Re: Mostly OT: Online bullying leads to suicide

On Dec 7, 8:18�am, law <lawiser...@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Ocean of Nuance wrote:
law wrote:

What you don't seem to understand is every child, even children within
the same family, even identical twins, is different. Sometimes, no
matter how you try, you cannot get through to a child without having
to Really get his attention.

Maybe it's a failure of imagination on the part of the parent to find
something that works even better than punishment. �There is a literature
on the failure of punishment as a tactic for parents.

And even if there are these 6 sigma kids out there, I have the sense
some 3,2, and 1 sigma kids are being punished also.

And there is literature on the failure of parents who didn't find the
proper carrot/stick with their children. I have the sense there are too
many children who are not getting some appropriate punishment because of
parents who either don't want the hassle, want to be the buddy, or think
theirs is the "right way" ... while their children are despised by
everyone they meet.



Such as: A friend's son (age about 3 to 4) took to sneaking away from
the family and go wandering. He was talked to, grounded, sent to his
room to sit on a chair (no books, no TV, no one to talk to), etc.,
etc. He ducked out one time and was gone so fast, he managed to cross
the major road near them (4 lanes, posted 30 and everyone did 45 or
better), get past the next street and then head up two more streets.
With 5 of us looking for him within minutes of his disappearing, we
lucked out and a city cop brought him back. The cop tried to explain
it to him.

I hope the parents were required to taking parenting classes after that.
�There is no blame on the child there whatsoever.

Why? Do you have your eyes on your kids 24/7? I doubt it. Even the cop
didn't see a reason for it to go further.



And he was a sneaky little turd.

It is metaphysically impossible for a 3-4 yo to be a "sneaky little
turd." �That is entirely your projection on him.

IF you think that, you are an idiot.



Last time he did this, I was visiting
for lunch. Everyone had been outside working in the yard.

The boy was left alone in the �house???

There's your problem.

Do you understand what the word EVERYONE means? Actually, if he had been
� left alone in the house, at least he wouldn't have been out running
the ridges.



We headed into
the house and once in realized the boy wasn't there. He'd just kept
hanging back until he could boogie. Well, this time, his mom had had
enough. She found him down by a creek that, since they lived in the
city, was not a good play ground. She walked him back, switching his
legs with a long weed. Every step he got a switch until he was marched
into his bedroom and told to stay until she wasn't mad at him. I
believe that was sometime the next day arond breakfast.

Is the mother mentally competent?

The mother is exceptionally competent. Stack her against you any day of
the week. She at least has a mind open to understanding more than her
own prejudices and bigotries.



Talking, restrictions, and boredom didn't work. But his mom got his
attention with that switch. And that was a demonstration of "spanking
offense" versus "nonspanking offense" -- if you or someone could get
seriously hurt for not obeying, spanking is appropriate.

Whose going to switch the mother for leaving the kid alone in teh house
to able to wander off?

You are an idiot. The kid was not in the house alone. The Kid was in the
yard with the family -- hence EVERYONE. He was with the family up to and
including when everyone went into the house. He didn't "wander off" --
What the "sneaky little turd" did was to just drift back through the
group until he managed to get himself left outside without anyone
noticing ... until we walked into the house and realized he had slipped
out again. As a body we all turned around and went looking.



I don't understand why some folks have kids.

I don't think you will get anything I wrote.

I know you won't get anything I wrote. You have a Sharon-Agenda and only
Sharon's-agenda is the only one.

LisaW
--
"A man who has nothing he is willing to fight for, nothing which he
cares more about than he does his own personal safety, is a miserable
creature, who has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by
the exertions of men better than himself. As long as justice and
injustice have not terminated their ever-renewing fight...human
beings must be willing...to do battle for the one against the other."
� � -- John Stuart Mill

Lisa--

I'm going to quote my husband for you <grin>

"dont' bother wrestling with a pig...you only end up dirty and the pig
enjoys it".

(how's that for some south jersey logic!)

betsey
.

Relevant Pages

  • Re: Company Sued Over Washing Machine Death
    ... but there should be a cut off switch for emergencies. ... >> brother shouldn't have slammed the door shut, but kids do stupid things ... > to open, the child might still have died, depending on how much water ... > door open, and push the coin slide in. ...
    (alt.true-crime)
  • Re: Company Sued Over Washing Machine Death
    ... but there should be a cut off switch for emergencies. ... >>> brother shouldn't have slammed the door shut, but kids do stupid things ... >> to open, the child might still have died, depending on how much water ... >> door open, and push the coin slide in. ...
    (alt.true-crime)
  • Re: Company Sued Over Washing Machine Death
    ... Doesn't mean we can actually *open* the oven door until ... but there should be a cut off switch for emergencies. ... > Of course the child shouldn't have climbed into the washing machine, ... > brother shouldn't have slammed the door shut, but kids do stupid things all ...
    (alt.true-crime)
  • Re: Making money from Java
    ... >> Criminals are perhaps the wrong people to be working with bad kids ... > working with bad kids. ... This person is a child psychologist, pedagogist, ... this "punishment" need not be forced by the ...
    (comp.lang.cobol)
  • Re: Why enright, slick, jaros, etc are wrong on the child support/alimony angle......
    ... principle being that all kids have the same basic needs - eg, ... Shaq's or Bill Gate's child doesn't *need* any more health care ... or confiscate his property because he chooses to clothe his kids ... amount of support to the children of the more affluent I am not ...
    (rec.sport.football.college)