Re: [l/m 11/30/2004] Telling questions r.b. Turing test DW: (20/28) XYZ

True or false:

New York is where I'd rather stay.
False

I get allergic smelling hay.
False

I just adore a penthouse view.
False

Darling I love you, but give me Park Avenue.
False

Fresh Air...
Times square...
CY: Not in the same sentence.

You are my wife
Good bye city life
CY: Most likely.

Green Acres We are THERE!!!!

If True, hit 'n' now.


Thermarest index: For sleeping (select one)
A) Bed (perhaps water) with a canopy and mirror above are
required.
B) A feather bed is the ONLY requirement.
C) A nice firm mattress suits me fine, a hotel room or
vehicle will do.
CY: That's closest to my specs.


D) A tent over my head is a necessity.
E) A Thermarest is the only way to go.
F) An Ensolite is quite adequate for me.
G) A flat bed of sand is enough in summer time.
CY: Tent is nice, too, keep the bugs off.


H) Any flat ledge is comfortable. Pad? Too heavy.


Water index:
I) Perrier, s'il vous plait?

J) In the desert, I insist the water I drink be clear and
bug free.

K) I have to be able to clearly see the bottom of the cut
before I drink the
water.

L) The presence of a few floaters, sinkers or suspensions in
my water does
not bother me. Zooplankton add protein.

M) A little grit helps the digestive tract.
CY: Filter, then boil. Kills the girardia.

Fire index:
N) Nothing like a nice, big, roaring camp (bon) fire. Makes
it feel homey.

O) Ugh! Can we make Red-man fire?

P) Fire?! I'm telling Smokey the Bear on you!
CY: I like em a little bigger than needful.


Fire index 2 (aka stove index):
Q) I know how to use the microwave

R) Gas heats best.

S) Priming? I prefer Bleuet

T) I eat food cold.

U) Svea priming? No sweat, just slobber with fuel.

V) MSR priming? Sure, in a tent.
CY: propane is a beautiful thing.

Can you explain how a Svea, Primus, or Optimus stove works?


Fire index 3:

V) I can't even get my stove to light.

W) "I love the smell of napalm in the morning."

X) Douce with white gas and light.
CY: What is the word "douce"? Is that French for double?


Y) Start stove. Start wood fire using the stove.

Z) Matches/Bic lighter
CY: That's me.

A) Flint and steel

B) Rub two sticks


Earth index:
Which word do you use with frequency:

C) Dirt (or mud)
CY: I think that frequency dirt sounds better.

D) Soil (or loam)

E) Earth (or regolith)


Fauna Index
F) Animals! Ugh! Dirty.

G) Animals! Ah, so cute, don't you just want to feed them?
CY: Naah, I want to shoot at them, and eat em. They eat the
flowers that grow in my frequency dirty.

H) Well, we're not supposed to, but just a little crumb is
okay.

I) Nope, nothing what so ever. Camp robbers!

J) Nope, nothing what so ever. Natural foods for you.

K) Don't get started.


Mosquito index:
L) A pit helmet and net for me.
CY: What's a pit helmet? Is it anything like a pith helmet?
And, can you use it to dig frequency dirt, to make a
latrine?


M) DEET is fine.
CY: But, DDT works better.

N) Bugs? What bugs?

O) When you swat a mosquito and it falls into you food, you
think:
Fresh protein.


Plant index:
Terminology
Which word do you use with frequency:
P) Weeds
CY: Frequency dirt weeds.

Q) Plants

R) Flora


On a scale of 1-10, rate the value of toilet paper.
CY: Highly valuable. Better even than frequency dirt, or
frequency weeds.

Bathing/Washing Index:
Note the maximum number of days you would go without a bath
or shower:
(Simple hand washings can be ignored [assume IEEE Floating
Point: Inf is
an option])
CY: Until water became available, again. It's a shame to get
too frequency dirty.


