Re: How's this for an invitation

"Lou Decruss" wrote
"cshenk" wrote:

Or just clueless, or make so much more than their neighbors (nice
neighborhood doesnt indicate much, I live in a nice one too but we dont
have
200$ a person gifts of potluck foods going around!).

$200 may have a different impact on different peoples budget as a few
here claim they can eat a whole month on that. BUT even if you're
rich, it's still $200 and I think they know that. The woman sounds
like a "favor-grabbing" ***.

Grin, I think she's just socially clueless. Most of the more weathy friends
I have (not that many of them but a few) are very careful with routine
bills. My impression is this 'lady' holds this type of gathering fairly
often so would fall under 'routine bill' and at that, 200$ is a bit much.

In fact I was talking with Paula just last night and mentioned this. Paula
is 'well heeled' and we met at a local charity event. (Paula and I met at a
charity MADD gathering).

A friendship ensued and we meet up about once a month and call every other
week or so. Paula can easily afford 1,000$ a plate charity events (no, we
met at a simpler venue). I asked her about this party and she was more than
a little appalled. Per Paula: 'That person would be uninvited from my guest
list unless it was a truely special event and we normally traded and even
then, it would have to be more politely handled".

I *have* been to fancy parties at Paula's house. She's occasionally come to
our little backyard shindigs too ;-). She's real people. Her house is a
beautiful 10 bedroom Victorian set on a 3 acre yard with a pool.

I know how she manages her lists. She lets folks know by an email group of
a prospective date for a yard-garden-pool party. She asks who will need a
ride to/from and has her driver (yes, she has a driver!) pickup us strays so
we can have wine etc. Her better heeled friends have people to pick them
up (like her, some have drivers and they will happily assist in getting the
rest of us back, like last time Jack's handyman doubled as a driver and took
us home). Everyone knows that some of us can't provide 'fancy' so along
with the invite, is a note to just bring a smile and if feeling awkward with
that, a small list of very *reasonable* items easy to provide at 10-20$. A
12-pack of seagrams ginger-ale is a sample as is 'a block of any nice cheese
you like so we can all have a taste test'.

Last time, I brought a 12$ butterkaieser cheese and a 12pack of Hawaiian
punch fruit juices. This was more than acceptable and the kids really liked
the juices.

Her guests span quite a range of backgrounds, races, religions, and finances
and our only thing in common is we are all interesting conversationalists.
So you might have a revival preacher with patched bluejeans earnestly
chatting with a fellow who owns 20 local grocery stores about how it was in
Vietnam when they were both foot soldiers.... Or the guy who works as a
stock boy for the grocery magnate chatting with his son about Chaucer and
the relevance to local times in our fears of eubola or aids vs theirs of the
black death.

As you might guess, her parties are alot of fun!

A sample of her handling: She asked me (reason for the call) what she
should have on hand so I can make a few authentic japanese variations of
miso soups. The next one (slated for 4 weeks from now) is a theme on
cooking where we are going to do a sort of really *simple* 'iron chef'. Key
point here is her handling. 'What should she have on-hand'. IE: she's
buying <g>. My return volly was to ask her to have 1/8 cup straw mushrooms
per expected eater or the same volume of reconstituted shiitake, and about 2
lbs cooked octopus and I'd have the rest for the estimated 40 servings.
*This* is how you do it if you want a special meal requested.

I find the standard 'BYOB' acceptable for a backyard party at my house.

I always have plenty, but people always bring plenty more. Usually
there's more leftover after a party then before guests arrive because
they bring so much.

True. At my backyard party, we arent big drinkers. 1 12pack of bud and 1
of Miller Lite is more than enough.

We have friends with a large boat that has several beers on tap. We
bring wine for them to drink another time by themselves, and drink the
beer from the tap. It all works out. The parties they throw are
potluck and we make sure we bring good food. You're not going to get
re-invited to a multi-million boat by being a cheap ***.

Grin, understood! Paula's parties are a little different. I'm there
because I fascinate the guests as well as am fascinated by them.
Conversation is why we gather. What we offer, is ourselves for the most
part.

to share. Work ones are small, just 6 of us. I'm the only one who makes
bread so normally thats what they want me to do. A chance to get some
good
stuff intead of 'wonderbread-white-gunk'.

Bread is always a good thing to bring if you make your own. I don't
know anyone who makes it, so it's always received well when I show up
with a few loaves and a spread of some sort.

Same here. Paula's is the only time I dont bring bread. Her cook handles
that. Grin, her's is no better or worse than mine.

Oh and last time Paula showed up for a backyard picnic at my place? Her car
broke down at the mall and she just walked over. She grabbed a 12pack at
the 7-11 on the way ;-). Ate Jimmy's chicken franks with glee and moaned
with the rest of us on the price of gas. That was the summer before I left
for Japan. I have to fix the grill now to start up again our little summer
gatherings at my place <g>.


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