Re: Who's coming for Thanksgiving?

Dave Smith wrote:
Julia Altshuler wrote:


I've just run into this. I invited my friend's 2 daughters for the
weekend. I told them they were welcome to invite their friends.
They did, and I emailed their friend to invite her directly. Now
she's answered with a lovely note telling me how grateful she is for
the invitation and how she's not sure she'll be able to make it
because she's not feeling well and has a lot of schoolwork to catch
up on, but that she really hopes she can.

It's a lovely note, and she's very young, only 18, so I can't expect
her to know the ins and outs of accepting invitations. I'm not too
annoyed, but it still occurs to me that an invitation for a weekend
isn't something you can leave your options open on until the last
minute. Now I'm expected to plan on her being here while, at the
same time, plan on her not.

What a drag. She was almost raised right. It obvious that she has
never hosted a similar event on her own and doesn't appreciate the
work and expense involved. Read between the lines. She isn't coming.
She is trying to decline politely.


This has been going on since I was in college. One year I sent out
written invitation for a Passover seder and asked for an RSVP.
People answered the day of the event. The next year I sent out
invitation with a respond-by date. I had one invited guest argue
with me that she might have the chance to go canoeing and therefore
COULDN'T let me know sooner than 2 days before. If I explain that I
must have a definite answer, they tell me O.K., I'll definitely be
there-- and then not show up. Obviously, these people never get
invited again, but that's not satisifactory at the time.


I agree. There are some people who are no longer invited to our
dinners. One is a friend of my wife who is a bit of an oddball. We
once called her up and invited her for dinner on a Sunday. We had a
roast ready to go and my wife thought that since there was lots to
spare so she called her up at 4 pm to see if she wanted to come for
dinner. The woman accepted and she was told dinner was to be ready
for 6, come at 5 or drinks. She had no plans so she accepted. She
showed up after 7. It turned out that after accepting, she got in her
car and drove to a craft show in a town about 15 miles away. While
she was there she ran into a former boss who had caused her a lot of
grief and was so upset ...... Sorry, but it was a roast and we went
ahead. Another time she was here visiting and my wife asked her to
stay for dinner. The roast was in the oven. She went home to change
and to feed her cat, a cat that is often left at home alone for a
week at a time. She lives less than 5 minutes drive from here, and
came back just as we were finishing.

Another woman on the do not ask list is the woman who had been dating
my brother in law until he died. She was with him when he died. We
were having my parents and my wife's parents for dinner and had
invited it. She was told drinks at five and dinner at six. I was in
the kitchen just before 6 making the gravy when the woman called to
say that she wasn't feeling well and could I come and get her. No, I
could not. She lives at least 40 minutes from us. Forty minutes
there, forty minutes back, round it off to an hour and a half. No
goddam way am I ruin a roast and making the other guests wait an hour
and a half for the sake of someone who called at the last minute. She
could have called earlier. Besides, the woman was a pathological
liar, and if she was really sick wouldn't have wanted to go out.

This woman had serious truth issues. The last time I saw her I had
stopped off to give here something. She had a "small favour" to
ask.... could we drive her up to her cottage and her help open it up
for the season. Just a small favour. The cottage is a 5 hour drive
from here. She said that her neighbour had backed into her car and
it is not derivable. I saw the damage to her front left fender. It
had obviously been scrapped by the corner of a brick wall. It was
dented and scrapped, not backed into by a car.

The woman was such a bad driver that a few years earlier she had run
over herself....seriously. She was on her way out, stopped and
reached out to put something in the garbage can, fell out of the car
and then it rolled forward and over her leg.

LOL... sorry:( Being your friend seems to carry risks <G>


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Relevant Pages

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