Re: Is this site gone forever?

----- Original Message ----- From: "Dori A Schmetterling" <info@xxxxxxxxxxxx>
Newsgroups: rec.humor.jewish
Sent: Thursday, August 23, 2007 4:46 PM
Subject: Re: Is this site gone forever?

The problem is that there are no new jokes (other than Harry Farka's 'pro' story, and that's only a maybe).

Sorry Dori, the beard on that joke is white. I started telling it to an 84 year-old and he finished it for me.

All jokes were introduced by aliens about 3 million years ago and they just keep going round and round, changing ethnic clothes as necessary.

Jokes seen here often migrate to the Irish, Australian, even Zimbabwe humor groups before they end their lives as Newfie jokes. Some don't translate to Jewish that well, especially the open casket and church bulletin jokes. But it's true, they've all been heard before (except for some of the originals that spring from real life, Jewish or otherwise). They all come from the same Alien document where the punchlines were assigned numbers. Here are 69 of them, courtesy of (and not copyrighted by) cchb...@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx as posted in alt.humor.puns in 1998:

1. People who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.
2. There's no plates like chrome for the Hollandaise.
3. Fair boot boy with teaks of Chan.
4. The pie rates of Penn's aunts.
5. Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers.
6. Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.
7. Abcess makes the fart go Honda.
8. It was the beast of Thames; it was the wurst of Thames.
9. Transcend dental medication.
10. Dill waters run steep.
11. Super California mystic - Expert: Halitosis.
12. It was the bottom of the ninth; the score was tied; the basses
were loaded.
13. Making an obscene clone fall.
14. Treads rush in where wise men fear to fool.
15. A Benny shaved is a Benny urned.
16. We came to ferry Caesar; not to graze him.
17. We came to seize your berry; not to appraise it.
18. Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
19. You wouldn't send a knight out on a dog like this.
20. Oh, my baking yak!
21. A four-loaf cleaver.
22. No Huns, no writs, no Eros, and nun on base.
23. Hale hath no Fury like the woman's corn.
24. Taking mynahs over stately lions for immortal porpoises.
25. Follow the yellow-dicked toad.
26. Squaw bury Shortcake.
27. The squaw on the hippopotamous is equal to the sum of the squaws
on the other two hides.
28. The first Indian to wire a head for a reservation.
29. The lesser of two weevils.
30. Now I weigh me down to sweep.
31. Only Hugh can prevent florist friars.
32. The Czech is in the male.
33. You can't have your kayak and heat it too.
34. It's a knick-knack, Paddy Black; give the frog a loan.
35. No tern was left unstoned.
36. With fronds like these, who need anemones?
37. One's a bunch of cunning runts.
38. One's a bunch of mutts.
39. One follows the yellow brick road; the other swallows the
yellow prick's load.
40. Don't fry for me, Marge and Tina.
41. Yeast is yeast, and nest is nest, and never tha mane shall tweet.
42. Sunday my prints will come.
43. The son never sits on the British umpire.
44. Silly rabbi - kicks are for Trids.
45. It's a long way to tip a Rary.
46. Never lock a gift mouse in the hearse.
47. Never hatchet your Counts until they've chickened.
48. It's a hickory Daiquiri, Doc!
49. The herd shot round the world.
50. Don't put all your Basques in one exit.
51. It's not wetter Yewin that counts; it's how you ply the gum.
52. The best Yings in Fife are free.
53. He must have taken Leif off his census.
54. The din of inequity.
55. He who has a Tates is lost.
56. The koala tea of Mercy is not strained.
57. The Whore-Force men of the park ellipse.
58. Reign called off because of game.
59. The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on.
60. When Irish spies are filing.
61. Readers digest and writers cramp.
62. A cunning linguist.
63. I left my harp in Sam Crab's disco.
64. I'll be seeing ewes in all the old familiar braces.
65. That was the bar bitch you ate.
66. The beer that made Mel Famey walk us.
67. A Hun is the lowest form of roomer.
68. One tooth free for Fife's Hicks; Steven ate nine tench.
69. The mills are alive with the hounds of Munich.

Harry Farkas