Re: SOS Dessert Ideas?

On Tue 09 Dec 2008 11:11:13p, sf told us...

On Tue, 09 Dec 2008 06:33:35 GMT, Wayne Boatwright
<wayneboatwright@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:

Not being able to say goodbye and have closure, along
with not being able to support his father would be very difficult.

I agree with 2 out of three. Not being able to say goodbye and not
supporting her father are for sure, but *closure* (AFAIC) is another
matter. Closure (for me) is getting the "why" of an unexplained
absence or death. If she knows why/how her mother died, she already
has closure. Being able to say goodbye and supporting her father is
very important (IMO). In fact, they will support each other - if they
are able.

I remember when my mother's brother died. She didn't want to go back
to the funeral. She said she wanted to remember him alive, but it
didn't take much talking to convince her to go. So Mom, me and my DD
went.

I think it was cathartic for Mom. She never cried. However, I knew
she was happy to see relatives she hadn't seen in years but had been
in touch with since moving out of state (and was very fond of). I got
to meet them and I was able to touch bases with my ex-aunt, my new
aunt and my cousins. Plus my DD was introduced to a side of the
family she'd never known.

I understand what you mean about closure, but it's a little different for
me. When most of my relatives (grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc.) died, I
was unable to go to their wakes or funerals because of distance. In my
youth I had seen them all quite frequently. As an adult, it was rare for
me to see them with any frequency at all. Not seeing them after they died
was as though they had merely disappeared. It felt that I never really had
closure with their deaths. It may not seem logical, but that is how I felt
about it.

--
Wayne Boatwright
(correct the spelling of "geemail" to reply)
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