Re: [OT] What do you do when you're NOT gonna die?

On Sun, 27 May 2007 08:36:06 -0500, "Berto" <Albertocarro@xxxxxxx>
wrote:


"Kimo Elliott" <res7ix6q@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:_H56i.168$d63.126@xxxxxxxxxxx

"Matt C" <nope@xxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:Xns9935CFCA94B29nopenowaycom@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
So, I found a lump where a lump should not be.
And my doctor (and a second opinion) told me to prepare for the worst.
And I made my peace with The End.


And the scan and the blood test both said I'm fine.

So what the **** do I do now?

I know the feeling.. I had a 5 vessel-heart bypass last week.

I have been on both sides, that is, getting bad news, getting good news, and
giving both(survivor of Melanoma). It is difficult to believe that someday
we will all die. Last week, I finished telling a family that their mother
had Alzheimer's disease(which they wanted to see at least two neurologists
to confirm), and to top that one, I diagnosed her with Lung
Cancer(non-smoker), a few days later. That went over like a fart in Church.
The reason for the delay is that I did a Chest CT scan. In order to be
ABSOLUTELY sure, we need an open biopsy(on an 84 year old woman?). Her
husband knew what I had said was true. He knew that he lost his wife a year
ago. That was the time he noticed all of the episodes of forgetfulness(no
metastasis-did a Head CTscan), and, recently, her recent loss of weight. Oh,
and she is going to a Pulmonogist as I write.

I am bringing this up because at least three members of the family heard
different things in the same room. It may have been a combination of my way
of telling bad news and each individual's filters. Everyone(including the
husband) wanted mom to live forever. Who would not? Unfortunately, all of
us will die. I cannot control it nor can any one of us can. We can do an
open biopsy of her lung to confirm the diagnosis, or not, and treat
accordingly or not. The news are Life-changing, either way.

In a young person, an open biopsy is a must(for the most part), and if it
happens to be benign(instead of being a duck, it is a chicken), which can
occur, then, it does create a lot of mix feelings, sometimes depression,
sometimes anger-different sides of the coin (How could I do this to
them!)(How come you were wrong(not wrong, just confirming or denying the
diagnosis, or wrong...), and put me through this!)(Don't you know what you
put me through?-yeah, I do)(I should sue you!-take the bite at the apple,
God speaking, oh wait, Doctor speaking, Oh it is the same...). It is
displaced anger which unfortunately, I have to deal with a lot initially and
have felt it as a patient. Having good news, after you steal yourself for
the worse is a let down.Same side of that coin. It is tough.

Grieve and then, get over it. You have to help yourself out of the hole.
Literally.

The answer to what you can do now is to talk to someone(not necessarily need
be a therapist), explore your grief, anger, your loss of innocence, and if
needed, take something, an antidepressant, if needed.

After all of that, get over it. Whatever it may be- no Leukemia, Lymphoma,
By-pass(no heart? an Orky? Unfair! :)), get over it.All of us have a finite
time in this world. It is that time that defines our mortality and our
definition of who we are. Something hits us over the head. Do not become a
victim to it. Ask someone to help you up if you can't do it alone, but, get
over it.

Most of us, at first will, "Fight against the dying of the light" and "you
are our only hope". When everything is said and done just, we just "Say
goodnight, Gracie". The anger often comes when we review our life and it
has been "measured by coffee spoons."(sorry about that) and we now have to
deal with the Life we have left. Our "borrowed" time(not borrowing it from
me!).

As long as you are above ground, get over it. Your wasting time otherwise. I
am not trying to sound rude or mean. All of this I wrote is my way to tell
you, if not married, get a hot young girlfriend with fantastic tits and is
a nympho(estarriol really said it best, IMHO, with fewer paragraphs-a reread
for sure). For those who are, we paint GW figures and lick our brushes and
have man-breasts(correlation?)and drink Ale and eat Nachos.

Remember, Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile. Anyway, get over it and
bury that crap, not you.

Berto



Wow... half of that I understood. Do you always dole out your best
advice while high, Doctor? ;)

I get where you're coming from, to some extent. I figure with the way
my body's been beaten up, if I live past 50 it'll be a miracle and a
curse (because it already hurts like hell). So I just figure, heck,
live your life like you're going to die. It's going to happen
eventually, and could be tomorrow in some auto accident.

On the other hand, my approach may be different from some other
people. A lot of people would "redeem themselves" and go overboard
with the being nice, giving to people, all of that, even if that's not
being true to themselves. I see no point in changing who I am. If my
actions would have condemned me to hell prior to realizing I'm going
to die, then to change them just to save myself because I *did* get a
chance is, well, a bit hypocritical (even if it does work). However,
if I believe that being true to myself won't condemn me (which I
believe), and has worked so far (and it has)... why change anything
anyway? Seriously, if life has been working out for you so far, don't
change it too much. You leave a strange impression on people when you
change who you are. It is by our quirks that we are often defined,
especially by our friends. And when you try to turn into a saint, or
go over the top in the other direction, you risk destroying the
friendships you've made to that point in life. Is it worth doing that
to get some extra enjoyment out of the time you have left? Would you
really feel better having sex every day, if by doing so you alienate
your friends?

I guess my best advice would be to change nothing.

--
Erik

Insert soulless sig file here.
.

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