
deer coming across
the lawn."

"I'm just like you. I enjoy the forbidden fruits in life, too. I think it's
un-American not to go out
with a woman, not to be with a beautiful woman, not to get my *** sucked
.... It's just what I
said before, everybody in this country is a big f**king liar. [The media]
tells people ... that
this person did this and this person did that and then we find out that were
just human and
we find out that Michael Jordan cheats on his wife just like everybody else
and that we all
cheat on our f**king wife in one way or another either emotionally,
physically or sexually or
one way."

"There's no one perfect. We're always gonna do that. Jimmy Swaggart is
lascivious, Mike
Tyson is lascivious -- but we're not criminally, at least I'm not,
criminally lascivious. You know
what I mean. I may like to fornicate more than other people -- it's just who
I am. I sacrifice so
much of my life, can I at least get laid? I mean, I been robbed of my most
of my money, can I
at least get [oral sex] without the people wanting to harass me and wanting
to throw me in
jail?"

"At times, I come across as crude or crass, that irritates you when I come
across like a
Neanderthal or a babbling idiot at times. But I like to be that person. I
like to show you all
that person because that's who you come to see."
"I'm the most irresponsible person in the world. The reason I'm like that is
because, at 21,
you all gave me $50 or $100 million, and I didn't know what to do. I'm from
the ghetto. I don't
know how to act. One day I'm in a dope house robbing somebody. The next
thing I know,
'You're the heavyweight champion of the world.' ... Who am I? What am I? I
don't even know
who I am. I'm just a dumb child. I'm being abused. I'm being robbed by
lawyers. I think I have
more money than I do. I'm just a dumb pugnacious fool. I'm just a fool who
thinks I'm
someone. And you tell me I should be responsible?"
I have no idea why no one has done a reality show on Mike yet. That would be
the highest
rated show ever.

1-Allen Iverson on practice:

?We are talking about practice?. Practice?.not the game?not the game I will
die
for?We talking about practice?Practice?What are we talking about????
Practice?




--
"I was a Republican until they lost their minds,"
'"If it wasn't for Arkansas and Mississippi, we'd be dead last in
everything. I think we can do better,"
Charles
Barkley


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