Note the number of days you would go without shaving (face
for men, legs for
women): (Inf is still an option)

Technology index:
S) The thin mylar spaceblankets reflect 90% of your body's
heat back to you.
They are quite adequate.
CY: What are we trying to accomplish? Keep warm while in the
frequency weeds?


T) Clothing colors must coordinate like Liz Claiborne.

U) A down comforter is the way to go.

V) Everything should be Patagonia (or LL Bean).

W) Covered in thick rugged wool from head to toe (olive drab
is the usual
color).

X) What ever I can afford. If I can pay for fiberfill, then
so be it.
CY: Sounds like me, and then sleep on frequency dirt.

Compass index:

Y) Why bother? The only use of a topo map I know is to start
fires.

Z) Ask someone which way is north.

A) I can use a compass to find magnetic north.

B) I can use a compass and the magnetic declination to find
true north.
CY: I'm about ten degrees off, but not sure which direction.


C) I can use a compass and the magnetic declination to find
map north.

Navigation index:

D) I need a (large) landmark that I know I'm South of.

E) I need a compass to find north

F) I can find the north star on a clear night

G) If the sun is shining then I can find north using a watch
or a 3 foot stick.
CY: Yes, and prop the stick up in the frequency dirt.


Swim index I:

H) Where's the hot tub?

I) Not unless it's heated and chlorinated.
CY: That's my prefernece. I hate to get muddy with frequency
dirt and frequency weeds.


J) Only if it is fairly weed and algea free.

K) As long as it's wet and ice free.

L) Chop a hole in the ice and jump in.


Swim index II:

M) Not without a swimsuit.

N) Underware will do in a pinch.
CY: Any relation to "underwear" which is something you wear?
Ware is somethig you sell. A grocer sells wares.

O) Skinnydipping is ok if I'm alone.

P) Skinnydipping is ok if no members of the opposite sex are
near.

Q) I don't care who is watching. Just grin and "bare" it.


Temperature index (i.e. temperature ranges one is willing to
be
outside [with adequate clothing and water])
R) 60 to 70F
S) 40 to 80F
T) 20 to 90F
U) 0 to 100F
V) -20 to 110F
W) absolute zero to infinity.


Real test starts here:
Telling questions:

You are hiking on a trail when you catch up to another party
travelling in the same direction but slower. Do you:
a) Pass them without saying a word.
b) Ask to pass.
c) Stay behind them.
Why? Name other conditions which may effect this answer.
CY: Passing on a trail may effect (implement, or activate)
my answer. Weather, size of trail, etc, may affect (change,
or modify) my answer. I'd be tempted to effect an answer
like chat, idle small talk, and pass.


You are packing with friends who are enjoying those
dehydrated meals
(you know, the same ones you eat). As you are cleaning up
for the
evening, you notice your friend throw that nice little foil
and
plastic pouch into the fire. What do you do?
CY: Throw on a couple more sticks. And remind them that the
foil pouch may be needed later, and not to burn the rest of
them.


Would you be backpacking|climbing, etc. if the equipment
weighed
twice as much?
CY: Yes, but then it would be wheelbarrow camping.


Would you be backpacking|climbing, etc. if you had to bring
all the
water you were going to use on the trip in from the trail
head? assume
4 liters/4 kg (1 gallon/8 lbs) per person per day.

Would you be backpacking|climbing, etc. if you had to pack
eveything
including fecal matter out?
CY: That's an unpleasant question.


Driving home on a steep, twisty mountain road at night. You
come
upon an accident. The fire danger is very high. Do you put
road
flares out?
CY: Sure, so the fire department can find us faster.


You, your spouse, and your child have an accident. Given an
equal probability of rescue, which you can only do once,
who do you save?
CY: Depends. Is the kid a good cook? Who is lighter weight?


You witness two people wander onto a frozen lake and fall
thru.
What is the first rule of rescue?
CY: Shoot them, and take their stuff? More seriously, don't
become another victim while trying to rescue


Is the privilege of just seeing Yosemite enough?
CY: No, I want to throw a rock off the top of the cliff and
hear it land.


