Re: This bugs me....

On 57khz Polychromic shrieked:
Ashikaga wrote:

Anyways..., I gardening nowaways besides going to school (though I go to

Darn that English.dll in your cortex! Always getting fried.

I "do" gardening.... Stand corrected. :-)

So explain the word "nowaways". Now aways?

A new invention of shorthand, it means nowadays anyways. :-p

Though I must say lately my English has been deteriorating for various
reasons. I probably need more sleep to keep my brain getting focused. My
motor skill has been becoming a problem. My handwriting is getting worse
(even worse than my typing skill). I often write stuff in jumped gun
manner. Not to mention I often leave out "not", "do" in this example, and
other small words out of a sentence when I type.

My most reoccurring spelling error is leaving off the r in your sometimes.

I feel I am dying or something.

You've died before and that leads you to this conclusion, eh?

I've been in several instances where I was dying, but not actually died...
(obviously). One I do not remember because I was only one or two years
old, and was only recounted to me by parents that I was hit by a motorcycle
(actually I was hit by a car too in another time). Another time I was too
competitive on a stepping machine and didn't even know I was too tired. So
when my brother told me to stop, the sudden shift from active state to
resting state resulted the blood shooting toward the brain and I was
temporarily blinded for a few minutes. Another time I probably mixed too
many different kinds of cold medicine and I felt to the ground unable to
move. My mom yelled at me not to sleep on the ground....

None of those incidents felt particular miserable though (except the latter
one which I was actually quite furious toward my mom's remark but could not
yell back because of my condition). I am actually feeling better since
this afternoon. Recently I've been feeling my head is not working and
extremely anemic and lack of focus for some reason. I could have studied
one thing and forget the next minute. It's not normal the slightest. Lack
of motor skill is weird too (not that I am very athletic in the first
place, but at least I could do simple things like writing or walking down
the stair without feeling I could fall off). I am going downhill from my
prime so I guess I need to re-adjust.

I also have this strange compelling urge
to write everything out, like the short story I always want to write but
keeps procrastinating. Don't you guys think I've been acting weirdly, like
crassing or grumpy and stuff lately?

Well, that would require some baseline of normality for us to compare your
recent actions. You seem as illogical and emo as always to me. Besides,
a written forum like this is not the best place to convey emotional
content. We can only go by your words. (This is also the reason why
newbies get scared off of new online forums easily - they wrongly
interpret posts aimed at them as being more hostile than what might have
been intended.) My solution - take nothing seriously and use smilies as
needed.

I have years of experience in forums like this. I know how to use smileys.
I've spent quite a bit of thought into my writings, so when people read
them, they'd feel I am next to them having a conversation with them rather
than some impersonal form of exchange of ideas.

I am aware it's hard to believe everything I write (or anybody's words we
get to read), especially my mentality is a bit funny in the first place
(though you have to realize some of the funny stuff is intentional, much
like your style of jokes). My RL self isn't nearly as confusing, I would
imagine, since I don't do those satirical jokes in RL (it doesn't work too
well outside of written medium, so I use verbal jokes, which don't work in
a forum like this!!!). Sometimes I am a little melodramatic, and sometimes
I am making fun of melodramas by mocking, so it's a little confusing....

Like I said, I've been acting not too prudent lately. A study shows older
folks sometimes will just spit words out, but when one ask them if they
know it's wrong, they would say they know. I feel like that sometimes. My
brain just isn't working lately. I've been shifting lots of these
emotional stuff to my blog so I can put them out of my system without sort
of making you guys read it. I only wrote the above one because I had a
concern that if I did die, at least somebody would sort of guess what's
going on. This is really only like 1/5 of what I wrote on my blog each
day.... Yes, that's how much I've been writing. I really feel strange
lately.

A feeling not knowing why somebody isn't there when one expects it can make
me feeling a little light-headed. Sammie told us he was with his
girlfriend, so I don't feel worried. Hawkie..., never told us anything,
just gone, my brain would try to scare me. I've had friends just poof out
of my life, it's not the happiest feeling in the world.

I could have handled the Paulon incident better if I were younger, but now
it's too messed up to fix. I must be getting old and dying to do something
this wrong. I feel I can relate to old people nowadays why they are so
frustrated and become grumpy. I'll try my best to age gracefully, and
hopefully get some work so I don't get aged even faster. I've been
carrying out a lot of personal projects lately, so hopefully doesn't matter
whether I really am dying or not, I have some legacy to be left. I am not
going to wait until I die.

To be truthful, I didn't even notice any Paulon incident.

You are too kind.

It's a terribly bad sign and caused a lot of irratation.

Irratation - what happens when rats invade your personal space.

..... Okay.... (*looks at Poly as if he has gone cuckoo*)

--
Ashikaga - a28 4/19/2007 10:36:53 PM
.

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