off topic humor
- From: Mike Baxter <mgb***@comcast.net>
- Date: Thu, 30 Apr 2009 15:29:51 -0700
BAR JAR
George walks into a biker bar and notices a very large jar on the
counter and sees that it's filled to the brim with $10 bills. He
guesses there must be more than ten thousand dollars in it. He
approaches the bartender and asks, 'What's with the money in the jar?'
'Well......you pay $10 and if you pass three tests, you get all the
money and the keys to a brand new Lexus.'
George certainly isn't going to pass this up, so he asks, 'What are
the three tests?'
'You must pay first; those are the rules,' says the bartender.
So, after thinking it over a while, George gives the bartender the $10
and the bartender drops it into the jar.
'Okay,' the bartender says, 'here?s what you need to do: First - you
have to drink a whole quart of tequila, in a minute or less, and you
can't make a face while doing it.
Second - there's a pit bull chained in the back with a bad tooth. You
have to remove that tooth with your bare hands.
Third - there's a 90-year old lady upstairs who has never had sex.....
you have to take care of that problem!'
George is stunned. 'I know I paid my $10, but I'm not an idiot! I
won't do it! You'd have to be nuts to drink a quart of tequila, and
then do all those other things...'
'Your call,' says the bartender..... 'But, your money stays where it
is.'
As time goes on, and George has a few more drinks, he finally says,
'Where's the damn tequila?'
He grabs the bottle with both hands and drinks it as fast as he can.
Tears stream down both cheeks... but he doesn't make a face and he did
it in fifty-eight seconds!
Next, he staggers out the back door, where he sees the pit bull
chained to a pole. Soon the people inside the bar hear growling,
biting and screaming sounds .... then nothing but silence!
Just when they think that George surely must be dead, he staggers back
into the bar with his shirt ripped open and there are scratches and
he's bleeding all over his body.
He says, 'Now where's that old woman with the bad tooth?'
.
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