Celebrity Reality TV Train Wrecks
- From: TMC <tmc1982@xxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Sun, 15 Nov 2009 17:00:12 -0800 (PST)
http://tv.yahoo.com/blog/celebrity-reality-tv-train-wrecks--788
By Amy & Nancy Harrington, GetBack.com | Friday, November 13, 2009,
12:02 PM
Kirstie's new reality show comes in peace.
Dr. Billy Ingram/WireImageThe reality TV world took a double hit last
week when news broke that two of Hollywood's more unconventional stars
were getting their own shows. First came word that David Hasselhoff is
in talks to do a series with his two daughters. Then Kirstie Alley
announced that she'll have her own docudrama chronicling her progress
on a new weight-loss program (while she produces a movie and raises
two girls on her own). We admit that the shows from the Hoff and the
"Fat Actress" star are right up our alley. We're rubberneckers: If
there's an accident on the highway, we slow down. And there's nothing
more worth straining to see than a good old celebrity reality TV train
wreck. Be careful and enjoy the ride.
"Breaking Bonaduce"
We were excited to get a glimpse into one of the oddest Hollywood
couples of all time. After all, "The Partridge Family's" hot mess,
Danny Bonaduce, had married his wife in Vegas the very day he met her.
Despite the odds stacked against them, Danny and Gretchen had been
married for 15 years when "Breaking Bonaduce" came to VH1. Yet even
with televised counseling, Danny and the marriage proceeded to fall
apart before our very eyes. He started drinking again, displayed an
outrageously volatile temper, and he even attempted suicide. It was
incredibly depressing but compelling TV. Danny and Gretchen split, and
now he's engaged to Amy Railsbeck, a 26-year-old former substitute
teacher who's become his full-time manager. That should help his
career (and mental state) immensely.
"Shooting Sizemore"
There's only one celeb on the reality TV circuit who could make Danny
Bonaduce look like he's got it all together: Tom Sizemore. The star of
films by such legendary directors as Stephen Spielberg and Ridley
Scott has had a very tragic and public fall from grace over the years.
The dude's got a rap sheet that includes his conviction for the
assault and battery of his former girlfriend, Hollywood madam Heidi
Fleiss, a Methamphetamine bust, and a recent domestic-violence arrest.
So of course VH1 would give him his own docudrama. The series followed
Sizemore as he tried to reignite his Hollywood career. Instead, it
just showed what a dark and complex figure he's become. As far as we
can tell, Spielberg is not directing Tom's rumored 2010 release,
"Cowboys From Hell 3D."
"Britney and Kevin: Chaotic"
Producers get extra credit for aptly naming this show "Britney and
Kevin: Chaotic." These badly filmed home videos chronicled the low-
rent moments of the pop star and her backup-dancer boyfriend. Britney
should've known something was wrong when she professed her love in
Episode 3 and he didn't say it back. She definitely should've gotten a
clue in Episode 4 when SHE asked HIM to marry her and he said no (of
course, in a fateful moment, he later proposed to her). The writing
was on the wall from the very beginning, and yet the show was just too
chaotic to last past the wedding in Episode 5.
"Leave It to Lamas"
Lorenzo Lamas must be blind about how he comes across on TV. If he
wasn't, he would make a concerted effort to reach out to his son,
A.J., rather than intentionally snubbing his heir at his recent
cabaret show. We get the fact that A.J. is no prize -- really, we get
it. But it's practically impossible to watch a father-son ego war and
not think the dad should be the bigger man and set things right. Now
that A.J.'s landed a role on an HBO pilot, maybe Lorenzo will start
being a bit nicer. After all, Lorenzo, you never know when your hot-
headed offspring could get you a walk-on part.
"Denise Richards: It's Complicated"
We can only imagine that Denise Richards' intention when signing on to
this reality show was to garner support for her team in the midst of
her ugly split from ex-husband Charlie Sheen. And yet she managed to
do the seemingly impossible: She made viewers realize that the former
client of Heidi Fleiss, whose own father once had him arrested, was
probably the better half of this Hollywood parenting duo. Denise took
a lot of heat for allowing her two daughters to appear in the series.
We had a bigger beef with the fact that it just didn't seem
particularly complicated at all: Denise is harsh and boring.
"Armed and Famous"
The idea was reality TV genius: Take five celebrity has-beens, give
them police training, and make them reserve officers. And the casting
was divine: heavy-metal offspring Jack Osbourne, pro wrestler Trish
Stratus, Wee Man from "Jackass," the wackiest Jackson (La Toya), and
everyone's favorite "CHiP": Erik Estrada. Unfortunately, only five
episodes aired, and the last few shows were never even edited. Not
that the series was without its drama. One Muncie, Indiana, local
filed a lawsuit claiming her Constitutional rights had been violated
during a taped search of her home. Another night on the beat, Erik
Estrada yelled at a stabbing victim after the ambulance-bound man
called him Emilio Estevez (we'd be mad, too). Sounds like good TV to
us. There was an upside to the primetime disaster: Estevez -- we mean
Estrada -- returned to Muncie when the show ended and officially
became a cop.
"Being Bobby Brown"
Occasionally, some press CAN be bad press. Pop star Bobby Brown didn't
do himself any favors by "relaunching" his career on a reality show.
There's no denying that the series made him a household name for the
first time in a long while. But we also got a very close look at the
man -- not really our kind of guy -- and his "lovely" (now ex-) wife,
diva Whitney Houston. Was "Being Bobby Brown" the ultimate guilty
pleasure? Yes. Would we have wanted to have the Brown family over for
a barbecue? As Whitney would say, "Hell to the no."
"The Apprentice: Martha Stewart"
When Donald Trump launched the spin-off to his successful reality
series "The Apprentice," the choice of stars to fill his CEO shoes
seemed brilliant. After all, Martha Stewart is a self-made woman --
the ultimate female entrepreneur who turned her local catering
business and OCD personality into not just an empire but also a
lifestyle. However, "The Apprentice: Martha Stewart" was NOT a good
thing. Primetime audiences did not warm to the domestic ice queen, and
after one season her show was carefully packed in acid-free tissue and
put on the shelf.
"Hulk Knows Best"
Not every family should have a reality TV show. The Osbournes managed
to come off as a loving clan. Gene Simmons showed that despite the
lack of a marriage license, his brood was actually really tight.
According to reports, Hulk Hogan signed on to do a docudrama to help
his daughter Brooke launch a singing career. Instead, the family
became more famous off-camera for some less-than-stellar events.
Hulk's son Nick was charged with a felony for reckless driving and
underage drinking. He was ultimately sentenced to eight months in
prison, while his friend and passenger suffered severe brain damage.
Then Hulk allegedly cheated on his wife with his daughter's friend,
who is 21 years younger than him. Linda one-upped Hulk by filing for
divorce and dating a 19-year-old (a one-time fellow student at her
kid's high school). Brooke actually fared the best of all. She might
not be a pop star, but when Hulk's show was canceled, she did land her
own spin-off series, called, appropriately enough, “"Brooke Knows
Best."
"The Girls Next Door"
The first few seasons of "The Girls Next Door" were creepy enough.
Watching the 79-year-old Hugh Hefner live with Holly Madison, Bridget
Marquardt, and Kendra Wilkinson never sat well with us. But the show
took an even more uncomfortable turn when 20-year-old twins Karissa
and Kristina Shannon moved into the mansion with the now 83-year-old
magazine magnate. 'Nuff said.
.
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