Joke Du Jour, fact or fiction? (gender humor)


1.   Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. 
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
 
   2.   Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible.   In a
world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.
 
   3.   Men are very confident people.  My husband is so confident that
when he watches sports on television, he thinks that if he concentrates
he can help his team.  If the team is in trouble, he coaches the players
from our living room, and if they're really in trouble, I have to get
off the phone in case they call him.
 
   4.   All men are afraid of eyelash curlers.  I sleep with one under
my pillow, instead of a gun.
 
   5.   A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner.  These men
usually have jobs and bathe.
 
   6.   Men are sensitive in strange ways.  If a man has built a fire
and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
 
   7.   Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating
goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man.  Men are like
portable heaters that snore.
 
   8.   Women take clothing much more seriously than men.  I've never
seen a man walk into a party and say, "Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed;
get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo."
 
   9.   Most men hate to shop. That's why the men's department is
usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the
door.
 
   10.  No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record
saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.
 
   11.  Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the
movie THE WAY WE WERE twice, voluntarily.
 
   12.  Men hate to lose.  I once beat my husband at tennis.  I asked
him, "Are we going to have sex again?" He said, "Yes, but not with each
other."
 
   13.  Getting rid of a man without hurting his masculinity is a
problem "Get out" and "I never want to see you again" might sound like a
challenge. If you want to get rid of a man, I suggest saying, "I love
you  . . . I want to marry you . . I want to have your children." 
Sometimes they leave skid marks.
 
   14.  Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with
super heroes.  Women have bad self-images because they grow up
identifying with Barbie.
 
   15.  Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause.  With
female menopause - you gain weight and get hot flashes.  Male menopause
- you get to date young girls, shave your head, get tattoos and drive
motorcycles.
 
   16.  Men forget everything; women remember everything.  That's why
men need instant replays in sports.  They've already forgotten what
happened.
--
Peace, Om.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson
.