Re: OT What am I going to do with her?

It may be even more a city vs country thing. I don't have a problem with "popping in" for local folks, as long as they don't expect me to be at home waiting for them. I'd not be too happy with a close family member traveling a long distance (several hours or more) and not giving me a bit of advance warning so I could at least plan to be home when they came. And I would not be happy with parents or siblings who traveled a distance to come to the city where I was living without giving me some advance notice, even if they were coming for some other purpose. You don't travel 1500 miles on the spur of the moment; it takes some advance planning and I would expect at least a phone call once their plans were definite. If it were a more distant relative or someone who was not a close friend, and they are coming to town for something else, a phone call after they get here would suffice.

Julia in MN

Michelle wrote:
I might get in trouble here, but. . .
Is the 'call ahead' a more northern thing than southern thing? If it's family, just 'popping in' is fine with me. I'm the mother, grandma, and I have a son who married a girl from NY and they insist that I call ahead. So if I'm out shopping and just want to stop by to see the kids for a few minutes, I don't unless I can call and get permission. At least that's my feeling. It has really put a distance between me and them. If someone 'pops in' they are expecting that you are not formally prepared for a visit, especially if you're family. If that means sandwiches for dinner and getting the kids to dance practice or sleeping on the couch, that's OK. Being treated as 'guests' does not create a close family relationship.
Just my opinion, don't jump on me, please.
Michelle

"NightMist" <nightmiste@xxxxxxxxx> wrote in message news:49029dc8.100424796@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
This year I decided to be proactive about my parents visiting.
As soon as the snow was off the ground, I got in touch and asked if
they were coming to visit. I skillfully manuvered my way through a
course of emails, offering assistance where it seemed I could be
useful. After months of this dance, my mom emailed me in early
September telling me that they were not going to make it out this
year.

So this afternoon she calls me and tells me they have been in town for
a week and she wants to know if I can do lunch tommorow.

It is not as if they just decide to drive over and see if we are home.
They live 1500 miles away, and usually take a plane then rent a car
and drive here from Cleveland.

I have no idea what to do with them.
I suppose I should feel lucky that she called at all instead of just
showing up on the doorstep as usual.
I have talked to my mom about this nonsense repeatedly.
I at least have her to the point where she usually lets me know if
somebody dies. Even so, last time she didn't tell me that my uncle had
died until after my dad got home from the funeral. Whereupon she also
told me that dad had stopped by our house but we weren't home. And it
never occured to anybody to call?

NightMist
--

Nothing has been the same since that house fell on my sister.




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