Re: 18 Ways To Be A Good Liberal


"Polarhound" <polarhound@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:CaKdnW0qfdrtXWDbnZ2dnUVZ_tzinZ2d@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
18 Ways to be a good liberal

1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on
demand.

To be a good conservative you have to believe in the sanctity of human life.
Otherwise you'll kill all of their worthhless asses. In His name.

2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and
governments create prosperity.

To be a good conservative is to believe that rule by unelected CEO is
preferable to We the People.

3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding citizens
are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands
of Chinese and North Korean communists.

To be a good conservative you have to ignore 50 thousand gun deaths per year
and that deaths due to China and NK have yet to exceed 0.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before federal funding.

To be a GC you have to believe art is a communist conspiracy to brainwash
children. Just like flouride.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by
cyclical changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer
moms driving SUV's.

To be a GC means to believe it is God's wish that you consume as much as you
possibly can before you are raptured. So why save any of it for the next
generation?

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but being
homosexual is natural.

To be a GC means you believe in the bible which says you can beat your wife
and sell your daughters into prostitution but ignore the fact that the bible
has almost nothing to say against gays.

7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of
federal funding.

To be a GC means that you AIDS is just God's way of saying people not like
you deserve to die so why should you worry.

8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach
4th-graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids
about sex.

To be a GC means that every solution to a problem involves throwing the baby
out with the bath water.

9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but PETA
activists do.

To be a GC means that the best way to preserve wildlife is as a trophy on
your wall.

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than
actually doing something to earn it.

To be a GC means to instill self-hatred and hatred of others and call it the
love of Jesus.

11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own
money to make "The Passion of the Christ" for financial gain only.

To be a GC means you have to believe Jesus would have been all in favor of
using Churches to make a shitload of money.

12. You have to blieve the NRA is bad because it supports certain
parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports
certain parts of the Constitution.

To be a GC you have to think that ACLU wants schoolchildren to wear Mao
jackets.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

To be a GC means you don't care how badly you are ripped off as long as it
stuffs the money into the pockets of criminal CEOs.

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are
more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert
E. Lee, and Thomas Edison.

To be a GC means history ended in 1865.

15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial
quotas and set-asides are not.

To be a GC means you are only worth what you were born with.

16. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked
anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in
charge.

To be a GC means that you have to believe that you can have all the benefits
of a modern society and never have to pay a dime for it.

17. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag queens
and transvestites should be constitutionally protected, and manger
scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

To be a GC means that you pine for the days when a priest owned your soul
and worked you 20 hours a day 7 days a week and could have you executed on
the spot it you complained.

18. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast,
right-wing conspiracy.

To be a GC means to sleep with a gun in your bed fearful of the gubmint
kicking in your door yet at the same time giving that same gubmint your
expressed permission to do just that so long as you can feel safer from
tayrists.

Paul


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