How much would you pay for gas to visit the backcountry?
CY: Whatever's on the pump.


You are on Mt. Everest. Two members of your international
team
were climbing high. A tyrolean traverse was needed to
return.
The German member thought nothing of this section and
started
back, but his partner, the Indian member had trouble. The
German waited and stompped his feet until he could take it
no
more. He went back to camp and got you the assistant
climbing
leader. You rushed up high as quickly as your could with 6
other members. You wisely grabbed a set of ski poles as
wands
to find your way back. Night is approaching and a storm is
coming. You reach the Indian; he is badly frozen but alive.
The members decide to try to lower into a crevice to escape
the storm. Hacking together available fixed rope, you lower
the stricten Indian, but you are 40 feet, too short. What
do
you do?
CY: Well, d'uh, you didn't lower a hammer or something, and
see if it reaches the bottom? This isn't gonna happen on my
watch!


See the film Back to the Future III. In one scene, the
character
Marty gets some water. Would you drink it?

You are faced with making a dicey rock climbing move.
Your only real hold is a locker finger jam. If you bury
your finger
in the jam and fall, you will most likely severely
damage/lose the finger.
If you loosely grip the hold, you will probably fall.
How do you make the move?
CY: Sink a hammer into the crack. Or a piton.


A heel hook is the most secure way to make the move, but if
you fall upside
down while hooking, you may get hurt.

If you try to clip a fixed piece midway through a strenuous
crux,
you will probably pump out and fall, but if you don't clip
it you may
take a long whipper.

If you try to make turns while skiing an icy slope, you will
probably fall,
but if you don't make turns, you may develop a dangerous
amount of speed.

True or false: The natural world exists and only has value
in the
context of Mankind.
CY: For sure!


If you take the bivy sack to the summit, you will probably
need it,
but if you don't....
CY: You'll need it even more.


You are driving to the woods. You arrive at a broken
traffic intersection
street light. Four cars arrive simultaneously from each of
the four
directions. Who goes first?
CY: The one with the blone woman driver.

You are offered a class on wilderness medicine on a given
weekend. You
were hoping to go backpacking that weekend. Do you take the
class or do
you go backpacking (and hope you will not need the class
before you have
another chance to take it)?
CY: Take the class.


Would you defend your family, even if it meant breaking the
law?
Would you defend your house, when only property and not life
was threatened,
even if it meant breaking the law?
CY: Part of defending the home includes not talking about
it.

Would you defend your environment, even if it meant breaking
the law?
CY: Heck, no. I'm no greenie whacko.


Your new husband is from Alaska, "the frozen state," do you
move up there
and join him?
CY: Since I'm Mormon, and male, I'd have to go see the
Bishop and figure out how to divorce my faggy husband, and
repent of my sins.


Your new wife is from New York City, the concrete jungle. Do
you move
there to join her?
CY: We discussed this before we got married. She's moving
here.


You are snowmobiling in Yellowstone in winter. You see a
bison break thru
the ice into the frozen river. Assume you have a rope. Do
you rescue the
bison? A ranger comes by, what do you think the ranger
would say?
CY: Definitely not. Them things are too big for me. Ranger
would likely say that's a shame.


You come across a pair of turkeys busyly making sure that
there will be
a new generation of turkeys. Do you watch quietly, make
some noise (so
that they know you are there) or leave (letting them have
some privacy)?
What if they are human instead of feathered?
What if the story involved bears|bares instead?
CY: Telephoto lens, about f 2.8 at 1/100 second should do
nicely to any of the above.


If a tree falls in a forest and no human is around, does it
make a sound?
CY: Yes.

If a tree falls in a forest and no human is around, does it
have data?
CY: Yes.

At what age, or how do you tell, when you become too old to
drive?
CY: When you're unsafe.




Do you trench your tent?
CY: No, but probably should. Right after I milk my cereal.



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