Re: Honey, We're Killing the Kids

Glitter Ninja wrote:

~patches~ <noones_home@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> writes:


I've been rather vocal regarding the poor on the other thread but on this issue, I will admit to being downright judgemental. Parents have a resposibility to their kids. IMO allowing kids to do as the want or eat what they as far as junk food are being negligent.


My parents never let me eat whatever I wanted. The cookie jar was off
limits, and let me tell you, they had supersonic hearing and as long as
they were within five miles of the house, they could hear someone
opening that jar. There was never candy or soda or junk food in the
house, except Christmas candy during the season, but it was more off
limits than cookies.

Aside of ribbon candy that decorated a bowl at Christmas time, we had no candy in the house. That ribbon candy made it 10 years before some mouse decided to nibble on it. Soda and junk food was not allowed but you know I was never vocal about it, just didn't buy it. My kids could eat whatever fruit or vegetables they wanted without asking.


Breakfast was always cereal, lunch was some benign turkey sandwich and
grapes and maybe a little thing of pudding, mom's dinners weren't
particularly unhealthy but we did often have dessert later that evening. Otherwise no snacks. And I played outside all the time, I had a
swingset and a playhouse and parks nearby. I loved biking and swimming.

This is something I haven't considered. I didn't buy dried cereal other than granola and even then I finally ended up making granola from scratch. In the winter we had oatmeal sometimes but most breakfasts were fruit and yogurt.

Yet I was still fat. Mom would scold me, yell at me, embarass me in public, reduce my portions, lock me out of the house, and I never lost a pound. I was on my first diet when I was 6 years old.

That is sad and unfortunately set the pattern for life. Even if you as a parent restrict certain things the child doesn't need to know. They will accept it. I eliminated white sugar right from the time baby #1 was born. Until school age this kid would not even had known what candy was. To this day, none of my kids eat white sugar or candy. There was no need to scold or even say anything. They just accepted that. I think your mom was wrong to treat the problem the way she did. If anything that made the proble worse. She could have quietly changed your portions or food offerings and let you eat what was offered. I shudder at the locking you out of the house thing!

And I'll add something else: all the women on mom's side of the family
have had thyroid problems. They all had their thyroids removed or, more
recently, had some radiation which essentially killed the thyroid. But
none of them were fat. I am, and the doctors I've been to have ignored
this family history, except for one doc who said he knew I was lying
about thyroid problems "just like all fat women". Who knows how many
fat kids have health problems that lazy doctors don't want to diagnose?

That is another sad thing! Doctors need to listen to family histories. I would certainly be finding another doctor.

So when people get all angry at the parents, I know from experience it wasn't my parents' fault. I couldn't blame parents knowing that they might be trying everything they can.

It was and it wasn't as they ultimately set up a situation where you likely felt ashamed and humiliated not to mention sometimes not cared for. Those are all things that have set you up to use food for comfort.

Yes, some parents are negligent. A TV show or glance at the grocery store isn't enough to determine if they are or not, though.

That's quite true!

Stacia

.

Relevant Pages

  • Re: Halloween
    ... I buy candy every year. ... open the door, and after, and the kids seem to really like it. ... But when my mother first moved to Western Pa. ... The corner market is now a medical supply house for all the old people ...
    (soc.culture.jewish.moderated)
  • Re: Sleep and older children
    ... endless battles for independence from their parents. ... time the day they leave the house. ... I'm glad both kids have nice friends. ... dinner, but then out. ...
    (misc.kids)
  • Re: OT and Long: On Making it thru Parenthood
    ... he can rip up his fake ID (I'm sure he has one since all the kids seem to, though of course he won't own up to it) and I can breathe a sigh of relief that when he and his friends come home on semester break, and sit on my back patio having a beer, I don't have to live any longer with that dread fear of being arrested for "allowing" underage drinking in my home. ... My boys are happily ensconced in their own lives, older one still in and out of the house but building his career, younger one entering junior year in college, doing great, and talking about law school. ... New Years Eve and no parents home. ... And then yesterday before they left, they called to tell us that they had decided that Samantha could stay home alone, so she would feed the dog. ...
    (rec.music.makers.guitar.acoustic)
  • Re: Maddie abducted by opportunistic paedophile
    ... The common day things they did in those books most kids did. ... Not at age 3 with two younger siblings in the house with you, ... parents out of sight, earshot and contactability. ...
    (uk.legal)
  • Re: Does no one in the U.S. go out trick-or-treating anymore?
    ... were for all kids and teens, so our parents would take us to them ... When my kids were little enough to need me to take 'em trick-or- ... where the people clearly had the money to buy the good candy. ... Since we were in Interior Alaska, we'd drive them from house to ...
    (alt.true-crime)