Another funny
- From: "J. Z. M." <clayridgefarm@xxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Mon, 11 Jun 2007 22:27:15 -0400
Over the millennia, great riders have pondered the question of what came
first: the chicken or the egg? In case you've wondered how this debate is
going, let's listen in . . . .
FEI Dressage Judge: I distinctly recall a section of Alois Podhajsky's
classic prose which addressed this dilemma . . . let me look it up . . . .
Advanced Eventer: Who cares which came first? You may as well fry the eggs;
I don't want them as they have no speed whatsoever. A chicken, now---with
proper conditioning you can get a chicken to flee across the countryside at
a fairly good pace. Be aware that they panic at events called Hungry Fox
Horse Trials, however. If you can't afford a trained Advanced chicken, well,
you can try to start with an egg (we call them chicken prospects), but I'd
hardboil it first. Unboiled eggs should never hurl themselves at jumps, for
safety reasons.
Hunter Rider: I have no idea which came first, but if you give me a minute,
I'll go ask my trainer. I try to stay away from chickens---they're quite
unpredictable. You have to lunge them every morning or they won't stay
relaxed enough. Eggs are much slower, less intimidating, and easier to
control. I'd never recommend that an amateur rider try to control a chicken,
whereas an amateur adult is quite suitably mounted on a quiet, older egg.
Horse Whisperer: Shhhhh! Poultry can be touchy to saddle-break, whereas a
good cook can break an egg cleanly with one hand.
Rider Of National Arabian Endurance Champion: We all know that the most
elite breeds have fewer vertebrae than those other breeds. So I'd have to
say the egg came first and is still the choice of serious horsemen and
eggsmen, because eggs have a lot fewer vertebrae than chickens.
Grand Prix Dressage Rider: The answer is obviously that the chicken came
first. Let's take a moment to compare the chicken and the egg. Clearly, the
egg is closer to achieving true self-carriage. It has a much rounder
topline, indicating a much more advanced stage in its gymnastic development.
So you see, the chicken came first, while the egg is the later product of a
very sophisticated training regime.
Warmblood Stallion: Chickens came first. Why? Because I say so, that's why.
I was imported so I know everything.
American Sport Horse Breeder: Perhaps the Europeans have been breeding
performance chickens and Grand Prix eggs for centuries, but I'll put my
money on American-bred poultry any day of the week . . . Sorry, what was the
question? I was up all night waiting for a mare to foal so I'm
sleep-deprived. Oh, right. The egg came first. Then it's a zygote, and later
it's an embryo and 11 months after that it's a chicken and I've got at least
$10,000 invested in that bird--and that's if none of its buddies kick it in
the knee which means big veterinary bills--before I can even BEGIN to market
it . . . .
Colonel Sanders: Which one is Original Recipe? That one came first.
Pony Clubber: Pony Clubs stress treating eggs and chickens equally. Our
emphasis isn't on who came first, but on education, good eggsmanship and
quality chickenmanship.
Mothers Against Putting All Your Eggs In One Basket (MAPAYEIOB): We really
don't care which came first. Just don't put them all in one basket.
FEI Dressage Judge Again: Oh, dear. It seems that when Podhajsky's text was
translated into the English, they left out the chapter on egg-laying. I'll
check into this further. We may have to convene a committee to study this
problem and to make complicated recommendations.
Raw Egg: Do I look like a philosophy major to you?
Society For Promotion Of American Egguestrian Sports: Just as there's
prejudice against certain horse breeds, there is prejudice against dairy
products competing in equine sports. This is illogical. Eggs have a fine
tradition of participation in mounted sports events, including the
ever-popular Egg Race at gymkhanas. The serious Sport Egg Trainer must, of
course, realize that some eggs are more talented than others.
Non-Dairy, Egg-Like Food Products: The soy bean came first, and it will be
here long after eggs and chickens have disappeared from the racial memory.
Jack Russell Terrier: A scientific taste test, repeated 10 or 12 times for
verification of results, can solve almost any problem. Toss a chicken, a few
eggs and some honey mustard sauce over here and I'll look into it for you.
Yup, they both taste like chicken in honey mustard, which is what is really
important here.
.
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