Re: Loving prayers and thoughts for one of our garden newsgroup members..........
- From: Bourne Identity <sirius@xxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Fri, 14 Oct 2005 12:44:53 GMT
My deepest thoughts of sorrow for the loss of your friend and
Barbs husband. I lost my dad to liver cancer and AIDS complications
and it was awful. It's best if he is totally medicated. What a waste
of a beautiful life and person. I'm so sorry Maddy.
With love,
Victoria
On Fri, 14 Oct 2005 03:06:45 -0400, "madgardener" <madgard@xxxxxxx>
wrote:
>Marilyn, aka madgardener here. I am the bringer of very sad news tonight.
>For the last year and a half, one of our beloved garden newsgroup members
>has been fighting colon cancer. It was actually looking better. You all know
>him by John, or his e-mail signature of B&Jskeff.
>
>I met him right off almost eight years ago on this newsgroup and immediately
>struck up a friendship with him in the middle of a tumultuous moment with my
>son's wife at a time in their life when I needed someone outside of my life
>to give me sound advice. I turned to John, just to ask his opinion and
>trusted him. It was something I felt from the heart.
>
>I sent him a 14 page letter over the internet to proof read for me and offer
>his opinion as to wheather or not it was out of bounds or had gone too far.
>He sent it back with only two sentences taken out, told me that my writing
>had once again spoken volumns and that unless my daughter in law read
>something between the lines, it was in no way condesending or condeming. It
>was more than adequate to send. And I did.
>
>Shortly afterwards, John decided that I was the right age to be his "little
>sis" and he kinda adopted me. He fit the age of an older brother and we
>communicated back and forth and talked gardens. He particularly loved my
>receipe for squirrel stew that I'd submitted once.
>
>His life in upper Minnesota was facinating, and that he was a retired
>teacher was a wonderful thing to me as well. Then one spring, he and his
>bride on their way to North Carolina stopped thru here to meet up with me.
>He and Barb were everything I had figured.
>
>A white haired elf of a man, full head of hair, twinkling eyes, and a huge
>smile. Barb was a woman in total love with this amazing man. We had a great
>lunch at a local little restaurant, I dragged them thru the slope, and the
>early stages of Fairy Holler, and then thru the chaos of our house. Lots of
>hugs and tears, they went onwards towards North Carolina and the friendship
>strengthened.
>
>Christmas cards, sometimes with a sneak of his extra left over "walking
>around change" as he'd put it because Barb didn't just let him buy any plant
>he wanted. I was blown away by his kindnesses. He made my husband cry one
>Christmas when he had just had surgery on a double hernia and was out of
>work. The Christmas card came, and my own John (whom another garden friend
>had nicknamed "Squire" that stuck) asked to open it as he was depressed at
>not being able to do anything for at least six weeks.
>
>As he opened the envelope, I looked over at him and he asked me to pull to
>the shoulder. He was crying. Inside, "Brudder John" had slipped some
>Christmas money inside the card. And had written a note to my own John with
>words of encouragement. And spoke very kind of me, a little sister he really
>felt love and worry towards like any big brother would. And that he hoped
>he'd have the opportunity to one day meet him the same as he'd met me.
>
>Now here we are, almost a year and a half since he pressed his doctors to
>find out what was wrong because he just knew there wasn't something right.
>and they discovered cancer. And that he'd have to have treatments for the
>duration. I once asked him duration of what? And he made a joke that he'd
>glow until the end of his life he expected. And always he'd send me jokes
>after he'd have treatments. Well, here is the bad news I got tonight after
>sweet Barb sent me the first wave of oh no......I am just attaching it here.
>I don't think John would mind now. I wanted to share with the people that
>John loved as gardeners and friends from the newsgroup so that they know he
>is leaving with just lying his trowel down for a moment.
>
>My tears are heavy now, so here is Barb's letter to me and friends and
>family. I'd appreciate prayers and loving thoughts for John Skeffington
>today and loving supportive prayers and thoughts for his sweet bride, Barb.
>Who he lovingly called his July bride..........
>
>"I have bad news. The tests completed last night or early this morning
>finally indicated that the tumors have overtaken his liver and that his
>liver is shutting down. This also causes ammonia to build up in the brain,
>causing the light coma-like state that he is currently in. Today he is not
>responsive other than slightly opening his eyes when spoken to and
>occasionally he moves and stretches some. The doctor has assured me that he
>will not be in pain and has already administered morphine. They are giving
>him something to try to clear out the ammonia to see if we can have a little
>time to visit together yet. I pressed the doctors today as to how much time
>he has and was told "days" by both doctors.
>
> I still can't believe that this is happening so fast. Last week he was
>teaching new Master Gardeners about propagation and he still was good on
>Sunday. Monday the only clue I had was that he was exceptionally tired and
>was willing to have plants cut back and things taken out of the garden even
>though we haven't had any frost. The only part he took in the clean up of
>the flower beds and vegetable garden was to pick the peppers that were still
>on and pull out the plants. Thank heavens I found a woman who knows her
>plants and works tirelessly doing what needs to be done. We tackled a lot
>of the work in just 1 day! He was so happy to see so much was done.
>
>In keeping with his wishes (and mine are the same), he will be cremated and
>there will be no funeral or memorial service. Probably a week or two after
>his passing I will have an open house type of gathering of friends at the
>house to celebrate his life. Next summer, probably around the 4th of July,
>we will scatter his ashes on the farm he grew up on (and that we still own)
>in Park Rapids, MN. But right now I am not making any decisions. I just
>sit in his room and let him know I am here. By bringing my laptop along I
>can prepare this email and will send it out when I get home.
>
>I am SO glad we got little Snippet. She was the joy of his life for the
>last month. I got several pictures of them that I will always cherish
>
>God is taking his hand. I am losing by best friend and lover of almost 37
>years.
>Barb"
>
>Snippet is the little Yorkie puppy that John relented and got for Barb as a
>companion that immediately attached herself to her daddy. She is a heart
>breaker. And I know she'll help with the deep hurt that Barb will feel from
>the loss of John in the coming moments.
>
>
>So my love goes out to you, Brudder John. For all those times I wrote to
>you, and you back to me in return, and laughed at your jokes and the more
>randy ones you slipped to me. I cherish the time we had to get to know each
>other and am honored that we got a chance to hug and meet eye to eye. I hope
>we run into each other in a garden somewhere else someday. I'll know you by
>the twinkle in your eyes, and you'll know me by the goofy garden hat. One
>never knows. I'm not much on more than feeling that our energy and spirits
>go on without our shells. And that's just me and the way I feel. Thank you
>for allowing me to share this moment of pain and sadness and love with you
>all.
>
>Travis, I'll apologize now for the attachment. I had to do it. Think of it
>as my last tribute to John. I'll never post another jpg again on this
>newsgroup, that I can promise and keep word on.
>
>I have a Deutzia that John started me from cuttings that just this year grew
>two new shoots on and promises to bloom wonderfully for me. If I ever leave,
>this bush will follow with me along with a number of things I can't part
>with that are precious to me.
>
>Marilyn P. Catron aka "madgardener", "maddie" and "lil' sis" up on the
>ridge, back in Fairy Holler, overlooking English Mountain in Eastern
>Tennessee
>
.
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