He's Aliiive!


Wassup, homies!

Would you believe I was pulling a no-handed, double-back-flip in
preparation for Summer X?

No?

How about training for the Porn-O-Lympics with Jenna Jameson and
friends?

Not buying that one either, huh?

Okay, here's the scoop... Seth came by and...

Oh.


So spike had it right. One day I'm boasting about my BMX skillz and
a couple days later I'm in the ER department praying for something
minor -- like a bruised shoulder and sprained wrist. No such luck. My
xray looked pretty much identical to this one:

http://www.msu.edu/user/joshia/xray/1000-clavicle_02.jpg

The wrist fracture was much less scary lookin', but no less
disabling. Still though, I had the nurses laughing with my "body
builder" pose after they applied this medieval X-strap thing designed
to hold the collarbone in place. And again later when they decided
maybe Jane should sign the paperwork, which prompted me to growl (in
my best old west voice), "I can make my mark."

As for the accident itself, nothing too exciting to report.
Over-jumped a small double and just landed awkwardly. Wasn't even
going that fast, but augured in like Flight 77. No chance to "roll
with it." I don't believe I actually lost consciousness, but I saw
lots of pretty stars and when I tried standing up -- twice -- I was
staggering around like ol' Cooter Brown after a 3-day bender and sort
of just collapsed on the second attempt.

Fortunately our kids were off riding some nearby trails and were
spared this spectacle. There were a couple of other kids present
though and they came hurrying over to, I'm quite certain, pronounce me
dead. I lied and assured them that I was fine.

This wasn't an actual BMX track, but a dirt jump park tucked back
in some woods near a subdivision. According to some of the guys it's
been there for at least ten years and all the jumps were built (and
maintained) by guys who ride there. It's a really neat place and the
jump I crashed on wasn't much more than a mole hill (albeit a "kicker"
of a mole hill). In fact, that was probably my biggest problem... the
jump was too small to be smooth. But prior to the crash I had jumped
several of the jumps successfully, including the one I crashed on.
Confidence is sometimes an evil mistress ;->

In any case, lesson learned. My future BMX exploits will only
involve casual riding around the neighborhood with my kids. I
should've known better.

Thanks for all the thoughts and comments. I was just gonna lay low
out of sheer embarrassment, but what the hell. Like Jay said, I got a
reputation to uphold ;-p

If I don't return your comments please don't take it personal. My
collar bone keeps popping out of place when I type and, since I really
need it to heal fast, I probably won't be typing much. I've read all
the emails and RMD comments though, and I got your fax, John ;->

The Dummy's gonna live so don't worry about me. Carry on and I'll
see you in a few weeks. Thanks again.


Fred Bradford - CrashTestDummy
fjbradfordREMOVE@xxxxxxxxx
.

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