Re: OT: Obama sets "top salary" for Executives that take Stimulus money

"Kyle T. Jones"

When is 'yer' gonna catch on??!? It's a catch-all!

Interestingly, yesterday I posted something where I was actually trying to
use the wrong form of you're/your, and hit the right one accidentally.
HAR!

ur is better

I hope you are not actually being serious. This is an oldie but goodie.
There are lots of versions.

I have a couple of letters from Isaac Asimov concerning a peace conference I
was managing so I like this adapted version of his version a lot. There are
many others.


The original 1959(?) essay is attributed to Isaac Asimov, appearing in The
Golden Years of Science Fiction, 4th Series.


Because we are still bearing some of the scars of our brief skirmish with
sophomore English, it is natural that we should be enchanted by Mr. George
Bernard Shaw's campaign for a simplified alphabet.

Obviously, as Mr. Shaw points out, English spelling is in much need of a
general overhauling and streamlining. However, our own resistance to any
changes requiring a large expenditure of mental effort in the near future
would cause us to view with some apprehension the possibility of some day
receiving a morning paper printed in (to us) Greek.

Our own plan would achieve the same end as the legislation proposed by Mr.
Shaw, but in a less shocking manner, as it consists merely of an
acceleration of the normal processes by which the language is continually
modernized.

As a catalytic agent, we would suggest that a National Easy Language Week be
proclaimed, which the President could inaugurate by webcast, outlining some
shortcut to concentrate on during the week, and to be adopted during the
ensuing year. All school children would be given a holiday, the lost time
being the equivalent of that gained by the spelling shortcut.

In 2004, for example, we would urge the elimination of the soft "c", for
which we would substitute "s". Sertainly, such an improvement would be
selebrated in all sivic-minded sircles as being suffisiently worth the
trouble, and students in all sities in the land would be reseptive toward
any change which eliminated the need the learn the differense between the
two letters.

In 2005, sinse only the hard "c" would be left, it would be possible to
substitute "k" for it, both letters being pronounsed identikally. Imagine
how greatly only two years of this prosess would klarify the konfusion in
the minds of students. Already we would have eliminated an entire letter
from the alphabet. Typefases, input devises and voise rekognition systems
kould all be built with one less letter, and all the effort and materials
devoted to the making of "c"'s kould be turned toward raising the national
standard of living.

In the fase of so many notable improvements, it is easy to foresee that by
2006, "National Easy Language Week" would be a pronounsed suksess. All
skhool shildren would be looking forward with konsiderable exsitement to the
holiday, and in a blaze of national publisity it would be announsed that the
double konsonant "ph" no longer existed, and that the sound would henseforth
be written as an "f" in all words. This would make sush words as "fonograf"
twenty persent shorter in print.

By 2007, publik interest in a fonetik alfabet kan be expekted to inkrease to
sutsh a point that a more radikal step forward kan be taken without fear or
undue kritisism. We would therefore urge the elimination of al unesesary
double leters, whish, although quite harmles, have always ben a nuisanse in
the language and an obvious deterent to akurate speling. Try it yourself in
the next leter you write, and se if both writing and reading are not
fasilitated.

With so mutsh progres already made, it might be posible in 2008 to delve
further into the posibilities of fonetik speling. After due konsideration of
the reseption aforded the previous steps, it should be expedient by this
time to spel al difthongs fonetikaly. Most students do not realize that the
long "i" is pronounsed as two letters "ai" - as it is writen in "aisle" -
and that the long "a" in "fate" is in reality the difthong "ei", as in
"rein". Although perhaps not imediately aparent, the saving in taime and
efort wil be tremendous when we leiter elimineite the sailent "e", as maid
posibl by this last scheinge.

For, as is wel known, the horibl mes of "e's" apearing in our writen languag
is kaused prinsipaly bai the present nesesity of indikeiting whether a vowel
is long or short. Therefor, in 2009, we would simply elimineit al sailent
"e's", and kontinu to read and wrait merily along as though we wer in a
post-atomik ag of edukation.

In 2010, we would urg a greit step forward. Sins bai this taim it would hav
ben four years sins anywun had used the leter "c", we would sugest that the
"National Easy Languag Wek" be devoted to th substitution of "ek" for th
leter "x" - whitsh would instead b used in pleis of "th". To be sur, it
would tak som taim befor peopl would bekom akustomed to reading xeir
websaits and boks wix sentenses sutch as, "Xeodor xaught he had xre xousand
xistles xrust xrough xe xik of his xumb." Wixin th year, however, you kan be
sur we wil katsh on.

In xe seim maner, bai meiking eatsh leter hav its own sound and xat sound
only, we kould shorten xe languag stil mor. In 2011, we would elimineit xe
"y" - but in 2012, we kould us xe leter to indikeit xe "sh" sound, xerbai
klarifaiing words lik "yugar" and "yur", as wel as redusing bai wun mor
leter al words laik "yut", "yor", and so forx. Xink, xen, of al xe benefits
to be geind bai xe distinkyen whity wil xen be meid betwen in words laik
"oyean", "mayin", "reiyial", "tiyu" and "atenyon". Al suty divers weis of
wraiting wun sound would no longer eksist - and whenever wun kaim akros a
"y" sound, wun yould know exaktli what to wrait.

Kontinuing xis proses, jear after jear, we would evenyuali hav a reali
sensibl writen languag. Bai 2015, we ventyur tu sei xer wud bi no mor uv xez
teribli trublsum difikultiz, wix no tu leters uzd to indikeit xe seim noiz,
and laikwaiz no tu noizez riten wix xe seim leter. Evin Mr. Yaw, wi beliv,
wud bi hapi in xe noleg xat hiz drimz fainali keim tru.



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